Topic: User Impressions/Reviews Thread

Gets excited to read another @RogerRoger review.... some other time as I'm about to head off to play more Mass Effect 3. It's been a long time since I remembering seeing a review from you.

I did cheat and read the beginning and then go to the end, so I know you highly enjoyed it. Good to see since I do still plan on buying it at some point when it's cheaper. Hopefully by then any technical issues will be better.

@RogerRoger Splendid review; I’m glad you made a return to review writing for this special occasion! Besides being thrilled that the game lived up to the anticipation for you personally, I’m just glad that it’s a good game. Time will tell how it performs and I hope the positive fan buzz gives the game a little boost to make up for the unfortunate misleading first impressions that you mentioned. I think WB/DC shouldn’t have announced the Suicide Squad game and this game at the same time like they did, because not only did it add to the confusion of what each game actually was, it starved this game of some of the oxygen it could have used to build a better pre-release hype. The confusion about this game being a live-service multiplayer game definitely kept me from looking at it closer. Thanks for clarifying that.

We’ll see how the game performs commercially (you’ve sold me on buying it eventually), but I feel echoes of Guardians of the Galaxy — as in, a solid single player superhero game that was just poorly marketed and bombed despite players really liking it. Hopefully Gotham Knights has a better outcome.

And speaking of Marvel comparisons, this game sounds like the game I wish Avengers had been.

Alright. My half of the directory should be updated through the latest review. Sorry for the delay.

@RogerRoger Heh, nice to see the special cameo review. I guess the online reaction to Gotham Knights has really been eating at you, hasn't it?

Probably nothing I'll ever play (like many others, I'm still stuck on wanting a proper next-gen Arkham follow-up), but I do appreciate how you've dispelled some of the popular misconceptions people have about this release, and your passion is evident and appreciated.

The discourse over performance... look, while I fully understand people saying there's no excuse for this game running as poorly as it does on next-gen hardware, I do sometimes wonder how much certain people ACTUALLY enjoy just chilling out and playing games anymore. Like, do these people play a game with performance hitches and throw a fit every time they see a bit of stutter? I do think it deserves to be addressed, but it seems like a shame that the framerate discussion has completely overshadowed the actual content of the game itself.

Those screenshots make this game look WAY better than any of the footage I've seen of it, btw. You still have quite an eye for eye-catching screen grabs.

Triangle Strategy

Platform: Nintendo Switch (now also on PC)

Two playthroughs finished; 82 hours total playtime

Triangle Strategy is a result of a collaboration between developer Artdink and ascendant Square-Enix producer Tomoya Asano, whose creative insignia appears most prominently in the deeply bizarre names his projects carry, also including Bravely Default, Octopath Traveler, and Various Daylife (these are all real names, I swear to god). Like Octopath before it, Triangle Strategy makes prominent use of S-E's much vaunted "HD-2D" art-style, which combines pixel art with 3D environments, complex shading, and other modern visual effects to create a unique visual fusion of old and new. The end result is, in the case of this title, something that looks like an evolution of the visual style adopted in many JRPGs on the PS1.

Actually, in many respects, Triangle Strategy feels like a PS1 game that had been lost to time until now, and I mean this as both light criticism and heavy praise. New games like this simply aren't made any more. It's not just the visual style, but the writing and game design itself. Fans of Japanese RPGs, if they're old enough, will remember a time when characters weren't primarily high school students, fanservice was rare and tastefully implemented, humor was more subtle, character designs were detailed and avoided adopting a generic 'anime' look, and one didn't have to suffer obnoxious and frequently misogynistic tropes in order to get to the good parts of a game's story. In this respect, Triangle Strategy is a throwback to the 90s in the very best sense, treating its extensive cast of characters with deep respect as it weaves a story dense with twists and political intrigue.

I mentioned that all of Asano's game titles are bizarre, but they all tie back to integral aspects of the games as well. Which brings us to Triangle Strategy. Trios of things (or trianglular relations) actually feature prominently in the game. The most obvious is its setting. The continent of Norzelia is split between three civilizations: The Duchy of Aesfrost, a mountainous, bitterly cold land in the northernmost portion of Norzelia, which trades in iron mined from its mountain caves and prides itself on being a meritocracy where anyone can ascend the social ladder and better their station in life, regardless of race, creed, or sex; The Holy State of Hyzante, located in a sprawling desert to Norzelia's East, a theocracy which thrives on the export of salt harvested from the only know salt lake in existence, said to have been a gift from the Goddess of Salt; and the Kingdom of Glenbrook, located in the Western part of Norzelia, a land of verdant, unspoiled natural beauty and longstanding feudal tradition where the game's protagonist, Serenoa Wolffort, hails from.

