Topic: User Impressions/Reviews Thread

@Ralizah I go through many series from start to finish now as I really enjoyed doing that with Assassin’s Creed and Tekken. It definitely gives you an interesting perspective.

@Ralizah @nessisonett I've actually been doing that for a long time now, to a point where it's become an obsession of mine to play through games in release order. Otherwise I wouldn't feel comfortable playing through them. At the moment I'm going through the RE titles in order and you have no idea how amazing it was to play through the PS1 trilogy and then play RE0. I came to appreciate certain aspects of that game a lot more compared to when I started out with REmake last year (no tank controls, better graphics, better voice acting and so on). I seriously can't wait to play RE4 now.

@RogerRoger Cheers mate! Yeah, and I feel like it's the same thing with Sonic games as those always deliver a killer soundtrack while not always delivering the best gameplay. I think that's why a lot of people still think fondly of Sonic 06 due to the phenomenal music even though the rest of the game wasn't that great. I think it's important to really cover all aspects of a game in order to make it as memorable as possible. Music after all is a great way to remember things and so I think it's just as important as the other aspects of a game.

@LtSarge Yep, the "most music I've ever embedded in a review" award still belongs to Sonic '06, and I think it always will. What a phenomenal soundtrack, and a great example of how music can totally transform the most mediocre of moments into memorable ones.

Just finished Red Steel 2 on Wii. This was one of the most engaging experiences I've had on the Wii of all the games I've played and it shouldn't come as a surprise considering it's one of the few Wii games that utilised the Wii MotionPlus accessory.

The game is a first-person hack and slash game with shooting mechanics but just like in Skyward Sword, you have to be precise with your attacks in order to perform well. You swing with the Wii remote just like with a sword and the wider you swing, the more powerful your attacks will be. At first the enemies are very easy to defeat and this is mostly due to a combo you learn early on where you dash forward and stab them once and they're knocked down for a finisher. But later on, enemies will keep their guard up and just like in Skyward Sword, you need to attack them in the direction they're holding their sword in order to defeat them.

The enemy variety in general was very good and you'll encounter enemies that will have to be taken down in so many different ways, such as dashing around them and stabbing them in the back or causing a shockwave that will keep them down momentarily. Then you also have guns at your disposal, which I mostly used to take down the floating robot enemies. Although the shotgun and the machine gun were useful for a while against the tougher enemies when I didn't have many other options. But once I unlocked the last couple of special moves, I pretty much only used my katana for the remainder of the game since these moves were really powerful and useful.

As you can probably figure out, there really isn't much of a story in this game. You play as a "kusagari" who is the last one of their clan and you're out to seek revenge against the other clans for having killed everyone else in your clan. The setting of the game is basically a mix between the Wild West and Feudal Japan (i.e. samurais), hence why you carry both a katana and guns. You explore towns mostly in the desert and the buildings are inspired by Japanese architecture, such as shrines or even modern buildings with Japanese texts on them. Overall, I think this was a very interesting and unique setting for this game.

One aspect that I really liked is the progression system. You upgrade stuff with the money you find and you're constantly getting money throughout the game. You can get them by shooting floating sheriff stars, finding hidden tokens, breaking boxes, cracking safes, opening lockers, defeating enemies and so on. Then you have so many different options on how you can spend your money. You can get more armour and health, buy more guns, upgrade certain attributes of the guns, increase damage output of the guns, upgrade the damage output of your katana, increase the power of your abilities as well as buy special moves. For a game like this, there's more customisation than I thought. And in contrast to most other games, you can definitely feel the difference in the upgrades. For example, now that I have maxed out the damage output of my katana, I'm taking down the more difficult enemies much easier than before. It truly feels like I've grown stronger so to speak. Fully upgraded guns also help mow down groups of enemies that can guard against your katana attacks. And finally, unlocking the last special moves really help against tougher enemies by basically knocking them down in one hit, which is awesome.

