@Foxy-Goddess-Scotchy Since you seemed to enjoy it, I decided to post the full thing. Edited it into the part of the post where the snippet originally was. I won't leave it up forever, but I am curious of your thoughts in the context of the full piece.
Anyway, I wrote it after a meditation session. It was originally more of a vignette, but I changed it to actually encompass a narrative of sorts. I'm a through-and-through physicalist, but I wanted to do a thought experiment about what it might be like to maintain a sense of consciousness after death.
I think it's very well done and for a thought experiment & short story/narrative you accomplished what you set out to do quite well @Ralizah , especially with your more thought provoking style
I do quite like that paragraph you showed me first the best if I were to judge them all seperately
... Also the Hello Meatbag at the beginning reminded me of Bender from Futurama and I may have read it with that voice in my head just a little 😅
@Foxy-Goddess-Scotchy Thanks! It's actually my favorite section of the piece as well, which is why it's the part I posted initially.
I do dialogue reasonably well, I think, and monologues, which is all this really is, but my weakness tends to be the area you seem to do well in: descriptions. I don't particularly care about evoking a sense of place or a mental image of a character. For me, the strength of literature is its ability to wrestle with complex ideas. Otherwise, I think painting and cinema are better mediums for exploring imagery and/or tapping the emotions. I also think gaming has an important role to play insofar as it allows you to create art that interacts with the player. In that sense, it's a bit more like an evolving and dynamic art form such as improv comedy or interactive theater as opposed to something static like cinema or literature.
At the same time, all art should be entertaining and/or engaging, and navel-gazing doesn't exactly lean into those areas for most people, so a balance has to be struck.
Anyway, thanks for the impressions. In terms of the tone, I probably had Notes from Underground in the back of my mind, but I can totally see Bender saying some of this stuff as well.
Honestly watching the D&D show Critical Role helped a lot for my descriptions @Ralizah . Matt Mercer is a pretty damn good DM and has some wonderfully vivid imagery that inspired me to just get better
And as you said yourself... Just practice.
The rp i'm in has gone on for a year and I'm better now then I was then... The Ox piece for example is actually a part of a set of 7 that introduced 4 new characters, 2 older characters got vastly updated descriptions and there was a giant 50ft monster too.
Took me a day to do it all but I was pretty chuffed by the end of it
@Foxy-Goddess-Scotchy There's no more satisfying feeling in the world than sitting down and just pounding out something complete.
But yeah, the past year or so I've been experimenting with flash fiction, as I find it to be incredibly hard to write fiction that short well... which means working on it is good practice.
I might try my hand at descriptions, too. Even if I never end up adopting a descriptive writing style in general, it's good to confront one's weaknesses.
But yeah, the past year or so I've been experimenting with flash fiction, as I find it to be incredibly hard to write fiction that short well... which means working on it is good practice.
I might try my hand at descriptions, too. Even if I never end up adopting a descriptive writing style in general, it's good to confront one's weaknesses.
When I was at university, my flatmates and I used to set each other Weekly Writing Challenges. Each one of us would take it in turn to set a rule ("must open with this line" or "must be this genre") on a Monday and we'd play with it in our spare time, getting together on the Sunday evening to read out one another's work and collectively discuss it.
Sounds way more academic than it was. We mostly tried to make one another laugh. My proudest accomplishment was a crossover between 24 and Sonic the Hedgehog.
But it was useful for pushing us outside of our comfort zones, too (one guy wasn't even a writer, and he came up with some of the best stuff). For me, I was so focused writing fan fiction that suddenly having to write "contemporary romance" one week, even for just a couple pages, was a really helpful exercise.
Not that I think you need the help, of course. Your piece was a fantastic read.
"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."
@Ralizah Hey, that passage is very introspective stuff. I really like it. I’m a little contemplative now after reading it, but that’s a good thing. I think that’s why you were going for. Thanks for sharing!
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
Oooph been a while since this topic was brought up! Suppose that's my fault since I made it after all 😅
I'm still writing/rping daily with my pal on another website.
In fact we finally got past the training/1st arc.
We finished the arc on the first of November... We started on August the 1st... LAST year! Took the two of us 15,031 posts over 15 months. I foolishly thought it'd take maybe two months max...
... Least I had plenty of time to come with a bunch of lore and events though! 😂
S'going pretty good though now! Unfoetunately I don't have a nice new descriptive post to share... But maybe in the future,
I will finally get to write as a villain soon... Looking forward to that...