When the game begins, only a few decades have passed since the end of the Saltiron War, a vicious conflict over key resources which enveloped the entire continent, and the political balance of Norzelia is only beginning to truly recover. A transcontinental consortium is established to fairly manage the distribution of salt and iron across the land, and, at the beginning of the game, we learn that Serenoa, heir to one of the three high houses of Glenbrook, is to be married to Frederica Aesfrost, which is as explicit a symbol as any of the friendship between the two civilizations. This fragile balance of peace is shattered, however, when, days before the marriage is to happen, Aesfrost launches a brutal and unprovoked invasion on the capital city of Glenbrook. Serenoa and Frederica escape the capital with the crown prince, Roland Glenbrook, in tow, and are left with the rest of House Wolffort to manage a situation that threatens to plunge the continent back into the fires of war once again.

Triangle Strategy is a tactical RPG in the vein of other Square-Enix classics like Tactics Ogre and Final Fantasy Tactics, although it distinguishes itself from other games in the genre by reducing the degree of customization and character building available to the player. There's almost none, in fact, outside of being able to equip different accessories, which don't really alter how you approach battles. This might be alarming to people who like to spend a lot of time customizing a party of untouchable death machines, but that would conflict with the very hand-crafted nature of the game, which is all about providing balanced battles that force the player to heavily consider which units they're going to deploy and how to command them. You know... tactics. To this end, the characters you'll unlock throughout the game are all effectively their own unique classes, with most of them playing wildly differently from one-another.

This sort of approach is only meaningful if the maps you play on encourage tactical thinking, though, and this, thankfully, represents one of Triangle Strategy's greatest design triumphs. The map design throughout is some of the best I've seen in the genre, with many featuring their own unique gimmicks that change the flow of battle, and almost all of them are designed in such a way as to force the player to reckon with multiple fronts at once, guard chokepoints, and maintain a constant awareness of the capabilities of the enemy. Almost no flat maps with units puked out at random, as is unfortunately common in series like Fire Emblem and Disgaea. This, combined with balanced character builds and tight combat mechanics that emphasize the importance of positioning and resource management, leads to Triangle Strategy being one of the most splendidly satisfying TRPGs I've ever played on a pure gameplay level.

I'm talking up the gameplay, and rightly so, but one of the distinguishing (some would say 'alienating') characteristics of Triangle Strategy is the premium it places on storytelling, worldbuilding, and other generally literary characteristics. This aspect of the game is at its most brazen at the very start, where the game immerses players in the setting and begins detailing its elaborate nest of character relationships and political intrigue. This is done primarily via cutscenes and dialogues. While most of them are quite short (and most of the non-plot relevant ones are actually optional), the game does sort of bury you in words at the beginning.

Thankfully, this narrative-heavy approach at the start pays dividends as the game progresses, as mid and especially late game chapters can focus entirely on the gripping moral dilemmas the game faces the player with. Early promotion of the game focused especially heavily on the branching nature of the game's storyline, which forces the player to make what at times feel like impossible decisions in order to survive the predations of more powerful forces within Norzelia. This becomes evident early on when an invading force led by Aesfrost's intimidating General Avlora surrounds House Wolffort's demense and demands the surrender of Prince Roland into their custody. Turning him over to Aesfrost seems like an obviously bad idea at first, but it quickly becomes evident that defending your demense from the invading army will be nigh impossible without activating fire traps that'll destroy much of the land Wolffort's peasants rely on for housing and basic survival. Later dilemmas will face players with sometimes far crueler options, testing how far they will overstep basic moral boundaries in order to survive and rebuild in order to take back Glenbrook. Triangle Strategy is at its very best when the player is lost in the painful calculus imposed by these narrative turning points.

How the game handles its branching narrative will be a bit disappointing to some, unfortunately. While choices do make concrete changes to how the story progresses, and the game itself features multiple endings, your choices generally only factor into unlocking alternate chapters that lead to unique battles and story beats. But these always tend to collapse back into the game's primary narrative thread, making them feel less crucial on subsequent playthroughs.