I don't have much to say about the music because there wasn't any particular track that stood out to me. The music is pretty much standard affairs in terms of action games like this.

So all in all, this was truly an immense joy to play on the Wii because it's one of the few Wii games that actually utilised the motion controls of the Wii remote to its fullest potential. Most Wii games tend to only have waggle mechanics, but Red Steel 2 had great motion controls and they were actually responsive. I would say that this is the best game on the Wii in terms of accurate motion controls and engaging combat. I highly recommend playing it if you're looking for a refreshing experience amongst all these traditional games that come out today.

@LtSarge Sounds like a fun, arcade-like experience. I was never a fan of the Wii's reliance on motion controls, but certain games were elevated by fully leaning into them, and it sounds like this is an example of that phenomenon.

Have you played the first game?

@Ralizah Nope, never considered playing it because it wasn't that good apparently. It tried to incorporate accurate motion controls but it failed, which is why most people hold the sequel in much higher regard because that game actually managed to deliver. Although I'd lie if I said that I'm not at least curious to try it out. Maybe I'll check out a playthrough online and see how it plays.

Ninja Five-O (AKA Ninja Cop in PAL regions)
Platform: GBA
Time to Completion: 5 hours

Ninja Five-O is an action-platformer video game released by defunct developer Hudson Soft for the GBA in 2003. You play as Joe Osugi, a detective (and ninja, obviously) who has been sent in to infiltrate and dispose of terrorist cells that are committing crimes throughout the city while prioritizing the rescue of hostages held by them. Each area where a crime is occurring is headed by a Boss, a ninja that has been given supernatural powers by the Mad Masks they wear on their face.

Very little of this is explained in-game, by the way. Narrative in this game is limited to seconds long splash pages that use basic phrases to paint the scene, like "terrorists are robbing the bank!" or some such. Regardless, as you could probably tell from the previous synopsis, this game isn't exactly high art. It sounds like the plot to a schlock 80s action movie, and that turns out to be a... pretty good description of the vibe the game is going for. It's stereotypical, dumb, and entertaining, which is all a game like this really needs to be. It did well with critics, but was unfortunately cursed with poor sales, leading to a limited production run for the cartridges. That, combined with the game's rise in popularity years on as people rediscovered it via emulation, has made it one of the rarest and most valuable games on the system. Loose cartridges run hundreds of dollars, and you're looking at thousands if you want a copy with a box and manual.

Controlling your ninja is a fairly simple affair. For melee, Joe has access to a sword, which can be used to slash through enemies with the GBA's shoulder buttons. This attack is extremely powerful, but the extreme close range and animation time it requires leaves Joe exposed to enemy attacks, so it's only going to be your go-to when you've thoroughly learned the timing of enemy attack animations and can squeeze in an attack. More often than not, you'll be relying on shurikens to take out your enemies. While comparatively weak, these wonderful things can be used from afar to the heart's content, since he appears to possess a limitless number of them.

Your ranged attack will change as Joe finds energy boosters throughout the level that cause him to change color and become a more powerful ninja. By the time Joe has upgraded twice, his weak shurikens have been transformed into deadly lasers that immediately kill smaller enemies and significantly weaken stronger ones. Of course, this is balanced by the way Joe loses access to his power-ups when he takes damage. Functionally, it's similar to the way Mario will lose access to power-ups when he's damaged in his 2D games.

The signature mechanic in this game is your ninja's grappling hook, which you can extend or retract at any time and use to quickly scale the walls of the facilities you're infiltrating. I was actually really satisfied with it, as it strikes a nice balance between the simplicity and ease-of-use of the legendary Bionic Commando's influential grappling hook mechanic and the complex, physics-based movement of the fishing pole grappling found in the cult Japanese platformer series Umihara Kawase. It's easy to combine a swinging descent with a mid-air sword slash to quickly dispatch foes in more open areas, and, in general, this is one of those games were more skilled players can make the gameplay feel like poetry in motion. And it's a good thing the grappling isn't too difficult to control, since the level design will be putting you through the ringer by the end of the game.

