Topic: PushSquare Forum Fantasy Critic - 2026

@Ravix Please do alert the authorities all you like! I have a good rapport with them. I'm hoping they can give me an update on this "missing" employee who stopped showing up at work after he allegedly tried to start a union. Ha! The rumour mill sure is something, isn't it? Frankly, I'm not sure what this "biggest face out of Amsterdam" nonsense is supposed to imply. You think my forehead is too big or what?! Shots fired. Quite literally. Check the window of your luxury penthouse. That was a warning shot! Why can't you play platformers? Are your fingers too swelled up from swimming in your Scrooge McDuck money pool? I'll have to ask Claude to come up with a slogan for TjuziMax. Last I checked, the bills for it were in the billions, so I might have to wait for the next fiscal quarter.

And, aha, my reign of terror begins! Underestimate my mad genius at your own peril. What better than to remake an already existing game? No need to hire these "writers" for a new story or "level designers" for new maps. Everything is there for my artists to slave away at and watch the predictably high review scores roll in! Muhaha. No worries, we can run a regulated inquiry. That all goes through a shell company in the Cayman Islands. No one can know who would be able to influence it that way! Or, well, not no one. I've heard whispers of transfers in relation to vampires already being made. I can't be sure if it's real-life ones or 3/10 review scores for Dawnwalker. Only time may tell!

Now, let me just initiate another bonus for being first place. Anyone who attempts to overtake me will come to regret it.

@Ravix But who will be left reviewing my poor helpless little indies? the Push Square cat, no doubt!

• What will you do if your stolen Witches Bakery doesn't get a review?

@GirlVersusGame He'll be sent to the Oubliette.

@Tjuz I had an oubliette for tea, lovely stuff.

If anything you stole it from me, considering i'd heard of it a whole week before you, @GirlVersusGame 😛 which is why I was excited to finally unveil my pick, as I had assumed someone else might have. All hail the context! 🙌 and no reviews = 100% perfection, "no notes". Clearly.

@Tjuz i'm just not very good at platformers. Slow brain they call it, I believe. I'm also far too tired for a full roleplay response, so just know my automatic anti Tjuz cannons are activated at the complex. I know that certified psychopath CEO Tjuz is incapable of any public mishaps, at least if he makes them there will be a suppression of the media, but rumours still circle about that facial faux pas! So please, in all seriousness, do scream that from the top of your lungs in public, as I know you absolutely live for the cringe.

Perhaps there should actually be a forfeit for the loser of this. Although that would be unfair on Rog and Sol when they tie for last place 🫢