Fire-and-Water

The movement is more fluid than Jeff Beck.

Edit - Sorry, HAS more fluids than Jeff Beck.

I really hate this game and everything it stands for, and anyone willing to buy it. So I treated it like every other game that I hate this much and looked it up and found out that it was being developed by Acquire... That's beyond sad. Anyone remember those guys? Tenchu for the PS1? Shinobido for the PS2? Way of The Samurai? Ok now I'm pushing it those were horrible. But I played most of these games since I was 6 years old. Even played Samurai Western. Now they're doing this.. Preetty sad eh?

@JaxonH "I was playing a game called Armillo on Wii U recently and I swear it was better than most retail releases "

Of course you were, it's on the Wii U!

Kidding.

Am I the only one who finds "indie" games more mediocre than "AAA" games? When I browse through the PSN store I get the terrified feeling that someone hooked their iPad to my TV or something. The Playstation is a great medium for "indie" games, but it feels somebody has a couple of pages off Apple's notebook and have been chewing on the crayons used for writing it for too long. I might be delusional but I suppressed the urge to throw my controller at the TV every time I see a title that belongs in a 90s sitcom like "NINJA FRUITY KITTEN BATTLE SMASHERS ARENA". I find this more condescending than HANNAH MONTANA: THE GAME. I don't really feel noble when I buy an indie game, the only man I'm sticking it to is the tw*t holding the controller: me.

There's a steroids joke here waiting to happen..

So far I've been using the PSN to reminisce on older games and stupid DLC that I regret buying. Most PSN games in store? I can easily find better online, for free.

Fez sucks.

Said the video game journalist with a clever little word play for the title and sub header.

Nice place Alex.

Almost every Japanese game is plagued with Anime standards that are holding it back. It's amazing what they can get away with, I'm so desensitized by it that if you haven't pointed it out I probably wouldn't have noticed.

@rastamadeus Funny that you'd say that.

This makes Leisure Suit Larry look like The Last of Us. Beyond trashy. I remember all the sites who slammed Killer is Dead are now looking at this title with anticipation. If I ever bought this game it would be like paying for rape.

Seeing this title localized is kinda sad. Because it's not the best Japan can offer, and there are far more worthy titles that should be translated but aren't.

Eh, never liked The Last of Us. Took itself too seriously. Reminded me of AC3 predicting the end of the world. You're way over your heads you pretentious A holes.

@k_andersen You beat me to it, sir. I'm sure someone already beat me to a Lebowski reference too. Not gonna bother.

Eh, I never liked puzzles. I'm amazed this game is a success, it seems like it goes out of its way to be ... Odd. Ohoho a pun! I'm giggling in my loafers. Please pardon me before I wet my pants.

I'm gonna be honest, I didn't read the article. I just came here to say that I hope Nathan Fillion and his fans die in a big wood chipper. Alongside his sh*tty movies.

I hate to ruin the party but that doesn't look too different guys.

Just reminding the masses that just like Bioshock Infinite, you're gonna need to suspend disbelief in order to really enjoy the wacky story.

Hit the snooze button guys. He's been saying that since Shenmue II.

@drumsandperc92 It's a beat em up game with a simple power up system and text boxes. Loved by weeaboos, people crying over Shenmue, and fans of the beat em up genre, still for some unknown reason stuck in the 90s. I'm all three.

Oh, and you're a bit off. It plays more like Rockstar's Bully or The Warriors.

A 3/10 isn't a suitable verdict.

It should have gotten a SUCKED THE BIG ONE out of 10. In all caps. Seriousness aside, it's a mediocre game not a bad one. It's better than Rambo.

Glad they didn't sugarcoat it.

@ShogunRok It does make sense. Narrative that puts you in a state of apathy: See Final Fantasy XIII-2.

@ShogunRok Hahaha!! So basically the story is so bad and generic it makes Dragon Age looks good.

@AFCC I thought Dragon's Dogma was a well-rounded game actually. In my opinion it's better than Ni no Kuni.