The first couple of levels in the game are fairly conservatively designed, with a lot of room to swing around and experiment with the grappling hook. You'll start out at a bank, which is surprisingly vertical, forcing you to contend with wide spaces and enemies that are able to attack you from multiple elevations. But the actual amount of precision platforming required is pretty small. The enemies thrown at you from the start are pretty basic mooks who telegraph when they're going to fire their weapons. The hostages I mentioned need to be rescued from them, which requires proper timing, because if you attack the enemy at the wrong time, you'll kill the hostage instead and lose a ton of health when you do as a penalty, often leading to an instant death if you're not already at full health (the terrorists are hugging the hostages to their bodies and using them as human shields when not actively firing their guns at you). Over time, as you go on to progressively harder stages like the harbor, the airport, and the cave (before the insane final level, where every inch of it is filled with stuff trying to kill you), the game will gradually introduce more difficult enemy types (like other ninjas who will ambush you after materializing out of thin air, machine gun-toting baddies, or the particularly annoying flamethrower-wielding foes) as well as stage hazards like pits filled with spikes and areas that require grappling between walls in order to reach particularly inaccessible doors.

The level design in this game is interesting. Instead of a linear, point A to point B progression structure, each level is designed in a metroidvanian structure, and you'll have to explore and find keys through each level in order to unlock other doors with other keys until you rescue all of the hostages and gain access to the key that will allow you to leave the level. As befits a game structured around exploration, there are also multiple sections of each level which aren't required for completion, but which, when explored, will throw enemies and (oftentimes) extra resources your way. It's fun, and keeps the game feeling fresh when you inevitably die and have to play a level over again, because you learn the ideal way to quickly carve through each level by the time you've mastered it.

That is, by the way, something that deserves mention: while the game is often brutally difficult and forces you to start a level over from the beginning if you die, it balances this out by completely dispensing with anything like a life system. You get unlimited retries of each level, and the game never forces you to play through more than one level in a go without dying. It's tough, but not unfair.

You'll also face off against one of the Mad Mask ninja bosses at the end of each stage, although these encounters tend to be somewhat uninspired and are probably the worst parts of the game.

Once the game ends, you'll gain access to an unlockable hard difficulty and a challenge mode where you're tasked with doing time trial runs on each level. These are actually a lot of fun, because you're forced to memorize the layout of these stages and find unique ways to shave time off in order to reach the goal by the end. This shift from killing enemies and rescuing hostages to completing the levels as quickly as possible really makes your approach the game differently and helps you to appreciate the excellent level design.

Ninja Five-O is an easy recommendation if you're lucky enough to find a copy, already own one, or don't mind delving into the controversial world of video game emulation. Its small, metroidvanian levels are perfect for quick attempts when you have a few minutes to spare, and the game is action-packed enough that each run at a level is guaranteed to be good fun, regardless of how frustrating the circumstances behind your numerous deaths end up being. The only real criticism I have of this game is that much of the difficulty in the final level felt cheap, to the point where it started to feel like it was punishing the player for trying to finish the experience. But one questionable level shouldn't put you off an otherwise solid action-platformer that's perfect for portable play sessions. Solid 7.5/10. It's getting docked half a point for the music, which I've linked throughout, and am not a huge fan of.

@LtSarge Another great write-up there. I remember a lot of hype surrounding the Red Steel games back in the day (and it really must've been a lot, considering I didn't own a Wii) so it's good to hear that, at least in terms of the sequel, it paid off. Good ol' Wii MotionPlus, I guess! There was a golf game that my Dad got for his Wii which used it and, coming off the back of the golf included in Wii Sports, we were suddenly both terrible, so it certainly made all the difference. Anyway, glad you had fun!

