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Topic: Goodbye/Vacation Thread

Posts 581 to 600 of 1,065

kyleforrester87

@TheIdleCritic It sounds like you've got some dark days ahead but that's understandable and you'll get through it, take it as it comes, don't be so hard on yourself and try not to sweat the small stuff. It's easy to think you're in a hole you'll never get out of sometimes, but that's bullsh*t!

kyleforrester87

PSN: WigSplitter1987

zupertramp

@TheIdleCritic Honestly I kinda took you for a regular, but I'm new too so it's all relative I guess.

Anyway just thought I'd suggest perhaps it's during the trying times that having a community to engage with is most important and beneficial. I'm something of an introvert and a natural depressive so I know how helpful it is to have an outlet when things are particularly bad. So maybe continue to interact when you can.

But, like I said, just a suggestion. You obviously gotta do what works best for you. Wish you the best in any case.

PSN: frownonfun
Switch: SW-5109-6573-1900 (Pops)

"One of the unloveliest and least enlightening aspects of contemporary discourse is the tendency to presume that whatever one disagrees with must be very simple—not only simple, but also simply wrong." - Elizabeth Bruenig

ralphdibny

Be well @TheIdleCritic , I can't really imagine what a divorce would be like but I hope you get through it ok. I know it seems like a weird thing to say but even a few posts here and there might help your mental state, if only to keep you connected to someone during this period of isolation for so many of us.

I don't think it's comparable to your situation but even I have felt funny for the last week or so. There's a lot of external factors happening that I think are causing me to regress to an older and less healthy mindset. Mainly the combination of having to drop my partner off at her house (about 2 hours away) so she can go back to work, knowing I probably won't see her until she can work from home again or the pandemic is over and also the fact that I probably will have to go back to work for some days even though the infection rate is at an all time high in London. It's worse at the beginning of the week when I know I could get a call for work but I am hoping I don't (I'm on zero hours so I always have this early week anxiety but it is amplified due to the pandemic).

The reason I said all that is because it doesn't just affect me in real life but it even affects me posting here, the only online community I'm part of (PX and NL included). It sounds weird because I am relatively anonymous here so you'd think I wouldn't care what people think but the constant self doubt and questioning I used to have (and I'm sure many other people deal with, I don't mean this to be a sob story at all) has sort of come back in the last couple of weeks where my life has become less full with less distractions. This extends to my posting and I'm less inclined to post and I occasionally delete posts that I have written out if I felt like I can't get a coherent and acceptable point across.

So what I mean to say is, even if it is reduced to drips and drabs as and when you are inclined, a post here and there can connect you to a community that can offer you support in many ways. I don't necessarily mean advice on your specific situation, though I'm sure people can relate. But an off hand conversation about a movie or a game can just alleviate some of the burden you may feel.

Just as an aside, there is a mental health discussion thread on this site that you can join in with. I personally haven't been brave enough to do so but I have read through it when it was active and it seemed supportive while keeping a reasonable perspective and without becoming overly pandering, which seems like a good mix to me.

Anyway be well, and I hope to continue seeing you around as and when you are inclined to post!

See ya!

zupertramp

@TheIdleCritic @ralphdibny You know I was just thinking maybe someone should look into creating a kind of lockdown lifeline thread but I guess if there's already a mental health thread that would work as well.

PSN: frownonfun
Switch: SW-5109-6573-1900 (Pops)

"One of the unloveliest and least enlightening aspects of contemporary discourse is the tendency to presume that whatever one disagrees with must be very simple—not only simple, but also simply wrong." - Elizabeth Bruenig

Ralizah

@TheIdleCritic Hope things get easier for you. Hang in there!

Currently Playing: Advance Wars 1 + 2: Re- Boot Camp (NS)

PSN: Ralizah

RogerRoger

@TheIdleCritic Buddy, I'm real sorry to hear things aren't going so great for you right now (and I don't use the term "buddy" lightly there, by the way; you've made a great impression around here, even without the bonus Bond talk). Many have already written what I would normally write, so I'll just wholeheartedly second what they've posted, particularly about using this place as a fun escape as and when you can. It's what I do, with a coffee in hand, feeding my (admittedly shy) social side. It's why you won't find me anywhere else on the internet, either. I think it's awesome how many good people have found and been accepted by this community, and you're certainly one of them.

