@mookysam hope you feel better, i remember whenever i have to spend long periods in hospital how dull it can be but not only dull also a little scary because your always unsure as to what's going to happen next
"I pity you. You just don't get it at all...there's not a thing I don't cherish!"
"Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!
@KALofKRYPTON That made me laugh. Vita is forever, after all. My stay shall push the Vita into further greatness.
@FullbringIchigo It was scariest at the beginning when I was brought in. Then I can't remember anything that happened beyond a certain point. Just basically going with it now.
@mookysam Sorry Iâm late but Iâm very much wishing you âget-well soonâ also. I wanted to make sure to tell you that before I did my upcoming marmite post because it is infinitely less important and more trivial than your current plight, so I donât want to detract from our heartfelt thoughts on your behalf during this tough stretch laid up in the hospital. Hang in there.
Hopefully the next post Iâm doing will offer some silly respite from your troubles ...
âWe cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.â
In honor of Death Stranding, I would like to post my own personal review of âAn Americanâs First Experience with Marmite.â
Although Iâm tempted to put this in the âUser Impressions/Reviewsâ section of the forums, I donât want to sully the thread with what may turn out to be open war and mudslinging vitriol. So Iâm going to place it here, in the catch-all Fibber McGee closet of the site, where the discussion had its roots a few short days ago.
First, Iâll say, finding Marmite in the U.S. wasnât as hard as I thought it would be. I was able to purchase it for the reasonable price from a market that specialized in international products. Although I clearly went there with the intent to procure some of the pasty controversial delicacy, on the way out I couldnât help but see a lovely looking Fryâs peppermint cream dark chocolate bar which looked too tempting to pass up â The short review of the UK made chocolate bar is that is was delicious. Well worth the $1.50 I spent on that. And Iâm grateful I got chocolate bar because it has helped me maintain some faith in the British palate. Because as you may have guessed, the Marmite did not fare so well.
First of all, I was able to get the small 4.4 oz. jar of the sticky goo for roughly $6. I was surprised at how small the jar is. At first I assumed that this must be a mistake because as highly touted as this delectable is, surely it must come in a much larger bottle. If this is even close to as good as peanut butter then this little jar wouldnât last me but two sandwiches. Thankfully the small inscription on the label which stated âspread thinlyâ reminded me what others have said here on the forums and it was about the only favor I can say that the Unilever Brand Marmite production company did me.
I cracked open the jar and inspected the product. First with a nice whiff of the odor emanating and next with a poking and prodding of the stuff to check itâs consistently. Of course, the smell of it is awful, I would say even putrid, but on the upside, it did clear out my sinuses.
The consistency of it was likewise otherworldly... Iâm not even sure what state of matter it exists in. Not a liquid, not a solid...maybe a gelatin?... I would say itâs a paste but itâs too sticky for that. Itâs sits quite solid in the jar, will not run out if you invert the container, but when you put a spoon into it to pull some out it just leaves a long messy string behind like melted cheese. Itâs a science experiment gone wrong. Likely it can power a nuclear reactor for all I could tell.
A pungent smell, and a sticky gooey mess... but what does it taste like? I first decided to try it straight up by itself. I cautiously scooped a tiny amount and placed it on my tongue. My mouth immediately burned and I involuntarily salivated and my eyes watered as if exposed to tear gas. Forget nuclear fuel, this stuff is a biological weapon of the highest order!
But I was not deterred, universally the advice had been to try it on some toast. Some like it with some butter and some like it by itself. So I prepared two pieces of toast, one I buttered and one I didnât. Then upon each piece I spread a thin layer of Marmite.
I tried the unbuttered slice first.
I initially felt the bread helped to counter some of the taste of the Marmite and I thought I might actually be able to tolerate the strong unusual flavor. But after a couple more bites, I just couldnât take it anymore. The after-effects left my tastebuds reeling in horror and I just had to throw the remainder of the unbuttered piece in the garbage. âIt tastes so rancid, surely this stuff is spoiled?â I thought, until I confirmed the expiration date on the bottle is well into 2020. Nope. Itâs supposed to taste rotten, I guess.
So I turned my attention to the toast which was pre-buttered before the marmite was placed. One last chance...
As I ate this piece, bite after bite, it was a much more pleasant experience. It wasnât good, mind you ... but I was able to finish the entire slice. So either I was growing accustomed to the marmite flavor or my taste buds had been poisoned by the substance and I had lost my fifth sense completely. In actuality, I do think the butter helped as a counter to the strong marmite taste and dulled it. It was still disgusting though.