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@Ralizah Cracking piece on Ninja Five-O, the topic's second dedicated GBA review, I believe? It sounds like a delightfully cheesy throwback of a game, even for 2003. The matter-of-fact way you discuss things like Joe's unlimited shuriken turning into lasers (?!) conveys an absurdity not often found outside arcade platformers of the late 80s and early 90s, and yet your comments about its level design and difficulty spike also remind me of a Spider-Man game on GBA which, alas, I had to abandon because I simply couldn't finish it. Must've been a trend for the console's platformers, perhaps? I'll have to look up some gameplay footage, as you've gotten me curious to see this in action! Great review!

@RogerRoger Oh yeah, the piece on Shin Megami Tensei would have been the first dedicated GBA game review, wouldn't it? There are actually a lot of GBA games I'd love to talk about on here. I'm hoping to get to the GBA Metroid games sooner than later, especially considering the new Metroid game releasing in a few days is the first mainline sequel we're getting in that series since Metroid Fusion on the GBA.

The subject matter is definitely a throwback to 80's action schlock. I think the GBA was probably the last handheld where we got a lot of very old-school games like this as commercial releases.

In general, the level design and difficulty was well considered, but yeah, that last level's difficulty didn't feel organic at all. Have you ever seen a poorly made Mario Maker level where the creator spams stage hazards and strong enemies as a substitute for actually good level design? That's what it feels like. Thankfully, I got through it after numerous attempts and, eventually, an unfortunately large amount of profanity!

That's a full playthrough in under an hour. This person makes it look easy as hell, lol.

Thanks for reading!

@Ralizah Great review! I've actually heard about Ninja Five-O from somewhere else. I don't know if it was from someone on the forums, a friend of mine or if I read it on some other site. I think it might've been the latter since you mentioned that it's a Metroidvania game and I used to look up top lists for that genre a lot some time ago and one site might've had that game in their list. Either way, I remember being curious to play this game since I'm not familiar with many older Metroidvania titles. It sounds like it could be good fun even if it's quite challenging. I don't have any way of playing it now, but maybe Nintendo will add it to Switch Online one day if GBA games are ever added. I'd definitely give it a go then!

@RogerRoger Yeah, it's unfortunate though that I wasn't part of that hype because I pretty much only bought Red Steel 2 because it came bundled with the Wii MotionPlus, which I wanted to have in preparation for Skyward Sword the following year. But yeah, I grew up with the Wii so I have a special fondness for games with motion controls even if most people don't like them. The Wii especially had so many different games and as you might already know, I love variety in games so that system resonates a lot with me. Games like Red Steel 2 are definitely what I need right now in a time when I've played so many games lately with the same basic formula.

@Ralizah Well, I can't lie, I was thinking of that Bond game I reviewed (he admitted sheepishly). All the hype for the forthcoming SMT V has me associating that franchise with the Switch more than anything but you're right, you did review its GBA original, and it briefly slipped my mind. So that makes this your second GBA review, and the topic's third overall. Apologies!

Will you wait on the new Metroid game 'til you can replay the whole series, then?

Oh my goodness, yes, those kinds of Mario Maker levels are nightmarishly impressive, at least in terms of spectacle (because you're right, they should never be called "good design"). And it's a great comparison, after checking out that playthrough. What the heck were they thinking?! Props to that player for making it up there with thirty seconds left to spare; if ever I manage to beat those kinds of levels, it's always when the timer's on zero and I've desperately flung myself at the objective in the last nanosecond. Whilst cursing at the top of my lungs because hey, whatever helps!

@LtSarge I do agree that the Wii is often dismissed as a one-trick pony but that, if you actually stop and look at its library of games, it was far more diverse and impressive than folks would have you believe. I regret not directly owning one for myself, even though the exclusive games that would've drawn me at the time have subsequently shown up elsewhere, and usually with improvements.