What you're going through now is difficult, and will still be difficult for a while. You may not have any answers at this very moment, but you'll find them eventually, trust me. The fact that you've been able to post openly about this is a good sign; you're shutting yourself down in some ways, but not all. That tells me that you want to feel better, and that means you will, because wanting is half the battle.

And in your own words, we've got a great future ahead. I mean, hey, there's a new Bond game to look forward to now, which seemed impossible only a few short months ago!

Be safe, look after yourself as best you can, and we'll be here whenever you're ready.

"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."

PSN: GDS_2421
Making It So Since 1987

Black_Swordsman

@TheIdleCritic - All the best, having people around you can help. Even if they are just around you as part of an online community, I'm sure we'd all be willing to offer whatever support you need that we can realistically provide, and see you again soon, should you need us.

"Man is the pie that bakes and eats himself, and the recipe is separation." - Alasdair Gray

PSN: Draco_V_Ecliptic

Th3solution

@TheIdleCritic For what it’s worth, I’ve really enjoyed reading a lot of your posts and seeing the great things you’ve added to the community.

I’m in a bit of a slump lately too — although not to the extent you’ve described, but in a different way I have some external stressors that are sapping my life force. It’s made me a little less interactive of late, and I think this past 2 weeks was the first time in a while that I didn’t play any video games out of choice. I had ample time this past weekend, but I couldn’t clear my mind to even turn the console on.

Reading some of the thoughts and advice from some of the forum mates has buoyed my soul a little as well. The ladies and gents here in the forums have a great way of being supportive, and I thoroughly appreciate that.

In this awful version of the world that we currently reside in, we are bombarded with negative things. You’re going through a tough time, one which I can’t even begin to fathom. But to know that there is much out here that is good and joyful, and to know that people appreciate you and respect you — well, we all don’t hear enough of that nowadays. All we hear is negativity.

So I’ll add my words of encouragement (and I’ll listen to them myself) — This dreadful current state of the world and the unnecessary stress it brings can sod off. There are bright days ahead, no question about it. We’ll both come out stronger on the other side. Sometimes things happen for a reason and what looks gloomy at the time might turn out to be a lot better outcome in the end.

Edited on by Th3solution

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

Rudy_Manchego

@TheIdleCritic Hey really sorry, I missed your other post but I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances and do share on here. I would consider myself pretty lucky with my immediate family but I have struggled with the fact my close friends are all spread across the country and I won't be seeing them so it must be even harder without that.

Gaming and communities like this have been a godsend to me, because sure it is a distraction in a way but it gives somewhere to communicate and things to look forward to and engage with that are divorced from real life. So do engage on here and any other communities - I know it has helped keep me going!

Now I may be an idiot, but there's one thing I am not sir, and that sir, is an idiot

PSN: Rudy_Manchego | Twitter:

Gremio108

@TheIdleCritic Just keep going. There's no trick to help you through, just get through however you can. It's like flying into a cloud; you'll come out eventually, it's just a case of when. Until then, keep going.

One day this experience will probably be of benefit to you in some as-yet-unforeseen way, whether it's to get you through another difficult time or supporting somebody else

Good job, Parappa. You can go on to the next stage now.

PSN: Hallodandy

Ralizah

@TheIdleCritic I wouldn't call your situation trivial at all. I'm sure what you're going through is devastating. And, as has been said, there are no shortcuts through the emotions you're feeling. Mindfulness techniques are helpful when feelings get overwhelming, but, at the end of the day, the feelings are real and are still valid, and you'll need to give yourself the emotional space to fully grieve.

Normally I'd say that you should throw yourself into social activities to make new contacts and/or distract you from the pain, but given the situation in the world right now... it's not a good time to not be emotionally well-adjusted, unfortunately.

All I can say, from personal experience, is this: no matter how painful things are right now, the sharpness of it all will dull over time, and, if you don't close yourself off to the world, other people will likely come along who will help meet your emotional needs. That sounds clinical and dismissive, but humans have a remarkable ability to adapt to new circumstances.

