Game Reviews scoring 1, 2 or 3/10
Review Tetsumo Party - An Unusual Party Game That's Shorter Than a Sumo Wrestler's Mawashi
Bring on the wall
If you've ever watched Hole in the Wall, the game show based on the Japanese phenomenon, you'll know roughly what to expect in Tetsumo Party. This odd little game sees up to four players surviving for as long as possible against a constant wave of panels with sumo wrester-shaped holes in them. It's your job to get your character in...
Review DayZ - Far Too Little Far Too Late for the PS4's Worst Performing Game
Zzz
DayZ was a cultural phenomenon when it launched as a mod for ARMA 2 in mid-2012. As one of the first games to successfully implement survival elements and mechanics into its gameplay loop, it paved the way for an entirely new genre that is still just as popular today. That original experience was seven years ago though, and the world of video...
Review Bubsy: Paws on Fire - Put a Paws on Buying This Platformer
This kitty's got (no) claws
After lying dormant for nearly two decades, 2017 saw the release of a new Bubsy title when The Woolies Strike Back released for the PlayStation 4. Much like the many other entries in the series, it was received rather poorly. In our review, it was referred to as probably the last entry in the series of underwhelming...
Review Generation Zero - A Woeful Open World Ordeal Stuck in the Past
Last gen design
Despite flying under most people’s radars, Generation Zero is actually a fairly major fall from grace. From developer Avalanche Studios, its latest open world foray is in stark contrast to the explosive, experimental, and action-packed nature of Just Cause 4's Solís. Instead, the studio’s take on a 1980s Sweden ravaged by an...
Get in the sea
What the heck happened to One Piece: World Seeker? Was the developer short on time? Short on budget? Or was it just an awful idea to make an open world setting your one and only gimmick in 2019? We would genuinely love to know, because the game feels completely unfinished in almost every possible way. Even for the relatively low...
Review Left Alive - An Embarrassing Imitation of Bygone Classics
Barely breathing
If it’s not immediately obvious, Left Alive is trying its absolute best to be the next Metal Gear Solid. Set in the mech-based universe of Front Mission, Square Enix’s latest experiment attempts to mash together a whole host of buzzwords into one cohesive experience that places the emphasis on stealth, but it fails on every...
Review Spike Volleyball - Life's a Beach and Then You Cry
Will do, Spike
For an extremely popular genre, the budget distribution across sports games is somewhat out of whack. You’ve got FIFA at the top of the league, with Madden and NBA 2K not far behind – but not even popular sports like tennis can get appropriate funding these days, resulting in rubbish attempts like Tennis World Tour. You’d think...
Review The Quiet Man - PS4's Most Baffling Game
Best kept on mute
We wrapped up The Quiet Man's conclusion no less than five minutes ago, and to say we’re baffled and bewildered would be an understatement. The bottom line is that Human Head Studios’ attempt at blending FMV with interactive combat scenes utterly fails in every conceivable way. In fact, everything about this project is truly...
Review Fall of Light: Darkest Edition (PS4)
Keep the lights off
Developer RuneHeads is one year old, fronted by just two people, and based in Italy. Combined, these three factors make Fall of Light: Darkest Edition’s release on PS4 a surprising one thanks to the speed at which it has arrived, as well as the lack of staff on board to manage the port. Unfortunately though, after releasing to...
Better left dead
The Left 4 Dead franchise was one of the defining reasons for the rise in popularity of co-operative multiplayer shooters during the previous generation, and looking back on things, it’s kind of crazy to think that neither instalment ever made its way onto the PlayStation 3. However, the genre has taken a bit of backseat in recent...
MXGP Con
Milestone releases a large number of racing games every year. Some of them aren’t half bad, such as Gravel, while others, chiefly its motorcycle games, leave something to be desired. Unfortunately, MXGP Pro is one of the motorcycle games, and while this is nowhere near as bad as the absolute debacle that was MXGP 3, it’s a definite step...
Review New Gundam Breaker (PS4)
Gundamned
"More like New Gundam Broken" started out as a dumb joke that we slung around the Push Square office after spending just 20 minutes or so with this latest mech-'em-up from Bandai Namco, but here we are 20 hours later and nothing has changed. New Gundam Breaker is a disappointing wreck of a release, and yet another...
Review Illusion: A Tale of the Mind (PS4)
Lobotomy
Some games, no matter how much work the devs put into them, just never come together. While some elements could be great, the overall experience just doesn’t click in any meaningful way. Illusion: A Tale of the Mind, from Canadian dev Frima, is a title that suffers from this. While its virtual reality title Fated: The Silent Oath is one...
Sucking the fun out of it all
It hasn’t even been a full two years since Gal*Gun: Double Peace caused a bit of a stir upon its PlayStation 4 launch, but in a desperate attempt to satisfy your kink, developer Inti Creates is back with a sequel. You won’t be surprised to hear then that Gal*Gun 2 attempts to be just as titillating as its...
