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Who Would Win Wednesdays: Patapon Army vs. Third Colossus Gaius

Posted by Robert Ramsey

Round 19

The E3 rush is finally over, and so it's time for another instalment of Who Would Win Wednesdays, a feature where we take two PlayStation personalities and imagine them kicking the snot out of each other. The week before the biggest event in gaming, we hosted a fight between raspy voiced generic protagonist Aiden Pearce and gritty gunman Max Payne. Perhaps surprisingly, given that Watch Dogs was all the rage prior to the brawl, sweaty old Max made it out of the tussle in one piece, but who will emerge victorious from today's rather crazy match up? As always, only you can decide by voting in our poll.

Patapon Army

Proving that unity and catchy beats can overcome any obstacle, the Patapon army is a force to be reckoned with. Their weaponry may be a little primitive, but the strange little creatures are more than capable of taking down enemies of epic proportions. Hurling spears and twanging bows, PlayStation's cutest militia is a threat at range, but they're just as deadly when they surround their enemies and smack them with a plethora of sharp objects as well. As mentioned, there isn't much that can stop the Patapon march, but they do have one weakness: they need to battle to a beat. Without a solid rhythm, the 2D warriors have trouble keeping up their offensive momentum, but if they're subject to some dangerously good drumming, be prepared for some Earth-shattering destruction.

Third Colossus Gaius

One of the most iconic opponents in the PlayStation 2's beloved Shadow of the Colossus, Gaius is one of the game's tallest giants. While it isn't the quickest warrior in the PlayStation universe, it more than makes up for its sluggish movement with its incredible strength. Not many would survive a direct swing from its blunt blade, or even a brute force stomp from its feet. Of course, being a Colossus, Gaius has its fair share of weaknesses, most notably the weak points dotted around its person which spew black blood when penetrated. Alas, to get to them, the giant's adversary will need to complete a dangerous climb across its rough body. Needless to say, doing so is a lot easier said than done, especially when Gaius is busy shaking itself like a wet dog.

It's a case of David versus Goliath, but is music enough to overcome such a beast? Vote for your winner in our poll, and tell us how you think that the battle would unfold in the comments section below.

Who do you think would win this Wednesday? (22 votes)

Patapon Army


Third Colossus Gaius


Please login to vote in this poll.

[ Thanks to LordBagardo for the header image ]

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User Comments (12)



Swiket said:

Depends on whether or not they're playing Shadow of the Colossus on Time Attack Mode.



charlesnarles said:

I vote Patapon cause SotC giants have a rhythm to their movements. Aw, I gotta go get my Vita and pon-pon-pata-pon



ThreadShadow said:

This is a fun match-up, but I don't know who to vote for. Thanks for reminding me how cool SotC is though!



Jo_Jo718 said:

The Patapon army stand no chance against him during his hard time attack!

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