Currently Playing: Advance Wars 1 + 2: Re- Boot Camp (NS)

PSN: Ralizah

zupertramp

@TheIdleCritic I could elaborate but I'll keep it short (and yeah, less personal) by just saying I can definitely relate to much of that. So you're not alone there.

One thing I think worth mentioning is that, in my experience, there are sometimes sections of our lives where there just isn't much to look forward to but it's quite often just a matter of waiting (usually not even that long in the grand scheme of things), as something typically comes along that makes it all worthwhile.*

I suppose that's just another way to word gremio's cloud analogy but ah well.

*Of course according to Buddhist thought there's not really good or bad, just life. And it's all to be lived and experienced similarly and with the same level of appreciation but I have yet to reach that level of enlightenment so yeah lol.

PSN: frownonfun
Switch: SW-5109-6573-1900 (Pops)

"One of the unloveliest and least enlightening aspects of contemporary discourse is the tendency to presume that whatever one disagrees with must be very simple—not only simple, but also simply wrong." - Elizabeth Bruenig

ralphdibny

@TheIdleCritic honestly, it's not trivial at all. Any break up is going to be painful for both people whoever is responsible for it. It's especially painful when you lose the support bubble that you've described that you've gained from being with your partner.

There will be bad days and there will be good moments, which then turn to good days, sometimes you have to force yourself to have a good day. It sucks, it really does but I hope you get through it.

See ya!

RogerRoger

@TheIdleCritic I wish I had something other than platitudes and anecdotes to offer, some magic bullet that'll skip the whole healing process and make you feel better. Unfortunately, this is the risk we take when entering into a relationship. In your case, given your background and circumstances, you were putting a lot on the line, and it's all been dragged to the surface by this.

But you're not alone in being alone (ironic as that may seem). It takes guts to write what you've written, and post it in a public place, but look at the replies you've gotten. Might not be much, but it's more than nothing, and I really hope it helps kick-start your recovery.

It sounds like you were really accepted by your in-laws, and that's awesome.

Why? Because sometime, when you least expect it, you'll realise that someone loved you. And that means someone can love you again, and that'll make you smile.

"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."

PSN: GDS_2421
Making It So Since 1987

TheIdleCritic

@RogerRoger @ralphdibny @zupertramp @Ralizah @Gremio108 @Rudy_Manchego @Th3solution @TheBrandedSwordsman @kyleforrester87 @LieutenantFatman

I just want to extend my thanks again to you guys.

I deleted my second long post as I felt a little uncomfortable, but the people it was meant for viewed it and replied, so that's what really matters.

I can't express how grateful I am for the kind words and advice. I've taken it all on board, and have come to realise that I do have help in coping with this. "Ya'll the best". I'm just taking it day by day. Lots of mugs of tea.

I'm currently installing Hitman 3, so maybe I will actually have to say goodbye for a while haha.

zupertramp

@TheIdleCritic You've legitimately been in my thoughts these past couple days. Good to hear from you. Maybe I'm an empath or whatever but, I worry. Enjoy Hitman 3; whatever gets you through the day right.

PSN: frownonfun
Switch: SW-5109-6573-1900 (Pops)

"One of the unloveliest and least enlightening aspects of contemporary discourse is the tendency to presume that whatever one disagrees with must be very simple—not only simple, but also simply wrong." - Elizabeth Bruenig

TheIdleCritic

@zupertramp You have a good heart.

I don't deserve your worry, but you have my eternal gratitude. As I said, day by day. It's all I can muster up at the moment. But mercifully I've had a lot of moments of respite. Be it extra work, a new game, challenging myself with fitness, or sorting out the house. The hard moments come when certain thoughts enter my mind. Once they're in there it's hard to be distracted from them and it takes me back a few steps. Dare I say it, tougher days are yet to come. Especially when I'm inevitably forced to interact with certain people when I need to sort out things. But hey, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I just need to be mindful and calm.

RogerRoger

@TheIdleCritic Knowing you've got tea on tap is knowing that you'll be okay!

In all seriousness, I'm glad you're at least feeling supported, if not a little better by now. I'm certain Hitman will help (and am a little jealous; you'll have to come back, if only to briefly share your thoughts on the game!) and hope you enjoy immersing yourself in it.

"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."

PSN: GDS_2421
Making It So Since 1987

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