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Topic: Goodbye/Vacation Thread

Posts 601 to 611 of 611

RogerRoger

@TheIdleCritic Buddy, I'm real sorry to hear things aren't going so great for you right now (and I don't use the term "buddy" lightly there, by the way; you've made a great impression around here, even without the bonus Bond talk). Many have already written what I would normally write, so I'll just wholeheartedly second what they've posted, particularly about using this place as a fun escape as and when you can. It's what I do, with a coffee in hand, feeding my (admittedly shy) social side. It's why you won't find me anywhere else on the internet, either. I think it's awesome how many good people have found and been accepted by this community, and you're certainly one of them.

What you're going through now is difficult, and will still be difficult for a while. You may not have any answers at this very moment, but you'll find them eventually, trust me. The fact that you've been able to post openly about this is a good sign; you're shutting yourself down in some ways, but not all. That tells me that you want to feel better, and that means you will, because wanting is half the battle.

And in your own words, we've got a great future ahead. I mean, hey, there's a new Bond game to look forward to now, which seemed impossible only a few short months ago!

Be safe, look after yourself as best you can, and we'll be here whenever you're ready.

"Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind."

PSN ID: GDS_2421
Making It So Since 1987

TheBrandedSwordsman

@TheIdleCritic - All the best, having people around you can help. Even if they are just around you as part of an online community, I'm sure we'd all be willing to offer whatever support you need that we can realistically provide, and see you again soon, should you need us.

"Ten thousand toadstools, with right purchase, could lift a man, I suppose. But what good would it do?"

PSN: Draco_V_Ecliptic

Th3solution

@TheIdleCritic For what it’s worth, I’ve really enjoyed reading a lot of your posts and seeing the great things you’ve added to the community.

I’m in a bit of a slump lately too — although not to the extent you’ve described, but in a different way I have some external stressors that are sapping my life force. It’s made me a little less interactive of late, and I think this past 2 weeks was the first time in a while that I didn’t play any video games out of choice. I had ample time this past weekend, but I couldn’t clear my mind to even turn the console on.

Reading some of the thoughts and advice from some of the forum mates has buoyed my soul a little as well. The ladies and gents here in the forums have a great way of being supportive, and I thoroughly appreciate that.

In this awful version of the world that we currently reside in, we are bombarded with negative things. You’re going through a tough time, one which I can’t even begin to fathom. But to know that there is much out here that is good and joyful, and to know that people appreciate you and respect you — well, we all don’t hear enough of that nowadays. All we hear is negativity.

So I’ll add my words of encouragement (and I’ll listen to them myself) — This dreadful current state of the world and the unnecessary stress it brings can sod off. There are bright days ahead, no question about it. We’ll both come out stronger on the other side. Sometimes things happen for a reason and what looks gloomy at the time might turn out to be a lot better outcome in the end.

Edited on by Th3solution

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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Forum Megapoll 2020 - Best Video Game Box Art: Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Special Edition

TheIdleCritic

I'll keep this short, simply because otherwise I'll outstay my welcome and bother you lot to no end! But it is no reflection on my appreciation - which I can not express in words. I will forever be grateful for the kindness and attentiveness in your messages to me. A worthless stranger. It brings a tear to my eyes. I really did choose the right place to join.

While I see myself as an open person - perhaps to a disadvantage - I am also aware that this is still an open forum and anyone and their mum can read this, so I'll remain vague even though I do feel comfortable enough to reveal all.

This may all be very trivial for some, and I won't begrudge them for viewing this that way; no one is dying, there is no physical hardship. It's just a break up. I get it.

I never really had a family (long story) and any blood relatives I have now I'm distanced from. I've never been part of the clan. My in-laws were the first real family I had. I was even there when my father in-law succumbed to cancer. To lose them is something I'm not able to fathom. Processing that right now is impossible.

This has made me very ill; I've developed dermatitis on some parts of my skin, my sleeping is shot - the only time I can sleep is when my body is exhausted, and that happens in the afternoon. so it's affecting work and my life in general. I can't think properly, I'm clumsier, make more mistakes. I have both insomnia and fatigue in equal measure.

I do not have many friends. And the only real one I have, who I can call my brother, has moved out the UK to be with this family and newborn. He now has different responsibilities, and dare I say it, bigger ones than looking after me - so any deep or meaningful conversations I am able to have are few and far between and not in person.

This is all new to me and as I said, I'm not coping very well. I certainly have nothing to look forward to, or be happy about. The only saving grace could be Hitman 3. I'm counting down the days.

@ralphdibny I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances. I'm not buddhist but I grew up near a Thai temple because I started practising Muay Thai as a little boy. So I've learnt mindfulness and meditation. I'll always take the chance to tell someone that it can work wonders and should not be scoffed it. It has nothing to do with religion either. It's just a way to look after yourself and reset. Having said that, in my current mental and physical state it's not working as well as it used to.