There is actually an exception to this: while most of the endings in this game are determined by a choice made prior to the game's final major divergence point, all of which are various degrees of bittersweet, there is actually a true ending that leads to the game's best and most complete ending, and the player will have to make very specific choices throughout the story in order to unlock it. Unfortunately, while the conditions to unlock it make sense in retrospect, I have no idea how someone would figure out how to access the true ending without any sort of reference to an online guide.

I do want to speak briefly about how the player actually goes about making choices in this game, since the system the game utilizes seems utterly unique compared to anything else I've previously played. Players don't actually technically make any choices themselves on how to progress the story. Instead, different main characters will all initially adopt certain viewpoints about what choices should be made in a situation, and the player will need to have discussions with people of dissenting viewpoints to sway them to their viewpoint. This is generally accomplished by sharing information gleaned from discussions with NPCs that can help to shed new light on specific situations. Once you feel like you've swayed the right characters to your preferred choice, a sequence will play out where the characters actually cast votes for which choice to adopt by dropping tokens into the Scales of Conviction.

While I could see some people becoming annoyed with this method of directing the flow of the narrative, I really enjoyed the layers it added to the game, and how it emphasizes the folly of making decisions unilaterally in a game filled with competing ideologies and personalities.

Triangle Strategy also features a Shin Megami Tensei-esque alignment system. As your character has discussions and makes moral choices throughout, points will be added to invisible meters that influence their emergent philosophy. The ideological axis of this game is Utility, Morality, and Liberty. These meters both influence how much sway you have in conversations during story branching events and affect the order in which the game's wide swath of unlockable characters will join your army. In theory, this will lead to players having often very different experiences on their first playthrough.

Thankfully, one of the many nice quality of life features the player can enjoy in New Game Plus runs is seeing how many points they have in each ideological category, and how many points they need in order to unlock other new characters. The game will also tell the player which conversation choices add points to which category, allowing them to effectively unlock content that eluded them on their first run.

Actually, this game's implementation of its NG+ mode is impressive and thoughtful overall. Setting aside the many new characters the player will unlock as they continue to build up alignment points, new optional battles will also unlock, and making different choices will lead to new battles and story sequences throughout. In many respects, much of my NG+ run felt as 'new' as my initial playthrough of the game.

The focus on replayability is also helped by the reasonable length of the game. In an era of 100+ hour JRPG epics, a single run of Triangle Strategy can be completed in 30 - 40 hours. Potentially less if the player focuses mainly on main story cutscenes and doesn't spend a lot of time messing around with optional battles in order to grind for material to upgrade character skill trees. This makes it much more attractive to play through the game multiple times in order to discover new story content.

Triangle Strategy's visual presentation is ostensibly its biggest draw, but it's one of the few aspects of the release I haven't found myself to be fully enamored with. Triangle Strategy's low-ish resolution and reliance on modern visual effects (such as an aggressive depth-of-field effect) lead to the image often feeling a bit... soft. On my Switch OLED, this gives the game a bit of a painterly look, and the slightly higher pixel density almost allows the game to look sharp on the Switch Lite, but overall it often just looks a bit messy. This isn't helped by the chunky sprite work for the characters, which borders on being blurry on the big screen.

To add insult to injury, this very thoroughly retro-looking game chugs big time whenever a lot of visual effects are popping off at once and the screen is filled with units. So smaller levels perform well, but some of the bigger, grander battles will often look quite choppy at points. That Square-Enix couldn't wring better performance out of a device that is able to play Xenoblade Chronicles 3 and Monster Hunter Rise without skipping a beat is... disappointing, to say the least.

The game is also almost fully voice-acted, but the quality of the voice acting itself is mixed. Some of the voice actors turn in incredibly good work, whereas others can sound a bit wooden overall.

All that being said, these complaints mostly stick out to me in retrospect.

I'm far less mixed on the game's amazing soundtrack. Seasoned composer Akira Senju, whose work anime fans might recognize from Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, brings this war epic to life with a powerful score that really helps to heighten the level of drama throughout. I'll just go ahead and post a few tracks to highlight some of the standout pieces in this game.

Triangle Strategy was a massive surprise for me. What looked like a B-tier budget game for the Switch in a genre I have mixed feelings about turned out to be one of the best games I've played this year, or any year. Despite a small army of nitpicks I've managed to amass, I can't deny that this game utterly gripped me throughout with its story and fantastic gameplay. I'm quite picky about my tactics games, but Triangle Strategy frequently managed to meet or exceed my expectations on a variety of fronts. This was an experience I didn't know I needed, but I appreciate what it added to my life, especially in the wake of Nintendo's frustrating decision to indefinitely delay their release of the upcoming Advance Wars 1 & 2 remakes.