@LtSarge Thanks! I don't have high hopes for it being reprinted or being official redistributed, unfortunately, seeing as how the developer tanked and the publisher, Konami, can't really be counted on for anything good anymore. If you ever get the opportunity to play it, though, it's worth your time. Great mix of arcade and metroidvanian game design.

While I go out of my way to support the industry as much as I can, this sort of game is one reason why I hope the emulation scene online stays healthy. There are so many minor classics that would have been lost to time otherwise.

@RogerRoger 😂 I forgot you specifically reviewed the GBA version of Everything or Nothing. Kinda similarly, I'm just used to the James Bond games you talk about being Playstation or PC versions.

This is an interesting subject, though. When I update the directory again, I might include stats on which systems have enjoyed the most reviews for their games.

I'm actually kinda torn on whether I'm going to replay the other 2D Metroid games before tackling Dread. I'll probably just play Dread and then save a full series replay for a later date.

Yeah, that escape sequence sucked. 1.5 minutes, and you have to dodge environmental hazards, engage in expert platforming, etc. At least I could take my time with the rest of the level. You'll understand why I heaved a heavy sign of relief when I finally got through it!

@Ralizah Ah, great minds sink alike.

That'd make for some interesting number-crunching, for sure! You'd expect it to be PlayStation, given the fact that we're on a PlayStation forum, but considering the folks who've contributed the most to the topic over the years (because yes, it's nearly been two years since you started this!) I reckon some other consoles might end up giving Sony hardware a run for its money.

So I take it you've played all the Metroid games before, then? At least you won't be going into the new game devoid of context. I hope it turns out well, and that you enjoy it!

A heavy sigh of relief is the least I'd have done to celebrate surviving that level!

@RogerRoger I've been really happy with the growth of this thread so far! And yeah, with 90% of the stuff I play being on Switch, I could see that swinging the numbers toward Ninty's system. Although, eventually, I'd like to have a nice spread of reviews across multiple platforms. The only real non-entity in terms of living platforms being represented is Xbox, but I just don't see a world where that's going to be changing for me, personally.

For my part, I should have at least two PS4 reviews coming before the end of the year, in addition to Nintendo stuff.

I've played all of the mainline handheld games (some of them multiple times), but have slacked on the spinoffs stuck on consoles like Other M and the second and third Prime games.

@Ralizah I think you're right, especially with the most popular console combination being a Switch "and something else" and this being a PlayStation forum an' all. Which is a shame, as I wouldn't mind reading user reviews of some Xbox exclusives. You never know, though!

Well, spoiler alert, but I'm guessing one of those will be God of War, right...?

I'm guessing Metroid isn't a particularly story-intensive series, at least in 2D form. I may be wrong about that, though, so I hope you don't miss any nods or references in Dread.

Platform: PC, PS4 (version played), Switch and Xbox
Release Date: September 2021

***

I've been waiting a long time for this.

Eleven years, to be exact. The original, full fat version of Sonic Colours launched exclusively for the Wii back in 2010. It also appeared on NDS but there, it'd been handled by the developer responsible for the much-loved Sonic Rush games, and therefore felt more like a sequel to those 2D adventures than anything else. I've played that version many times over the years, but Colours proper? Played some of it once, about eight years ago whilst visiting a friend.

After getting Sonic Lost World on PC last year, Colours became the last remaining gap in my collection of Sonic's mainline outings; the key difference being that Lost World has always been kinda hated, whereas Colours was, and still is, held up as one of the series' highlights. Because of this disparity, I always felt like I was missing out... and so you can imagine my excitement when, back in May, a full remaster was announced, coming to a console that I actually own this time. Cut to a few weeks before its release date, and my pre-ordered physical copy (along with all physical copies across the entire EMEA region) is delayed "indefinitely" due to "supply chain issues" apparently unforeseen by SEGA.

It should've been a sign. Colours might've been a great game over a decade ago, but the steady march of time hasn't done it any favours. Neither have Blind Squirrel Entertainment, the developer responsible for one of the shoddiest remasters I've ever encountered.

