The glorious return of our PlayStation Lord and Saviour Knack is almost upon us. If you have not yet welcomed the greatest hero of our age into your life, then worry not, as you still have time to atone for your ignorance. How, you ask? Well for starters, you can follow the instructions that we've laid bare below. Complete each of these tasks and you shall feel the cold, pointy embrace of Lord Knack.
Erect your shrine to Lord Knack
First thing's first: you'll need to construct a place of worship. Build a shrine that honours Lord Knack and all that he stands for. Much like our Lord, the shrine itself can be big or small, but it must be angular in shape and free of the colour green, for green is the colour of the goblin.
Each and every day, remember to print out and place high scoring reviews of the first Knack video game at the foot of your shrine. Anything below a 7 will not suffice.
Praise The Creator
Although Lord Knack is our only true hero and saviour, we must not forget to praise The Creator. Also known as Mark Cerny, The Creator was the first mortal to give the gift of Lord Knack to mankind. The righteous see The Creator as Lord Knack's prophet, while heathens see him as that guy who designed the PlayStation 4.
Tape LEGO bricks to yourself
Cast aside your weak body of flesh and blood by coating it with angular objects. In most cases, we have found that LEGO bricks get the job done quite well. The more rounded edges of Mega Bloks bricks are an affront to Lord Knack.
Attach these bricks with tape, glue, or the sweat of your devotion - it matters not. Learn to accept the pain that their corners bring as they dig into your soft bits, and recreate the loneliness of Lord Knack as your loved ones attempt to avoid physical contact.
Relive Lord Knack's original pilgrimage
In order to prepare to the second coming of Lord Knack, it's good practice to relive his initial outing. Shunned by many a foolish gamer, unable to comprehend its true majesty, Knack tells the origin story of this era's greatest hero.
Many joke about Knack's continued absence on PlayStation Plus, but only heathens would accept such a masterpiece for free. Unequalled in its brilliance and genius, those who have not joined Lord Knack on his original pilgrimage shall not be welcomed at his side when The Knackening is upon us.
Speak only in an uncharacteristically deep voice
Lord Knack is known for his deep and commanding voice, which rattles through the bones of those who would besmirch his name. For they fear the voice of our righteous saviour, even when Lord Knack has blessed us with his smaller form, standing at around two feet.
Lord Knack teaches us that size does not matter. Whatever your stature, lower your voice and boom at your enemies - those who would dare suggest that Knack is a 6/10 experience. Let them be torn asunder by the deep bellows of justice.
Seek out your local Cult of Knack
There are some who would lie and say that Knack was a flop and that our Lord is a running joke, but they refuse to see the truth that lies all around them. Studies show that 1 in every 643 adults are actually devout followers of Lord Knack, and as such, you should seek out your local Cult of Knack.
To do so, keep an eye out for discarded LEGO bricks in public places. If these bricks were purposefully dropped by a Priest of Knack and not by some idiot child, you should be able to follow the trail, brick by brick, to the local Church of Knack.
Within the Church of Knack, you will meet fellow Knackers, and together, you will play co-op in Knack 2 when the fated day arrives.
Feast only on angled cheese and Toblerone
To ready your body and soul for the second coming of Lord Knack, you must eat only of the angled. Cut the finest of cheeses into triangular blocks and feast regularly. Supplement your angled cheese diet with the occasional bar of Toblerone, in all of its pointed glory.
Are you yet to feel the cold, pointy embrace of Lord Knack? Commune with your fellow Knackers in the comments section below.