Of course I'm not bringing this topic up just to self congratulate myself!
Firstly... I'm going to try (Emphasising try on the strongest of terms) adapting and writing our rp into a story format.
Might go horribly, might go great.
Who knows but writing the forum reviews has been great (even if a completely different format) and made me want to dabble even more in writing and really get stuck in the creative asoect that my reviews have lacked.
Going to take it at a VERY lesiurely pace though...
But the second reason I bring this topic up is I'm going to dabble writing out of my fantasy comfort zone too... Specifically I'm teaming up with @themcnoisy in Dreams!
We'll be forming NoisyFox productions or something I guess
I'll be attempting to provide Noisy with a story that he'll then translate and make into his latest creation in dreams of a sci-fi tale
Again it could go poorly, could go great. Might even end up asking for some assistance from you @RogerRoger!
I fancied pushing myself out my comfort zone a little and I can easily work on it in my spare time as I'll only be providing the story.
Plus thanks to writing apps on my phone (That I always have with me) it is very easy for me to put down an idea or three or work on a bit during my lunch break...
... All the reviews I write are done via mobile after all (...Yes I'm a madwoman)
@themcnoisy feel free to tell me here what you're after for this venture of ours! basic outline, how many characters etc... And I'll get to work on it!
Previously known as Foxy-Goddess-Scotchy
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"You don't have to save the world to find meaning in life. Sometimes all you need is something simple, like someone to take care of"
OK so a love story set aboard a ship which has just come out of hyperdrive and was sent off course 14 months from its destination. They can't space jump anymore so the systems for cryosleep won't function for everyone due to nature of the craft (approximately only a quarter of the staff can cryo sleep whilst in this mode of travel). The couple fall in love in the first quarter of this journey having not known each other prior whilst fixing up various systems and having to team up. The first major obstacles can be that one of them is due for their turn in cryo at x point in the story, an object hits the ship putting the whole crew into alert so they are split up that way, x partner arrives on a rescue vessel etc etc.
It's going to be a visual novel. I will set it up after Death Stranding.
There won't be any branching story lines yet, whilst we set up but leave the story open so we can have some choices added further down the line!!
PS3 Megathread 2019: The Last of Us
Multiplat 2018: Horizon Zero Dawn
Nintendo 2017: Super Mario Bros 3
Playstation 2016: Uncharted 2
Multiplat 2015: Final Fantasy 7
Looking forward to seeing / hearing how this all goes, and let me know if there's anything I can do to help out. Always around to unleash some paragraphs if needed.
"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."
@RogerRoger I'm unsure how au fait you are with visual novels. Usually the backgrounds are static to showcase where they are with the characters interacting on either side with occasional focus on an object or control with the writing underneath.
Initially my main aim will be to design the lettering and backgrounds of the lettering. Also to work on how backgrounds will switch out and character models and how close ups of the characters will change.
I have some music already for use on a Sci fi game. Unfortunately that creator hasn't stayed in touch (maybe given up on his game). So I have sound effects for alien space craft and beam me up sounds as well as 3-4 music tracks suitable for the genre.
Forum Best Game of All Time Awards
PS3 Megathread 2019: The Last of Us
Multiplat 2018: Horizon Zero Dawn
Nintendo 2017: Super Mario Bros 3
Playstation 2016: Uncharted 2
Multiplat 2015: Final Fantasy 7
Genuinely wasn't expecting the love story angle @themcnoisy! How sweet 😁
And I told ya I tried with Little Big Planet and that I was terrible... Dreams is a game that's basically a development engine! It's too much for me!
anyway I got the info written down now so if you wanna edit it out your comment so it'll be a surprise to any of the other dream players here feel free to do so!
Dreams is complicated. However to change out text you are using 'text boxes' they have individual parameters, ours will be set to on screen taking up a 3rd of the screen at the bottom. I will set a bit of logic so the most recent entree goes on top. It would be easy to alter. I will be using piano roll to introduce new events based on a timer or button press.
There are a few tricks Visual novelists use which lead into various scenes. Don't forget we don't need too much description in the scenes themselves but feel free to write them down and I will endeavour that the visuals match the description.
The reason I want you or Rog to buy Dreams is so it takes the workload down. Even something as daft as writing a big 'smash' in comic writing takes an age as its not pre built into the game. But don't panic if you can't I can get a demo running and if it works we will take it further.