"Please feel free to fill out a brief survey after your visit. Your opinions matter to us. Unless you didn't have fun. Then we don't care."

Upon booting the game up, you're thrown straight into its first couple of acts without preamble. Clear them, and you'll discover that Sonic is aboard a giant space station which is tethering captured planets together to create Dr. Eggman's Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park. The whole thing is cover for an evil scheme, of course, as Eggman attempts to harvest the energy from some cute-but-powerful alien beings called Wisps. With a little help from Tails, Sonic vows to save the Wisps and, in turn, they help him by becoming temporary in-game ability boosts which function similar to Mario's various suits. Collect the right Wisp and, at the tap of a button, you can transform Sonic into a laser beam, a drill, a ghost, a frenzied monster that eats everything in sight, or several other tools to assist your platforming progression.

The adventure itself is okay enough. Colours introduced new scriptwriters to give Sonic, Tails and particularly Eggman much more comedic material than they've ever had before, with the story's tone aiming for (and mostly hitting) the ballpark of a Saturday morning cartoon. Eggman remains a constant presence on the amusement park's PA system, dishing out hilarious parody announcements about various rides and park policies. I'm using my favourite examples here to subtitle my screenshots.

So it's all a bunch of inoffensive fluff, for the most part. What can be offensive at worst, but just feels lazy at best, is the quality of the remaster. Colours was already recognised as one of the best-looking games on the Wii, so how is it that more modern hardware makes it look worse? Why is the lighting so dull and dark (in a game literally called Colours, of all things)? Why do most of the transparent effects flicker in and out of existence? Why are so many nice environmental touches, like lens flare, missing? Why haven't any of the massive background textures been updated?

"In space, nobody can hear you scream. Except for the person sitting next to you, so please be considerate of others. Nobody likes a screamer."

At least, by playing the PS4 version on a PS5 via backwards compatibility, I forced the in-game framerate to remain stable throughout. According to reports, Colours Ultimate suffers from noticeable performance issues on every other console. Even a PS4 Pro will drop frames and stutter on occasion, whereas I wish anybody embarking on the Switch port the very best of luck, as they endure its minute-long loading times and frequent framerate freak-outs. Please don't misconstrue this point as a comment for or against any particular platform; if I'm still noticing geometry pop-in and missing textures on my overpowered hardware, then it's clearly the fault of the game's underlying code. A week after launch, there was a quick patch to fix a life-threatening, seizure-inducing visual glitch, but otherwise? Here we are, a month down the line, with nothing but promises to try and address an abundance of bugs.

I'd have a little more faith in those promises if Blind Squirrel Entertainment hadn't clearly cut so many other corners during development. They were apparently a support studio for Mass Effect: Legendary Edition but, if you compare the phenomenal quality of that remaster with Colours Ultimate, it's almost laughable to think that they had any hand in its success.

Trailers for Colours Ultimate promised 4K visuals but trust me, they're not. During gameplay, the resolution gets pretty close, but objects still sport rough, pixelated edges. The cutscenes are the worst, though. Most are supposed to be rendered in real-time but instead, to save time, they've been imported as compressed movie files from the Wii original and apparently "upscaled" although, beyond mention of a dedicated cutscene upscaling team in the game's credits, there's little evidence to suggest that anything's been done to them. They're an unsightly, blurry mess, even worse than those I found in the PC port of Lost World. I mean, I've seen amateurs on YouTube get better results. I had to chuckle because, when you go back and try to re-watch them, they're locked to a small window in the options menu, shrinking them to a resolution more suited to their quality. Not sure why I found that so amusing, but I did.

"Attention, ladies and gentlemen! Please make your way over to the main viewing area, where the Lightspeed Electrical Parade is about to begi... oh, and that concludes the Lightspeed Electrical Parade."