I have never been in this situation before, so perhaps you're right. Everyone's advice seems to point towards using the community as a safe place. Thank you.

@Ralizah I'm trying!

@RogerRoger Thank you, friend. I do want to feel better but I'm also not a particularly strong person, especially if I'm alone. Admittedly I have been alone for most of my life and it hasn't been too much of a struggle (at least on the surface). But now after having a family and support, it's a little hard to have to learn how to go back to being alone.

@Draco_V_Ecliptic You're too kind. Thank you.

@Th3solution Thank you. It's very important to see through the fog and seek out positives. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you how hard it can get sometimes though. The fog can get so thick that you just give up.
I have to get my health back on track first of all but I'm finding it hard to see a way, right now.

Edited on by TheIdleCritic

Rudy_Manchego

@TheIdleCritic Hey really sorry, I missed your other post but I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances and do share on here. I would consider myself pretty lucky with my immediate family but I have struggled with the fact my close friends are all spread across the country and I won't be seeing them so it must be even harder without that.

Gaming and communities like this have been a godsend to me, because sure it is a distraction in a way but it gives somewhere to communicate and things to look forward to and engage with that are divorced from real life. So do engage on here and any other communities - I know it has helped keep me going!

Now I may be an idiot, but there's one thing I am not sir, and that sir, is an idiot

https://jambags.co.uk

PSN: Rudy_Manchego | Twitter:

Gremio108

@TheIdleCritic Just keep going. There's no trick to help you through, just get through however you can. It's like flying into a cloud; you'll come out eventually, it's just a case of when. Until then, keep going.

One day this experience will probably be of benefit to you in some as-yet-unforeseen way, whether it's to get you through another difficult time or supporting somebody else

Good job, Parappa. You can go on to the next stage now.

PSN: Hallodandy

Ralizah

@TheIdleCritic I wouldn't call your situation trivial at all. I'm sure what you're going through is devastating. And, as has been said, there are no shortcuts through the emotions you're feeling. Mindfulness techniques are helpful when feelings get overwhelming, but, at the end of the day, the feelings are real and are still valid, and you'll need to give yourself the emotional space to fully grieve.

Normally I'd say that you should throw yourself into social activities to make new contacts and/or distract you from the pain, but given the situation in the world right now... it's not a good time to not be emotionally well-adjusted, unfortunately.

All I can say, from personal experience, is this: no matter how painful things are right now, the sharpness of it all will dull over time, and, if you don't close yourself off to the world, other people will likely come along who will help meet your emotional needs. That sounds clinical and dismissive, but humans have a remarkable ability to adapt to new circumstances.

ACTIVELY PLAYING
Monster Hunter Rise demo (Switch)

PSN: Ralizah

zupertramp

@TheIdleCritic I could elaborate but I'll keep it short (and yeah, less personal) by just saying I can definitely relate to much of that. So you're not alone there.

One thing I think worth mentioning is that, in my experience, there are sometimes sections of our lives where there just isn't much to look forward to but it's quite often just a matter of waiting (usually not even that long in the grand scheme of things), as something typically comes along that makes it all worthwhile.*

I suppose that's just another way to word gremio's cloud analogy but ah well.

*Of course according to Buddhist thought there's not really good or bad, just life. And it's all to be lived and experienced similarly and with the same level of appreciation but I have yet to reach that level of enlightenment so yeah lol.

PSN: frownonfun
Switch: SW-5109-6573-1900 (Pops)

"And if your hands were metal, that would mean something."

ralphdibny

@TheIdleCritic honestly, it's not trivial at all. Any break up is going to be painful for both people whoever is responsible for it. It's especially painful when you lose the support bubble that you've described that you've gained from being with your partner.

There will be bad days and there will be good moments, which then turn to good days, sometimes you have to force yourself to have a good day. It sucks, it really does but I hope you get through it.

ralphdibny

RogerRoger

@TheIdleCritic I wish I had something other than platitudes and anecdotes to offer, some magic bullet that'll skip the whole healing process and make you feel better. Unfortunately, this is the risk we take when entering into a relationship. In your case, given your background and circumstances, you were putting a lot on the line, and it's all been dragged to the surface by this.

But you're not alone in being alone (ironic as that may seem). It takes guts to write what you've written, and post it in a public place, but look at the replies you've gotten. Might not be much, but it's more than nothing, and I really hope it helps kick-start your recovery.

It sounds like you were really accepted by your in-laws, and that's awesome.

Why? Because sometime, when you least expect it, you'll realise that someone loved you. And that means someone can love you again, and that'll make you smile.

"Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind."

PSN ID: GDS_2421
Making It So Since 1987

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