I think I might just stick with the user reviews here as the official ones on this site are now becoming satire. @Ralizah Great review!

@TowaHerschel7 Give John a break, a lot of us enjoy his reviews and the games he plays are never exactly GOTY contenders. For any of us who grew up reading magazines, these are exactly the kind of the reviews that you’d see printed. The core concepts of the game are covered but writing these articles are an art form, you have to make it engaging otherwise you end up with a review that’s incredibly dry and looks like it’s been paid for as an advert gushing about how good the game is. Humour is subjective but you have to recognise that it’s one of the most effective way to engage readers. If you liked the game then congratulations, you liked it. John thought it was OK and gave it a 6. That’s it.

@nessisonett Look buddy let's just agree to disagree. You seem pretty cool, and I don't hate John or anything, it just kind of sounded unprofessional which struck a chord with me, but maybe that's just because American reviews take themselves too seriously?

Sorry about that.

@TowaHerschel7 You’re perhaps onto something in terms of American reviews being less tongue-in-cheek. Our review scene has grown out of the magazines, which often employed satire, cultural references, exaggerated harshness for comedic effect etc. A few of the reviewers on NintendoLife are recognisable from Offical Nintendo Magazine for starters, Chris Scullion worked there for years and is probably responsible for the fact I’m such a big fan of games media. I think Kate Grey worked there towards the end as well, with Matthew Castle who edited ONM occasionally popping onto NL to do a review too. American reviews make me think more of serious newspaper movie reviews like Ebert and Siskel. Nintendo Power always struck me as a far more ‘professional’ magazine than our fan-operated ones for home computers like the ZX Spectrum as well.

@KilloWertz Hey, just by scanning the top and bottom of my review, you've read far more than I ever expect anybody to anyway, so I'm real grateful! Besides, I'd definitely encourage you to prioritise ME3, and am patiently looking forward to your final thoughts about it, so I hope it's still going well for you!

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@Kairu Thank you! As always, these are just my own rambling thoughts. I get that we're all different, and have different priorities. I just hope that those who're on the fence can give it a fair shake!

Many more screencaps just got dumped. They won't be the last, I'm sure!

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@Th3solution Far too kind, buddy! [bows] I'm heartened by the fact that the narrative has shifted this past week, and that now we're starting to see more "what the heck, this is actually great" comments and headlines regarding the game, as more and more players pick it up. I totally agree that WB Games and DC dropped the ball by announcing Gotham Knights alongside Suicide Squad (which is apparently a lot like The Avengers, although that's based on what the WB marketing machine has told us, so who freakin' knows?!). They were even supposed to release alongside one another, as well, which would've been madness; the history of licenced gaming has cluttered far too many bargain bins with far too many examples of that dire mistake. One of those rare occasions we should be thankful for a delayed development.

I'll be playing Gotham Knights for a while yet, and so will keep you posted on its patches and content updates, so that you can make the right purchase when the price and performance is right.

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@Ralizah Much obliged! And yeah, I think it's obvious that I've been particularly irked by certain sections of the internet this past week. I try not to let such things show whenever I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) but looking back over what I wrote yesterday, I failed in that regard, and then some.

You must've really loved the Arkham series, then! Which was your favourite?

I think it was Sol who asked a general question about the whole 30fps / 60fps issue recently, and my response concluded with something along the lines of, "When did the most important question about a game stop being 'Is it fun?'?" so I very much appreciate what you're saying. Of course good performance is not only welcome in all games, but also essential in some (online shooters, for example) but context is everything and, in Gotham Knights, those rough edges didn't spoil the overall experience all that much. That's why I deducted half a point out of ten, because that's the value I'd assign to an occasional framerate stutter and Jason's overly-excited hoodie drawstrings.

Again, I understand if performance matters more to others, and respect the fact that folks wanna be careful about how they spend their money and free time (neither of which are unlimited for many of us) but good grief, let's keep things in perspective. Note the issue and move on; don't use it to review-bomb a game into submission, especially if you haven't even played it for yourself.

In spite of everybody's kind words, I still reckon that I'm a lucky amateur when it comes to screencaps, but I'm still real grateful for the praise! There's a truckload more spread out over the last couple pages of the dedicated topic, if you're interested. Some of 'em might make for okay desktop wallpapers.