Review Assault Gunners HD Edition (PS4)
Not meching waves
Assault Gunners HD Edition feels completely out of place on PlayStation 4. Originally released on Vita in Japan, it never made its way over to the West until this HD remaster, and we can see why. The only real selling point is that you control mechs, and while this point alone might do enough to justify a few purchases in the East,...
A peasantry affair
With over 11 years' worth of material to draw inspiration from, a video game adaptation of the Beast Quest franchise arrives with a somewhat decent amount of potential. Telling tales of mythical creatures and the heroes that slay them, does the series’ first attempt on consoles go down in the history books with a lasting legacy...
Review Fear Effect Sedna (PS4)
Real-time tragedy
It’s been 17 years since the last Fear Effect game came out, and thinking back, the one thing that always tends to come to mind about the series is the questionable marketing that surrounded the second game. Fear Effect was always touted as a more adult take on the Resident Evil formula, but the way in which Eidos – the...
Past caring
Past Cure tells the story of an ex-soldier named Ian who is suffering from a bout of amnesia pertaining to a three year period in his life, after which he wound up with some extraordinary abilities. He, naturally, wants to know what happened to him in that time and why he can now do things that mere mortal men cannot, and with the help...
Empty chamber
On paper, Out of Ammo sounds like a good idea – but any positive notions are squashed almost as quickly as the game can boot up. Out of Ammo is a blend of real-time strategy and first-person shooter. You take control of a squad from above and build your base, with the ability to switch and control any individual on the ground at...
Review Tokyo Tattoo Girls (PS Vita)
Tattoo nightmares
Tokyo Tattoo Girls is definitely a strange game. If you’ve taken a look at any of the trailers for it then you can be forgiven for assuming that it’s going to be some kind of JRPG – even the opening cutscene feels like typical JRPG territory. But ignore your initial preconceptions, Tokyo Tattoo Girls is actually a...
Motorcyc-hell
THE FUTURE. Sick of being taken advantage of by power hungry, money grubbing fat cats, the disenfranchised people of the city of Ashen rise up against their oppressors the only way they know how: by forming motorcycle gangs and hitting each other with big sticks. This is Road Rage: a dreadful vehicle combat game that is probably only...
Trials of fluff
In the same vein as Abzu, Journey, and the recent AER: Memories of Old, Oure likes to keep itself a little vague. Developer Heavy Spectrum, best known for its work on last year’s Shadow of the Beast, has taken clear inspiration from the likes of thatgamecompany’s masterpiece – but does this help turn Oure into a memorable...
Review RAID: World War II (PS4)
Nein out of ten
Men-on-a-mission movies set during World War II – such as Guns of the Navarone or Where Eagles Dare – that see a mismatched group of people embarking on near suicidal missions have long been inspiration for video games. RAID: World War II – a co-op multiplayer title in the vein of the Payday series – hopes to apply this...
Review Touhou Kobuto V: Burst Battle (PS4)
Touhou want to fight?
If you’ve ever wanted to make super cute anime girls beat the living daylights out of each other for fun but balked at the Dead or Alive series, then NIS America has just delivered what you’re looking for with Touhou Kobuto V: Burst Battle. This is a twist on the arcade fighting games that gives you guns as well as swords...
A bad crop
When we received the code for Maize, a comedic first-person adventure game about sentient corn, we were obviously intrigued. How could we not be? The key art features a stalk of corn listening to a boom box, and in an industry that can at times feel bereft of fresh ideas, this left-field offering from Finish Line Games excited us. Not...
Either a benefit or a hazard
Bloober Team is a fascinating developer. The Polish outfit has released a couple of games this generation: its first, Basement Crawl, was so poorly received that it had to be remade, and was reborn as Brawl. Its follow-up to this was Layers of Fear, a Victorian-themed horror title about painting, and it remains one of...
Review Valkyria Revolution (PS4)
Shite of the Valkyries
Valkyria Revolution is a spin-off to Valkyria Chronicles that eschews much of what made that game popular and fails to improve upon it in any way. The tactical combat of Chronicles has been radically revamped into an action role-playing game to disastrous effect, the story is hampered by a catalogue of issues, and on a...
Review I Want to Be Human (PS4)
Don't let it be human
From the outset, I Want to Be Human presents itself as a rough-and-ready rebellious ride. A Blink-182-style pop-punk song proclaims “I want to be human” upon startup as the text on screen spasms back and forth, red and black covering the main menu. Developer Sinclair Strange’s first console release is a ride, alright...
Crash and burn
In 2014, Milestone – a dev with a very long history working with motorcycle games – launched a new series with MXGP: The Official Motocross Videogame. While it was an alright title, it didn’t exactly blow us away. Skip ahead to present day and Milestone has released the third entry in the series. During that time, has...
Deer God
A 2.5D platformer set in a mysterious forest, The Deer God sees you playing as the titular majestic mammal - among other animals - which you have been reincarnated as after getting mauled by wolves on a hunting trip. Despite the interesting setting and background, however, developer Cinopt Games' first foray onto console is an...
