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Bloody Dynasty Warriors 9. What a bitter disappointment that turned out to be. Now that I've had time to reflect on Koei Tecmo's latest and my own review of the game (which you can read through here), I've come to the conclusion that I've had my heart broken by a video game, and I'm still coming to terms with it.

Now look, I'm not going to pretend that being disappointed with a game is a big deal, but Dynasty Warriors has been a staple of my gaming life since I was a clueless little kid. I have fond memories of spending hundreds of hours playing through Dynasty Warriors 3, 4, and 5, often in co-op with my brother. Such heady days.

As I got older, Dynasty Warriors became something of a comfort food, and when I started writing about video games professionally, I was given the opportunity to express my adoration for a largely misunderstood franchise. I've reviewed a whole bunch of Warriors titles for Push Square over the last several years -- mostly because no one else gives a sh*t -- and I've always tried my best to express what it is they do well.

There's the satisfaction of mowing down hundreds of enemies with just a few attacks, the spectacle of seeing whole armies flood the screen. There's even the act of taking historical figures and turning them into completely over-the-top demigods. Warriors games aren't for everyone, but those of you who have enjoyed even just one or two titles over the years will know where I'm coming from.

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And then there's Dynasty Warriors 9. The game's much discussed move to an open world format had seemed iffy to me from the very start, but I was willing to give it a try. When the review code landed, I'll admit I was pretty excited. After all, Dynasty Warriors had been missing in action for a good few years, and I was more than ready to dive right back into ancient China and start smashing skulls once again.

My first couple of hours with Dynasty Warriors 9 left me bemused. I find that reviewing games is, for the most part, pretty straight forward. I can usually play a game for maybe two or three hours and have a reasonably clear idea of how much I'm going to like it. There are exceptions to that rule, of course, but this was a Dynasty Warriors game -- I knew what I was getting into as soon as it was announced. 

Or at least, I thought I did. Like I say, that first session was like sneezing and farting at the same time -- you don't really want to go through it again, but you're still kind of curious as to what the hell just happened. In hindsight, it's clear that I was left dumbfounded by how terrible Dynasty Warriors 9 initially seemed. It looked like a PS3 game, the open world seemed like a totally unfinished tech demo for something much more, and they'd replaced every English character voice that'd I'd grown up with.

Needless to say, it took time for me to really wrap my head around what I was playing. As I sunk in a few more hours, things did start to click. I started to understand the structure a bit more, and, dare I say it, I started to enjoy myself. But it was this weird kind of enjoyment -- a feeling that I've never really come across when playing a game for review. Like I was almost forcing myself to have fun -- like I was obliged to have fun purely because I'm a fan of Dynasty Warriors.

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Every franchise, big or small, has its supporters. Dynasty Warriors has always had a relatively limited but loyal fanbase outside of Japan, and it's these people who have taken it upon themselves to champion the series. I should know because I'm one of them, but Dynasty Warriors 9 wouldn't let me remain positive for long. Like I wrote in my review, it's a game of extreme ups and downs. I loved charging into battle with an entire army by my side, and I really enjoyed some of the smaller story moments and cutscenes. But for everything it gets right, Dynasty Warriors 9 gets something else completely wrong.

And I think that's the real gut punch. I was taking those moments of enjoyment and I was using them to cover up the game's many, many flaws. It got to a point where I just couldn't do it anymore -- the fanboy glasses finally came off when an enemy officer clipped through a wall and sent the frame rate down into the pits of hell. I distinctly remember muttering "nah, this is f*cking sh*te" under my breath.

Watching something that you really want to like fall apart before your very eyes is difficult. It's like sexting someone only for them to write "your" when it should be "you're". You know the jig's up, even though you want to keep going.


Has a game ever left you heart broken? Pour one out for Ramsey, and then tell us your own tales of woe in the comments section below.