Great to see you back posting reviews, too! It's been a while!

Sounds like Triangle Strategy is doing a good job of keeping that 90s JRPG flame burning; given what I know about and how you describe modern examples of the genre, then I'd definitely join you in favouring praise over criticism in that regard. It's always nice when "retro" remembers the greatness of days past and makes a genuine, heartfelt attempt to re-capture it, rather than just rushing out to grab as many nostalgia bucks as possible. I'm real pleased to see how much the experience has meant to you; not to deliberately echo your response to my Gotham Knights piece, but Triangle Strategy is a game I'll never likely play for myself, and yet I still thoroughly enjoyed reading your review, because your passion shone through. Your description of the plot's backstory, for example, as well as the twists and turns it later presents the player, was quite gripping! Working to convince and sway your characters by exposing them to different viewpoints, rather than just picking the right dialogue option from a textbox, sounds like a great mechanic for enhancing narrative investment, too. I can definitely see how one could really "get in to" the game, as you clearly did (and my goodness, yes, that soundtrack is gorgeous)!

Fingers crossed that those Advance Wars remakes do indeed end up seeing the light of day but for now, as you say, at least you've had this to soften the blow! Thanks for sharing!

@RogerRoger No problem. I still plan on going back and reading more of it at some point as I am still interested in Gotham Knights despite the performance controversy and the very mixed reviews.

Mass Effect 3 is still going pretty well. Some of the side missions are as epic as a Priority mission would be, although I suppose some of them aren't really considered side missions even though I lump anything not labeled Priority in there. Overall, there have been several memorable missions so far (I think I'm around 12 hours in or so). The mission with Grunt and the Rachni queen, since I saved her in Mass Effect 1, was as good as any of the other missions so far.

@KilloWertz Sweet, sounds like you're taking your time and savouring the experience, which is great! And yeah, that mission you mention is particularly memorable, given its legacy implications an' all. Everything feels like it's been dialled up to eleven, making for a suitably epic finale. Hope you continue to enjoy!

@RogerRoger More or less. I only have time to have extended gaming sessions on the weekends. During the week, it's about an hour and a half to two hours a day with work and such. Still, I plan on doing all of the missions that I unlock. Ideally I would finish it in time to start God of War Ragnarok in 9 days, but I'm not going to rush. If I can't play it on release day, oh well. The Mass Effect series matters more to me.

@TowaHerschel7 Thanks!

@RogerRoger You're not penning professional pieces for publication (presumably, that'll be the novel you're working on), so I don't see any reason why you'd need to separate your own emotional framework from the review itself!

"Love" is a strong word, but I did enjoy Rocksteady's Arkham games. I'll always prefer Asylum's dense Metroid-style game design, but Knight made some really bold narrative choices and did a great job of realizing a fully open world Gotham to explore. Also, I kinda liked the Batmobile segments. I know City is the popular choice, but I was never fully sold on that game's approach to open world game design.

Still never played Origin(s?). Not out of any snobbish preference for Rocksteady, but, like with many people, I just never got around to it. Maybe some day. I've heard the Wii U port is pretty good, but the downside to that is that I'd have to play it on the Wii U.

In an age of Youtube channels dedicated to technical breakdowns of how video games run on various platforms, the amount of work needed to be an intolerable performance snob has gone down dramatically. Some people genuinely like to use it as trolling fodder, but many more, I think, just enjoy jumping onto outrage bandwagons. It makes people feel good to be angry en masse over stuff. We also saw that recently with the drummed-up controversy over Bayonetta 3.

Not that I'd ever tell someone they need to accept certain performance metrics, either. If you can only play games at 8k120 on an ultrawide HDR monitor, then be free! But throwing tantrums over games not running at peak optimization seems somewhat childish. ESPECIALLY when it's already running up against the edges of what a platform can support in the first place (which, in fairness, shouldn't be the case with Arkham Knights).

Definitely tag me if you post more caps of this game.

As for posting a review, it's a funny coincidence that my own was so close to yours. This year has been... let's call it a lot... so I haven't had the time to do as much writing as I'd like in general. Even my Japanese study has suffered as of late.