All savagery aside, the developers have applied a degree of effort to a few new gameplay additions here and there and, for the most part, they're okay. In a rather sweet callback to Sonic's pair of oft-overlooked PSP exclusives, you can unlock six tough rival races against Metal Sonic, blasting through certain levels in an effort to reach the goal before he does. The classic extra life system has been replaced by a combination of unlimited checkpoint restarts for injury deaths, and collectible "Tails Saves" for falls, whereby Tails will pick you up and drop you back to wherever you fell from (although this latter mechanic is also particularly glitchy, often breaking the game's fixed camera and forcing you to restart the level anyway). Following on from the character creation element featured in Sonic Forces, you can also customise Sonic with dozens of unlockable gloves, shoes, boost effects and auras. Naturally it's all just a bunch of gaudy eyesores but hey, a trend is a trend, right?

Actually, I tell a lie. There is one customisation option which looks really decent; it's the glowing blue spines and crackling electrical boost from last year's Sonic movie. The problem is, it was a digital pre-order incentive that'll otherwise cost you £4 to download. Which brings us to the disaster that is the Colours Ultimate remixed soundtrack because again, if you didn't pre-order a digital version of the game, you have to buy some of its tracks in another, separate £4 DLC pack. Yes, really.

Specifically, it's the three Planet Wisp tracks and, thankfully, they're the worst of a bad bunch. Any tune which previously packed a punch has been cruelly suppressed by an indistinguishable mess of shrill electronic muzak and samey overdriven guitar licks. A small handful of tracks which never had any punch to begin with do escape unscathed, with an increased tempo and more layers doing them justice (if not improving them in any meaningful way) but, broadly speaking, the new soundtrack is still a crushing disappointment more often than it's not. A direct comparison is unavoidable, because the original music is preserved to accompany the fourth, fifth and sixth acts of each level, a decision I found both gratifying and infuriating in equal measure as I was constantly reminded of how superb the soundtrack used to be. And that was before I reached the credits and listened to one of the most wholesome songs of all time, 'Speak With Your Heart', suffer the indignity of having its instrumentation performed by a dial-up modem.

Well, I suppose it could've been worse. They could've replaced the piano in Aquarium Park with an electronic kazoo or something. Guess I should be thankful for small mercies.

Aquarium Park is actually where I found myself having the most fun. It's a vibrant mixture of Japanese architecture and underwater environments, slowing things to a graceful pace whilst Sonic is submerged and yet still allowing him moments of blistering speed when back on dry land. The balance is just right, which is rare for a gimmick level, and it makes the best use of its Wisps, with rockets to help you break for the surface in a pinch and the drill propelling you forward in a cloud of bubbles. It's also nowhere near as panic-inducing as Sonic's other water-based outings, mostly thanks to the fact that, for the first time ever, you can kinda make Sonic "swim" by spamming the jump button. Linger underwater for too long and you'll still get to hear that drowning music kick in, but it never feels unfair and you're never too far from one of several lifelines. It's a thoroughly enjoyable place to explore.

"The mighty ocean! Cradle of life! Trivialised for your amusement by Eggman Industries!"

And that's why this review is a couple days later than I'd hoped, because my experience in Aquarium Park made me realise that I'd been briefly blinded by a bad remaster. I wanted to stop and give proper consideration to the actual game at its rushed, poorly presented core... well, that, and I had to start the whole thing over. You're asked at the beginning whether you want hints and warning signs on or off, and I opted for on because hey, new game an' all. When I saw how obtrusive they were, inescapably pausing the action at several key points, I figured that I'd carry on for a bit, get the main thrust of the game, and turn 'em off later but no, there's no option to deactivate or reactivate them once you're underway. Nor is there the option to make separate save files (unlike back on the Wii) so starting over means overwriting all of your progress.

