Topic: The Chit Chat Thread

Honestly the entire attitude to mental illness both in public and in institutions is....appalling. I can't pick another word for it.

Back at university (YAY!) the facilities for talking and discussing mental health wasn't good. Not terrible, they existed and offered solutions, but the real help came from my GP.

In fact when I moved back home, and my medical records transferred to my new doctor the actual first thing he did was ring me, out of the blue, and asked how I was, if I needed help, and offered to always be on hand if I needed to be remedicated or wanted to try alternatives if things got bad.

Why is that NOT the standard? Why is that the exception?

You see it online too, I rarely bring up my PTSD because the response I get is "Well I got over it why cant you" (There have been examples on this site and others in fact). All I can say to that is....great! You got over it and that's amazing. But I'm not you. Nor is the next person. Likewise you are not me, I don't expect the 6 month build up to the death of a loved one to only affect you for a fortnight like it does for me. We all deal with different things in different ways and people are so blind to the individuality of others.

What's more disgusting is the way workplaces handle this. My mother is now diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a pretty nasty illness with no concrete cause and most certainly no cure, just pain management. She now suffers from incredibly limited mobility on bad days and somewhat limited on good days, and even simple tasks can tire her out. Sometimes she cant even get up after sitting down. Add on top the constant pain around her body and it's obvious she isn't well.

But the response from her workplace? "Well you can walk cant you?". Her future sister in law? "I have it and I'm fine it's all in your head" (She doesn't have it, just wants to outdo everyone!). That attitude is so...dismissive of very real invisible illnesses that impact people in ways no one can really comprehend.

My own struggle with depression is life long and frankly will never end, because it never truly goes away. But when I was medicated for the first time on citalopram, it was the usual shtick. Few weeks to let it begin to work, may be a weird first week or two, then we adjust and develop a strategy further from there.

It cleared the depression just fine. What I didn't know is the absolutely crippling anxiety from years of bullying and social outcast status was underneath. Once I wasn't miserable, I became incredibly nervous, leading to breakdowns of relationships, work ethic, everything. But I didn't even know that was there and nor did anyone else until the depression holding it back was removed. But some medication changes later, it was sorted.

I haven't been medicated in about two years now, but this is the reality. Talking helps, getting support suited to YOU helps. Nowadays, I have bad days. I still have anxiety attacks. Sometimes I am miserable. But it's not as bad as it was before I got help. If it ever gets that bad again, I can get help again.

Even now with the reality that my life is on hold, and I'll end up unemployed and living off of carer support while I care for my mother does get me down, because there are things I want to do and I will need to make use of limited time to do it. Some days she wont need me most likely save for a few things, other days she absolutely will.

You just have to make the best of a situation and get help when you need it. It's such a shame that not just the UK but other countries are so taboo and dismissive of those with a mental illness, or even a physical illness that isn't immediately apparent. It does feel like being a second class citizen sometimes even though if we really looked at it, there's more of that second-class than there isn't!

Hi all

Just wanted to say hi as a newbie - joined today.

Congratulations! It's great to have a place to call your own. If you're like me you will definitely miss property maintenance being someone else's problem!

@Ayeffen Welcome aboard! I'm judging from the avatar that we've just added another Trekkie to our ranks. Apologies to everybody else; we get around!

@YummyHappyPills Wow, you got real lucky with that GP who called to ask how you were. All of your other points are spot-on, particularly about individuality and the lack of a "one-size-fits-all" treatment for mental health. There never can be but, because everything in society is constructed to categorise and deal with large chunks of people at once, I fear there never will be anything that's fully effective. Education will be the key. There has been greater public awareness and understanding of mental health in recent years, but it's baby steps, and any programme can suddenly have funding cut and it all goes away. People forget what isn't in the news for a couple days.

I've steered clear of medication personally, by choice. It's been insanely difficult at times, but I simply don't trust chemical treatments to alter my mood when my mood is so fluid and unpredictable to begin with. I also fear that my anxiety is greater than my depression and that, as you say, disrupting the balance could cause further, somewhat terrifying issues in the short term. Also also, I have an addictive personality and wouldn't want to develop a dependency (it's why I don't smoke or drink... narcotics are illegal so I've never understood why people usually add "or do drugs" to that list). In case it wasn't ridiculously obvious by now, I'm a talkative chap when I'm stable, so that's when I seek counselling and find ways to refine and reinforce my own mental defenses. The downside is that a single bad day can undo weeks of hard work, but hey; it's my brain, so it's just what I've got to live with.

I'm sorry to hear the further details about your mother. I hope everything's... well, I hope it's the best that it can be, and that escaping to post and chat here gives you strength.

@Ayeffen Welcome to the site !

@RogerRoger Thanks so much! Ah you noticed huh? Well RogerRoger lucky for you Star Wars is my first love!

It will remain Paul Stamets but I might upgrade it in a second. Is there an ideal dimension for the avatars on this site as not happy it's a bit blurry in both here and my profile.

@Fight_Teza_Fight Thanks!

@Ayeffen Do i see another Trek fan here?

anyway welcome to the site

@FullbringIchigo You certainly do! Thanks nice to be here

@Ayeffen Whisper it quietly, but I actually prefer Star Trek... I guess I was just in a Battle Droid kinda mood when I joined and solidified my profile here!

As such, I can't answer your question about avatar dimensions with any authority, I'm afraid, as I've always used animated files. I'd guess the bigger, the better.

@Ayeffen Welcome. That's a cool name by the way, where's it come from?

@Ayeffen Hi, and thanks! Ahh I manage other people's properties for a living so I live and breath bloody maintenance, for better or for worse!

@Ayeffen @RogerRoger i don't think there is a limit, no picture i ever used was rejected no matter the size

@kyleforrester87 congrats on the flat bro!

@RogerRoger Honestly with my mother its just day by day.

And I can only hope education helps in future. Its getting better but that doesn't mean its good.

@RogerRoger Fair enough! I take comfort in it being from the first Star Wars film I ever saw (not in order I know but I was only 8 or 9)

@Kidfried It's my initials spelt more phonetically, A F and N (i'll leave you guessing. )

@kyleforrester87 Oh well you know exactly what's involved then! I work for a building services contractor so again have a similar insight which has helped.

@FullbringIchigo Thanks - last forum I was on had a 100 x 100 limit so was prepared for that but will get cracking on a hi res one.

@Ayeffen I'll start calling you the Athletic Federation of Nigeria then!

@YummyHappyPills There's always room for improvement, and always a glimmer of hope... at least, that's what I keep telling myself. Here's to more good days than bad.

@Ayeffen That's okay; you saw the best one first. I was only eleven... good times...

Can we all have a guess? I put ten gees on "Alaskan Federation of Natives".

@Ayeffen @RogerRoger are you talking about Episode 1, that was my first Star Wars film because i was old enough to pay to see it myself and as i lived with parents that don't like Star Wars it wasn't until after Episode One that i got to see the Original Trilogy

and i'm sorry if people don't like this but i still think the Prequels were better films even though the OT is awesome too

@FullbringIchigo I've said it before, I'll say it again... are you quite sure you're not my clone?!

Whilst I did see the original trilogy first, thanks to the 1997 Special Editions and a weekend Dad who likes the cinema, I much prefer the prequels.

@RogerRoger depends on who is the oldest ^_^

@RogerRoger @FullbringIchigo Haha guys I think I am with you! The prequel trilogy was the set of characters I grew up with. The way the Jedi were portrayed made me want to explore it all further, the games and expanded universe. Have you guys ever played Jedi Knight on PC?