Triangle Strategy is a hard game to write about, since so much of what makes it great is wound up in the game's numerous and complex plotlines. For instance, there was no place at all to mention a subplot that runs through the entire game concerning Hyzante's subjugation of a small ancestral ethnic group known as the Roselle, who they work to death in the salt lake as "atonement" for sins apparently committed by their ancestors. Your main character's betrothed, Frederica, is actually a Roselle who is descended from an escaped slave that led a rebellion against their oppression, and she is always quick to remind people not to treat the Roselle like pawns as they strategize about how best to survive. At one point in the game, you're able to successfully lobby Hyzante to aid you in a bid to re-take the capital city, but in return, they expect you to turn over a small community of Roselle who sought asylum within your family's demense decades before. Turning them over means their community will be torn apart, and most of them will die working in the salt lake, but you also risk angering a powerful potential ally in your struggle to wrest your kingdom from Aesfrost if you refuse.

Despite the adorable pixel art characters and diorama-like environments, there's a lot of grounded Game of Thrones-esque drama to be had here.

Anyway, I know the review itself was probably a little technical and on the dry side of things, but I did want to also communicate the design accomplishments of the game. Especially since many are likely to dismiss it as a 'budget' game that'll be inferior to blockbusters like Final Fantasy XVI. And especially since that sort of assessment is actually fairly accurate regarding many of Square-Enix's smaller offerings. This one more than passes muster, though, to the point where it's easily one of the best tactical RPGs I've ever played.

@KilloWertz Best of luck with your completion target but yeah, I'm afraid it might be tight. From the sounds of things, you're making solid progress, so you never know, but you've still got quite a lot of game left to play through. The particular mission you're on now is especially long, so settle in!

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@Ralizah ...and yet, my novel is packed with my feelings, which it probably shouldn't be! Still, as long as I didn't come across as a rageaholic fanboy. That would've undermined my point.

Now that we're having this conversation about the Arkham games, it's feeling familiar, so I apologise if we're going over old ground. I was just about to type out "glad to see I'm not alone in thinking City the weakest of the bunch" and got déjà vu. Must be a glitch in the Matrix! Should the fancy ever take you to try Origins, I'd highly recommend the PC version. It looks and runs the best, provided your rig is capable of handling AAA games from 2013. Means you can avoid your Wii U, too!

Gotham Knights, Bayonetta 3, and every single other issue in this day and age, I fear, whether it be related to gaming, the arts in general, sport, politics, our personal lives, etc. etc. and I know that I can't be the only one who finds it exhausting, but sometimes I do, and it's kinda isolating. Hence why it's nice to have an outlet like this, in a small, mostly-reasonable corner of the internet.

Thanks, will do! I'm trying not to overload the topic every day, so I'll wait 'til tomorrow to post more.

I'm sorry to hear that this year has been (being careful to use your choice of words, so as not to jump to any conclusions) "a lot" and hope you're as okay as you can be. If you ever need to vent about anything, or lose your temper at somebody who'll understand without insult, let me know. Otherwise, best of luck getting back to your writing and Japanese studies, and I hope losing yourself in them helps!

Blimey, then I'd say that you got the balance of your review just right, as it felt as though you'd effectively described the story and premise, without overloading or getting distracted, and yet that sounds like quite an important piece of the plot puzzle! And one that I'd imagine was quite fun to wrestle with, in the way good games can hit you with genuine moral dilemmas like that. A while back, you're right, I'd have glanced at those screenshots and figured Triangle Strategy for a cutesy, straightforward fantasy adventure, but more often we're seeing that kind of art style applied to stories and games with a more mature appeal, or at least a degree of complexity that allows for adults to get invested.

Your writing wasn't "dry" at all; like I said, Triangle Strategy isn't my standard fare in the slightest, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading about it, so that must be thanks to your talent!

With Euro 2004 on the horizon, EA Sports once again developed a spin-off title based on the international competition. The strange menage-a-trois from the World Cup 2002 game doesn’t return however, with EA Canada being the sole developers. Before we look at this game adaptation of Euro 2004, first a little info about the tournament in real life.

Portugal hosted the Euros for the first time in 2004, with the tournament going down in history for being full of big upsets. At least this time, the upsets weren’t caused by heroin-smuggling referees! Germany, Spain, and Italy all fell during the group stages, with Spain missing out despite being on the exact same points and goal difference as Greece. This was instead decided in Greece’s favour by goals scored, which would prove crucial later on.

