Topic: The Music Thread

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I wasn’t aware of potential message deletions because I sometimes just take a while to reply.

• I tend to randomly do that for a lot of threads it wasn't anything personal and my own notifications have been a little tricky to keep up with too. I delete replies after people see them mainly because of people's privacy and also because of clutter. Russians don't do small talk, we either go all in (long drawn out and to the point) or not at all, which means a lot of text. By the same token it means caring enough about the question, person or the subject to genuinely respond.

I can't remember what I asked and then deleted but I do remember answering your question about if I had fun in the UAE and I said something along the lines of: It wasn't a one time visit, we do it often and travel to various places is weekly. I referenced the Bedouin as an example, they travel the region/deserts going from resource to resource, they hold their own customs close to their hearts, rules, traditions such as arrangements for relationships etc and we follow a similar way of life. We too have our traditions, rules are important, Family honor is everything and affects everything I do at all times with no exceptions, relationships are arranged and mine is no exception. We're old world and follow those old ways with the main difference being that the globe is our map and we're constantly crossing it over and over again. I like the UAE/the Middle East, I like the people, the culture, the customs, the music and above all else their focus on respect, strictness, and on Family but you asked about fun and I don't really do fun unless it's through hobbies.

I've been everywhere but never done tourist things, technically it would be acceptable and technically that would be seen as fun. I'm lacking whatever it is that makes people want to be a tourist/do those things. I prefer to be as they say chained to the hip, where he goes I go and of course he's much older so his idea of fun is more mature too. Tjuz thought I meant tourism and vacations, I think that's a social media thing. People see what they call jet-set and think it's all one non-stop party and in a way it can be for some and it could be for me but I don't want that. It's too reckless.

The best way I explained it before was that it's just car to plane then car to whichever home, and I generally only get one hour of notice then we're on some other time-zone somewhere else, hence having to be familiar with so many languages in advance. It's all automatic, diplomatic and so on. I'm trying to think of fun things as an example and I'm coming up blank. It's mainly just parties, entertaining guests, then when everyone is finally tired I get excused and turn on a console or a handheld and get my gaming for the day in, I say day but it's usually in the early hours of the morning. That part is fun, the gaming.

The rest is a kind of endless cycle of near nightly parties and representation. I don't mean I party all night either like it means in England. It's more subdued, mature, representation also means my behavior is a reflection on my Partner/Family so fun isn't really an option there either, perhaps I'm allowed one drink perhaps not. There are security concerns too and that also impacts any potential fun. I guess I don't really think about fun, I reserve fun for gaming, hobbies, that sort of thing. You used the word introverted, that's accurate but it's introversion by design, it's how we live, very insular, very I suppose cut-off and very expected. People call it a sphere of influence, I see it more as a bubble, which is why I make little efforts like this to quietly colour outside of the lines. I think nothing gets in and nothing gets out is a good way to put it.

Pokemon didn't get in, nor did Friends, or The Simpsons and some of that is oddly political. I remember being told that My Little Pony was linked to ruination of man, what they really meant was girls can play with them but boys can't. I think I was told that Pokemon was Satanic, obviously I know better. It's sort of hard to have fun when things are that scrutinized. A lot of childhood was preparation to do what I'm doing now, I'm catching up on some of that now. I could I suppose schedule in more fun but I prefer tutors, lessons and outings like this right now on the forum. The alternative might be to slip into a kind of narrow-minded reinforced certainty or entitlement and in my experience once someone goes down that road they don't come back. They gain some kind of dissatisfaction where nothing is ever enough, even when the sky is the limit. I'm trying to avoid that.