Which is annoying, but isn't much of a roadblock, as Colours is (and always was) a ridiculously short affair. There's an endurance mode in which you play through the entire game in one continuous run, and I decided to give it a shot the other day. I screwed up a couple times and even had to replay one act and yet, when all was said and done, my total time still clocked in well under ninety minutes. Add twenty-ish minutes of cutscenes, half an hour of interactive credits, and the bizarre, minimalist Sonic Simulator stuff, and you can maybe double that figure. The unlockable Wisps, hidden Red Rings and S-Rank trophies do lend levels a high degree of replayability but, if you're not enamoured with the basic gameplay or the Sonic series in general, these won't be enough to hold your attention much beyond a weekend. You'll notice the fact that, despite being brief, some acts still duplicate large chunks of geometry to pad themselves out, and you'll invariably roll your eyes when a trio of boss battles get recycled on the cheap.

Even for me, a veteran of the Blue Blur's thirty-year history, there's a lot about Colours which causes some unnecessary frustration. It introduces a double-jump for Sonic, but this shares its input with his homing attack, which is automatically triggered whenever you're in range of an enemy. Too often I tried to carefully hop around some baddies, in order to explore an alternate route, and ended up smashing them to pieces instead, left stuck on their path amidst the resulting debris. Sonic Unleashed managed to map the homing attack to another button, and it had no good reason to, so why can't Colours (which was released two years later)?

Perhaps that's an oversight on Blind Squirrel Entertainment's part; the original game had to limit its inputs in order to work with the Wii Remote, after all. Which brings me back to complaining about this lacklustre remaster more than anything else. This might be a weird point to make but, after completing Colours Ultimate, I felt like I'd played a Wii game. Surely that defeats the whole point of a remaster? After seeing what Mass Effect managed earlier in the year, and knowing that these exact same developers helped set that benchmark, and after having to wait an extra month and still not getting to play a finished game at the end of it, you can perhaps forgive me for making this review so negative.

I guess this is what it looks like when eleven years of supersonic anticipation crashes headlong into a poor product. Maybe a patch will come along and address some of the most glaring issues, but it won't fix everything. It can't. Not now.

One final announcement from Eggman and I'll wrap this up.

"Please be aware that this ride is not safe for children under twelve. Or over thirteen. It is also not safe for thirteen-year-olds."

That's my recommendation. Colours deserves to shine far brighter than this.

@RogerRoger Fantastic review, Rog. A great read, and it sounds like unfortunately it’s a more enjoyable read that the game was to play. It’s a shame really. I know how much you were looking forward to this game.

@RogerRoger Great write-up mate. Too bad that you didn't find this version that enjoyable, although it sounds to me like you had issues with the gameplay in general and these issues were present in the original Wii version as well, such as the double-jumping being mapped to the same button. Not to mention that platforming in 2D levels could prove troublesome when double jumping at the wrong time. I guess the experience will be different to everyone, some may be lucky to not run into these issues while others will be less fortunate.

It really is annoying when even the best Sonic games are not being received well today due to the developer not putting enough effort into the games. It feels like this series is cursed to constantly deliver poor titles, either because they have technical issues or because the gameplay just doesn't sit well with the player. Really hope the next Sonic game turns out good.

@Th3solution @LtSarge Thanks for reading, friends! This really is the poor remaster's fault. Given proper care and attention, I might've been able to overlook the original sins of Colours because hey, it's over a decade old, and Sonic games are rarely perfect, but... no, just shoving it out in this state is inexcusable. It's a shame because in recent years, Sonic Mania, Sonic Forces and Team Sonic Racing launched in really great shape and so, despite that older historical reputation for bugs and glitches, I had started to expect a baseline level of quality from the franchise. I am so freakin' done with games turning up broken and getting finished whilst early adopters beta test them for free. It's insidious.

Anyway, that's the fault of SEGA for palming this project off on an inexperienced developer whilst everybody at Sonic Team works on next year's brand new Sonic Rangers, which sounds promising, at least. In the meantime, I'll keep playing Colours Ultimate for its platinum, because it's Sonic and I'm me, but I can't pretend that it hasn't been a huge letdown.