For English fans, it was yet another loss on penalties, this time to the hosts, Portugal in the quarter-finals. Elsewhere in the quarter-finals, Greece upset France, the heavy favourites, with a 1-0 victory. This meant that the two semi-finals were Portugal v Netherlands, and Greece v Czech Republic. While the hosts went through to the final with a solid win over the Netherlands, helped by a goal from Cristiano Ronaldo, the Greece v Czech Republic match was a lot more controversial. You see, this was the first tournament to use the silver goal rule. This is a form of extra-time in which if a team holds a lead after the first half of extra-time, then they automatically win. This was seen as fairer than golden goal, in which the game instantly ends if a team scores. So given that the Czech team had won through late goals in two matches during the group stage, when Greece scored in stoppage time of the first extra-time period and won almost instantly, this didn’t give the Czech team an opportunity to possibly recover like they had done in previous matches. Considering that silver goal did not survive past this tournament… it’s safe to say it was a failure. Greece beating the hosts 1-0 in the final was the upsetti spaghetti on top of the scandal cake, although the Greeks did nothing wrong and were deserved winners through both their performances and, well, sheer dumb luck.

You might have noticed that Scotland have not actually been mentioned once. As was the case my entire life until very recently, they failed to qualify for Euro 2004. Scotland actually got to the play-offs through solid performances in their group and took a 1-0 lead into the second leg of their tie with the Netherlands. Unfortunately, they lost the second leg 6-0 because of course they bloody well did. So it was up to my rather blurry and angular Scotland side in the video game adaptation to do our nation proud!

First things first, let’s cover what this game actually brings to the table. There are your usual modes such as playing a single match and the main Euro mode. In a separate menu, there are other modes new to the series such as ‘Home and Away’ in which you play two legs, ‘Fantasy’ in which you draft a team from every player in the game, and ‘Situation’ in which you can choose options such as the current minute, score, number of cards etc in order to create specific situations to play. This mode can be used to recreate real matches for example, which is a pretty cool addition.

Gameplay-wise, this game is a bit like a slightly inferior version of FIFA 2004. The engine is recognisably similar, but it just doesn’t feel as tight. Movement feels a little delayed and sluggish, with tackles returning to be quite inconsistent. Through balls now automatically target players and adjust their power accordingly, which sounds great in theory, but is again inconsistent and actually removes a lot of creativity from the game. The power bar is also closer to modern day, with the player having to adjust their power according to how far from goal they are, instead of just having to avoid the red section which resulted in an overhit ball in FIFA 2004. This sounds like a positive change but is more annoying than anything. Free kicks are badly hit by this change, with them now being incredibly hard to score despite still having the great ball spin system. So a mixed bag.

At least this game is graphically impressive, with an effort made to recreate the climate of Portugal. The lighting is genuinely beautiful, with sunsets looking gorgeous. Unfortunately, I only actually played one match that wasn’t at night and so didn’t see much of this lighting. The game also includes stadiums from around Europe such as Old Trafford and the San Siro that are used during qualifying and in friendlies, with generic stadiums used for other countries. Teams are mostly licensed too, with the teams that qualified having their real kits, except the Netherlands whose players don’t even have names, just numbers. One irritation I did have is that while attempting to grab screenshots through an emulator, it did not like this game at all. Graphical glitches were aplenty, meaning that the definitive way to play was with an original console, albeit only in 50Hz.

In order for Scotland to stake their claim to the Henri Delaunay Trophy, we first had to actually qualify for the tournament. This game actually includes the real qualifying groups rather than randomizing it, meaning that we were in a group with Germany, Faroe Islands, Iceland, and Lithuania. Bizarrely enough, the qualifying stage went incredibly smoothly, with the only loss coming in the away leg against Germany. These qualifying matches were interspersed with friendlies, which were a good way to build up my familiarity with the game before the actual tournament. These matches also served as an introduction to the morale system, which affects players’ stats based on their performance at club level, whether they had been selected in previous matches and those matches’ results, or just ‘personal reasons’ AKA RNG.

With our place in the Euros secured, it was time to pick the squad coming to Portugal. While I did leave out Kenny Miller and Craig Gordon, who will definitely come into play in the 2006 World Cup, the usual suspects were all there such as Rab Douglas and Barry Ferguson, the Ham Man. There was a bit of crossover with the Celtic squad from the previous season but also quite a few players from other Scottish clubs like Rangers and Hearts. With the draw placing us in a group with Bulgaria, Sweden, and Turkey, our chances were looking fairly decent!