What I do have access to already is some amazing looking ships and some spaceship interiors made by other gamers. We can use them for sure.
So firstly I will make you a logo. What do you want to be called fox? My logo is Noisy which comes in from the left with the i as a microphone. It's pretty good.
Take a look it plays very early into starting this demo.
Forum Best Game of All Time Awards
PS3 Megathread 2019: The Last of Us
Multiplat 2018: Horizon Zero Dawn
Nintendo 2017: Super Mario Bros 3
Playstation 2016: Uncharted 2
Multiplat 2015: Final Fantasy 7
@themcnoisy Yeah, I've seen a handful of visual novels before. I guess the major focus will be back-and-forth dialogue between characters, then, with less-frequent descriptive text for items?
@Solea Cool. Is it autobiographical at all, or does it just reflect a preoccupation with a specific theme?
Some unsolicited advice:
Your writing style is dense, so I'd recommend reading every line out loud to make sure their structure doesn't become too twisted or self-indulgent.
Also, nothing wrong with allowing your writing to adopt the form that is natural to it. While it's maybe not the most marketable form of prose in the world, there's nothing wrong with fragmentary writing so long as it maintains an internal logic and is accomplishing what you want it to do.
"Sometimes I'd sprout wings (in my head) to fly her outside the school's perimeter wall."
IN their head or from it? Also, is this meant to be metaphorical, as in: "Sometimes, in my imaginings, I'd sprout wings so that I could fly her outside the school's perimeter wall"? Or literal magical realism, as in: "Sometimes, wings would sprout from my head so that I could fly her outside the school's perimeter wall"?
@Solea Yeah, I can't add anything more useful than @Ralizah just did, but thanks for the tag all the same! I've enjoyed reading your eloquent posts around here before, and your passion for expressive, rather beautiful language is plain to see; you have a very lyrical way of conveying your point. If I have anything to contribute, it's perhaps that every single sentence doesn't necessarily have to be "an event" (something you achieve without being verbose, which is an achievement in and of itself, so be proud of that natural gift you have). But hey, if that's your style, own it.
I really like this piece. It's almost poetic, and I wouldn't mind reading more, no matter how segmented. I reckon you'd manage to convey your intentions, and certainly your feelings, well enough.
"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."
@Solea Well, writers often defer to life experience, and your premise was pretty specific.
Another thing: writing that skirts, but never crosses, the line of magical realism is also a thing, so don't take my literalism too seriously. My brain is a bit too analytical to get truly lost in poetic fancies, but you clearly don't have that problem. @RogerRoger said it best: your style is your style, and that's what you need to work with. I'm glad you seem so keen on passing over it again, as it demonstrates a great attitude and lack of attachment to your work. In general, good prose isn't written: it's rewritten. Some geniuses can scrawl out perfect work in one go, but they're probably not hanging around on video game forums, y'know?
Definitely keep at it, friend. Literature is one of the oldest mechanisms we have for imposing order and significance on the meaninglessness of the world around us.
I'm not very well read, and so most of this is me reaching way beyond the boundaries of what I'm capable of writing. But, it doesn't stop me!
Well, with the greatest of respect, you're wrong. You did write it, and it's good, so that makes you more than capable. I'd say that you're well on your way to finding your voice. As for the struggle? All writers, of any ability level, struggle. Sometimes entire pages can flow like water; other times, choosing the right word to start a sentence can seem like a Sisyphean task. Artistic expression is unreliable, unpredictable and largely unknown until the moment it happens.
Until then, practice. Fake it until you make it. Be confident enough to ask for feedback, to make changes and try new things, to step back and admit "I don't know" (which you've already done, bravo).
Because hey, I'll confess, I can't remember the last time I picked up a book that wasn't a game's strategy guide, or just full of pictures. You don't have to understand everything ever written; you just have to understand your own story enough to tell it. Being well-read doesn't count. Being yourself, being passionate about what you're doing? That's what counts.
And I reckon you've got that down.
"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."
@Solea Forgot to mention, but, based on your posts, your English vocabulary is pretty large. Pretty surprising if you truly "aren't well-read."
@RogerRoger Nice post. All good writing is, to some extent, reaching beyond the limits of our current capabilities so as to increase the range of our mastery. Of course, it's messy and uncomfortable until we become accustomed to it. It's how we grow as artists as well as people.
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