All the criticism about the story in this review is present in Dragon Age. Technical snafus seem like what's really wrong with this game. This game is what Thief is to Dishonored. What's funny is nobody said "it's okay guys, Let's just wait for BioWare to finish Dragon Age 3!"

Speaking of Thief, the guy who wrote that "violent folk dance" line should review every bad game that ever comes out.

Wow. This review looks like it's been written with punches to the keyboard. Is this game really that bad??

If the title doesn't give you a seizure, the gameplay will. Reminds me of that Simpsons episode where they travel to Japan and their pupils just dilate and fall straight to the ground after watching something on TV. It seems like this game has that kind of novelty.

(Spoilers, kinda)

6. NO I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH THAT CIA DOUCHEBAG. The game just forces you to be with this guy even though he forces her to join the CIA as a teenager, deceives her for the entire game and is the ultimate reason why she almost died and then became homeless, treats her horribly then decides he wants to show up to her apartment. The whole game I'm fighting to not be with this guy. The entire time he's around I'm getting douche chills and hearing War Pigs on loop in my head! I'd rather play a David Cage version of Juno than revisit that part of the story. I'd rather have William Dafoe as a romance option. I'd rather have that guy in the alley who's got 10 bucks as a romance option.

Someone was asking about the flaws of the game.

1. More story and less gameplay is not gonna please everyone.
2. Contrived story that tries too hard, and a messy storyline. Normally wouldn't be a problem, but this being more of an interactive movie than a game brings it down a notch.
3. The illusion of options. Take Mass Effect's infamous ending and stretch it out.
4. Restrictions, and lack of interactivity. It's a game that plays itself basically.
5. That scene when a teenage emo version of Ellen Page was told to not go into a redneck bar and then she starts doing a guitar solo to express her frustration. That was so lame and unintentionally funny, and poorly shot it was like watching The Room meets Wayne's World. Look it up it's comedy gold.

Anyway it's a decent game, but I don't think it can get away with being an interactive bad movie. The reason why people are so critical is because of its quality, the money involved, Heavy Rain, and of course being an exclusive. If this was an actual movie, I wouldn't pay for it. If I had to pick one, Heavy Rain or Beyond Two Souls, I would go for Heavy Rain.

Is that an iDroid in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Fight Night Champion is really one of the best fighting simulators, if not fighting games in general of the PS3. The game deserves a mention, and the team behind it is sure to make a mind blowing experience. I dislike the monopoly that EA Sports has, and I'll miss the level of competition that made great games in the past. The title takeover couldn't have happened to a nicer company though.

You had me until "Pushsquare exclusive".

Not a fair fight. Ocelot has super powers.. er, nano machines. A fair fight woulda been Young Ocelot vs Marston.

Grunge to me as a genre is exactly what Indie is today. It turned out to be a sham and died accordingly alongside MTV. Totally with @Axel210 here.

Bad game design is really apparent in this game. You got the usual fetch quests except they're not marked anywhere, so the game wants you to explore. And it's not the fun type of exploring, it's the "blimey where did I put my bloody keys" kind of exploration. On the other hand the whole campaign is a time trial so the game doesn't want you to waste time. You have to do quests in order to improve your character's strength. When you run out of time you start all over again, which is fine but it's so boring..

You think that's a good enough recipe for a disaster, just wait until you meet the obnoxious cast of Final Fantasy XIII. FFX characters were almost as harrible and uninteresting, but at least they were memorable. You want Lightning to go back to her slumber the moment she speaks. The story is of course contrived and convoluted, and once you really read into it and try to put two and two together and just REALLY take it all in. You're met with the sudden revelation of how dumb the whole story is. Worse than Kojima. Okay fine, Metal Gear fans, it makes sense you win, but it's still dumb.

Of course there are good things about this game but I'm ignoring them. Because Final Fantasy's best days are sadly behind it. They're constantly trying new things-which is good-but it's more of a miss than a hit. This is a definite low point in the franchise.

This game took a beating. That "violent folk dance" line killed me.