It was interesting being in a group with Bulgaria and Sweden as this meant that I was facing Stilyan Petrov and Henrik Larsson, respectively. These two players were invaluable in my success with Celtic and so I knew exactly what they were capable of. Thankfully, the results came thick and fast, with comfortable wins over all three teams ensuring that we finished top of the group and meaning that we would have a more favourable draw in the quarter-finals. Incidentally enough, England made an early exit in the group stage, so we’ll have to wait once again for a meeting with the Auld Enemy!

Slovenia were our opponents in the quarter-finals, a country that I know basically nothing about. I guess Melania Trump is from there? Unfortunately, she wasn’t on the pitch though. This match was a closely fought affair, with the score being 0-0 after 90 minutes. In the 103rd minute, close to the end of the first period of extra time, we were awarded a free kick just outside the box. With a sensational strike from Paul Lambert, we just had to defend our 1-0 lead for the brief few minutes left in the half. The silver goal rule actually worked in our favour here and we booked our place in the semi-finals.

The first semi-final between France and Italy ended in a victory for France, so we were fighting with our fellow group-member Turkey for a place in the final with them. This match again went the entire 90 minutes without a goal for either side, plus both periods of extra time. The only event of consequence was poor Hammy Ferguson being brutally injured. I can only imagine that the Turkish team did not approve of him being made out of a pork product. Unfortunately, this meant we had to face the dreaded penalty shootout. Well, it turns out that I didn’t actually know how to make my goalkeeper dive for the ball and so this came down to sheer luck. When Turkey fired a shot directly down the middle and into Rab Douglas’ mitts, I knew we had a chance. Shaun Maloney’s perfectly placed penalty sent the Scottish fans into a frenzy, we were into the final!

As can be seen from the France team versus our own Scottish team, there wasn’t so much of a gulf in quality, but instead a vast chasm between the two teams. We would need luck, grit, and perhaps laxatives being smuggled into French water bottles to even have a chance. Luck is exactly what we received, with a deflected ball just sneaking past Fabien Barthez and giving Scotland a narrow lead heading into the second half. Theirry Henry and Zinedine Zidane tested Rab Douglas several times with somewhat terrifyingly powerful shots, but he stood firm. When Shaun Maloney balanced a lofted pass on his chest and fired a volley past Barthez in the 88th minute, our victory was certain. He moved past James McFadden to become the highest-scoring player of the tournament and became my new favourite person in the world!

With a nifty photo shoot and trophy ceremony, the curtain drew on an incredible tournament for Scotland. While this may not be the best FIFA game I’ve played, I’ll remember this hard-won trophy for a while yet.

@nessisonett He Ness, just out of curiosity, why do you write up two decade old fifa reviews? Is it a nostalgia trip down memory lane, or are you practicing your review skills? Or, and I’m just putting it out there, is it an act of pure performance art?

@Mr_B021 A mixture of all of the above! These yearly games are often thrown to the side as soon as the next one releases, so I’m finding it interesting to really see how much improves across entries, or if any games feel like a step back. It does help that the games are from a period of time where I could name practically every player in the league, and so nostalgia does come into play. At the end of the day, you can find about a million reviews for God of War, The Last of Us, Horizon etc on sites like these but FIFA games are consistently the highest selling games on PlayStation, so you’d assume that there’d be at least somebody interested!

@nessisonett Bonus points for working the phrase "upsetti spaghetti" into a professional-quality review!

Another great retrospective, complete with those brilliantly cheesy victory screencaps at the end, too! This one sounds like it became more about the journey for you; the game's bespoke bells and whistles don't seem as distinctive this time around, beyond a graphical lick of paint and some cool modes for footie geeks (which I say with love). Sorry to hear it gave your emulator a kicking, but the shots you've managed to capture are great, and definitely demonstrate that visual uptick.

Have your brave Scots actually faced England in one of these yet? That's gonna be momentous! Also, your joke about the Turkish attitude towards Barry Ferguson made me laugh out loud, and I would pay good money to see Melania Trump in Slovenia's starting eleven. Like, good money.

@RogerRoger Thanks for reading! I’ve still not faced England yet, but surely we’re bound to at some point? Perhaps at the 2006 World Cup! I’ve also realised that there were more FIFA spin-offs than I ever knew about during the mid 00s, so I’m looking forward to covering some genuinely obscure games over the next month. Unfortunately, FIFA 2005’s career mode does a Football Manager and you have to start off at a rubbish team before being hired by a bigger team, so I may have to play a season with Hibs before I can actually get the Celtic job!

@nessisonett Yeah, will you be covering all the nonsense like FIFA Street and whatnot, I wonder?