Joking aside, despite my preparation, I wasnât quite ready for the taste of marmite. People had told me it was salty, which I guess it is, but I would describe it as overwhelmingly bitter. It does have something of a salty, earthy taste, but itâs so acidic that it is just too reminiscent of the aftertaste of the stomach juices when you vomit. And who wants to taste that on purpose?
So there you have it â an Americanâs first experience with marmite. I didnât throw the jar away, but right now I canât imagine a setting in which I will try it again. I think Iâll keep it around for a conversational piece or for party tricks.
Thanks to all who contributed to the marmite hype. I donât blame any of you for your obvious taste impairment disability. I know you canât help it.
âWe cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.â
@Th3solution I love Marmite - but it does take a childhood of training to get just the right amount for you. I like anything from a light scraping just enough to colour the butter, or enough to fill a sandwich
I reckon you've probably gone a bit heavy on your application. Marmite can be a rather subtle addition if you get the application right; try on buttered toast again, but don't 'spread it' like peanut butter, or... well, butter - just scrape some over on a butter knife so you can see that it's there. Don't do this on cold-soft toast, the Marmite is too thick for that. I think you'll have quite a different experience.
As to the cost - it's been quite expensive for a while, I think for a couple of years it was actually more expensive (gram for gram) than gold!
If you don't fancy using it on toast or crumpets - try throwing some in to any minced beef dishes you make; chillis, bolognese - that sort of thing.
If you're still feeling brave enough, try Bovril instead - it's beef (or chicken) extract rather than yeast. So easier on the palette.
PSN: KALofKRYPTON (so you can see how often I don't play anything!)
Twitter: @KALofKRYPTON (at your own risk, I don't care if you're offended)
"Fate: Protects fools, little children, and ships named Enterprise." - Cmdr William T. Riker
@Th3solution Yeah marmite I mostly have on toast with butter. I don't spread a great deal on the bread, not like I would do with peanut butter or jam. You can have it in a sandwhich too.
@Th3solution Hate to be the one to say I told you, buy yeah, told you so.
Life is more fun when you help people succeed, instead of wishing them to fail.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
@JohnnyShoulder Haha! I just had to experience it for myself. @Thillho When McDonaldâs come up with a marmite burger, then I think weâll be on board đ @Foxy-Goddess-Scotchy Iâd like to apply for entrance into your club, by the way đ @KALofKRYPTON Actually I think youâre right â I reckon that was the main problem with the first toast was my interpretation of âspread thinlyâ was still too much on the unbuttered, and probably even on the buttered one too. Iâll take your advice to heart and probably just put the smallest hint on the next time and if I have it with fried eggs and some yogurt or milk then I might do better.
Another question. I think I know the answer but â does the stuff need to be refrigerated after opening? I checked the label and it says nothing about it, so I figured that it is fine to store at room temperature, but thought I better ask. I have no idea what actual spoiled marmite would taste like, but it would either
A) be so foul that the taste would kill me on the spot, or
B) it would be so hard to differentiate from the regular acrid flavor, such that I wouldnât know the difference so Iâd be ingesting rotten marmite unknowingly.
...Either way it results in my death, so I guess I really need to know.
âWe cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.â
@Th3solution Just chuck it in the cupboard - I'm not entirely sure if it can actually spoil. I've definitely consumed Marmite after the 'use by' date and it was fine
PSN: KALofKRYPTON (so you can see how often I don't play anything!)
Twitter: @KALofKRYPTON (at your own risk, I don't care if you're offended)
"Fate: Protects fools, little children, and ships named Enterprise." - Cmdr William T. Riker
@KALofKRYPTON Perfect. Thanks!
It will hold a place of honor in my cupboard. On the plus side, Iâm thinking it will help keep ants and roaches away. đ
âWe cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.â
@RogerRoger Haha, glad you enjoyed it!
Next up: âAn American tries Blood Pudding, Steak and Kidney Pie, and other British dishes with extraneous anatomical organs and fluids.â đ
âWe cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.â
Haggis, Toad in the Hole, ... if/when I ever make it to England, it looks like Iâll be living off of Fish & Chips the whole time. Well that and Fryâs chocolates.
That Marmite chocolate bar is aptly named though â âVery Peculiarâ. đ
âWe cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.â
@Th3solution That was a legitimately hilarious and well-written write-up. Thank you! Your powers of description are on-point, as I got the full horror movie vibe from the 'unearthly' substance that's 'neither solid nor liquid' and is 'stringy like melted cheese,' which tastes like 'the aftertaste of the stomach juices when you vomit.'
Never tried it. I'll still jump at the opportunity, but I'm hesitant to waste money on something I know I'll probably hate.
PS: The only way I'll ever stick anything called "blood pudding" anywhere near my mouth is if someone is willing to pay me an inordinately large amount of money to do so. And probably not even then.
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