Censorship is horsesh*t. Apart from that patience is a far better virtue than mindless consumerism. Which is unfortunately a big part of the gaming world. The things I could have done with the money I spent on over-hyped first day purchases.

Morrigan was very, very obnoxious to have around. All she was in my opinion is a failed attempt to make a strong, "sexy" female character. Meanwhile she's straight out of a sweaty nerd's fanfiction. Dragon Age's writing to the fantasy RPG world is what Twilight is to vampire fiction in my opinion. So horrible.

Now, you might think I have a biased opinion here. But Bayonetta literally made me cringe as well. Very similar game. Enjoyable to play, but god-awful characters, pandering sexual themes, less pretentious maybe, but so blunt it made me shudder. The camera work in that game was taken straight out of porn movies. The creators were begging for adult doujin worse than Square Enix with their FF characters.

Both are obnoxiously sexual, posing as strong female characters, meanwhile they represent nothing more than the lowest common denominator's smutty little fantasies.

THE VERDICT: Bayonetta. Because at least the character is honest with what she is. Just kidding. There's no comparison. C'mon guys. A better comparison would be a female character from Final Fantasy or something. While Morrigan is conjuring up a spell Bayonetta would rain bullets from all angles at her and her party. Just the fact that she took on as many foes ALONE, and the huge gap in combat abilities makes Bayonetta win by a mile.

Wei Shen and Kiryu. have similar physical attributes, the main difference is age. Which really hasn't slowed down Kazuma one bit.

Both Wei Shen and Kiryu have a very similar fighting style as well, Wei Shen being more sophisticated and acrobatic (Wing Chun, Thai boxing, etc). Kiryu on the other hand has a wild unsophisticated style which isn't as acrobatic but incorporates many martial arts. Judo, pro wrestling, kickboxing, Komaki techniques. Both have a varied style, even share an almost identical rush combo. Both use the environment to execute brutal moves. Both are also savvy with weaponry.

Wei Shen may have the edge in fundamental martial arts, but Kiryu compensates for it with physical strength and agility, easily tossing heavier opponents around mid-combo, or doing a hurricanrana while being drunk. Kiryu is more of a weapons expert as well, handling nunchukus, taiko sticks, katanas, hammers, staffs, and short swords with ease.

The winner: Kazuma Kiryu. Easily. Kazuma has defeated many fighters with a style that resembles Wei Shen. The age difference actually benefits Kiryu. Wei Shen was never truly challenged the same way as Kiryu. Defeating two tigers in Yakuza 2, beating up bulls in Yakuza 3, and martial artists of a high caliber in underground fighting death matches. Fighting the Triad and the Yakuza, politicians with a military team, Kazuma had some messed up fights.

In conclusion, Wei Shen is most likely going to win, but only because people are more familiar with him than Kazuma Kiryu.

Wow this is a really brutal review. The game looks like an arcade port.

This is so comical. It reminds me of Korean soap operas. How they use the same stock of actors to do the same plot over and over again. It's a first day purchase for me though if it was ever localized.

SEGA has been like an abusive drunk husband to its Western fans, but we still stick with them because of the kids. Anyone who played Dead Souls on the first day knows what I mean.

It'll be interesting making these ambitious ideas in today's technology. Hopefully they'll hold up.

Great stuff guys. Keep reviewing the smaller titles. It's what brought me on to this site to begin with.

The game reminds me of those dating sims I stumbled upon when I was still facing puberty and the internet.

Anyway great article.

duuudes i hate 2 ruin the party but the 90s are over

I have-a no home!

I've seen some neckbeard journalist playing this game, and to be honest, the guy made it look pretty bad. You know when your little brother used to do that?

He was being zapped in the ass for 15 minutes and it was focused on the side of his face more than the screen.. Way to tease the game now I don't want to play it.

I really don't know what makes Dynasty Warriors a popular game. It's like ad nauseam in video game form. Then there's Assassin's Creed. Hehhugh! shudder

I'd take Anime storytelling over pretentious storytelling. So Buk Lau wins.

"Trippin’ balls tremendously"

Mkay.

oh..