Sincere thanks to @Kidfried@Th3solution@AgentCooper@Ralizah@nessisonett and also @Tjuz from an earlier tag in another topic, as well as the handful of others who kindly checked in with me on PSN. I hope this finds y'all happy and healthy...?
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to provide this proof-of-life. I really am very grateful, not to mention flattered to be missed by so many decent folks, and apologise for any concern I've caused. I hope to be able to drop by more often (not least to celebrate Spidey's imminent return by sharing a few thoughts and, let's be honest, what'll probably end up being more than a few screencaps).
"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."
@HallowMoonshadow Hey! Yeah, I haven't been on much. My gaming and online time has been incredibly low since May. It's been a significant period of my life. I've changed more in the last four months than I had in the ten years prior. Mostly for the better.
Happier and healthier than I've been in years, to be honest.
Reading that (and your follow-up reply) has genuinely made my day. Change can be scary, even when it's for the better, so well done for doing everything you've done.
@Kidfried I guess you could say I've barely lived a life until now, dwelling within a thick fog of anxiety, learned helplessness, paralyzing routine, and cynicism. I existed as a stranger in my own skin.
Slowly, over the course of several months now, that fog has been lifting. My initial reaction to this was having my weeks punctuated by crippling depressive episodes (think multiple days at a time where I was practically dead inside). I'm gradually emerging from this psychological torment a far stronger and more connected person, however, and am set on setting aflame the psychological, spiritual, and practical barriers to my own happiness.
@RogerRoger Thanks. It is frightening: there's a sort of comfort in staying sunk within the status quo of one's life and just... rotting there, allowing the days, weeks, and months to pass you in a blur, and that comfort is increasingly disappearing for me. It's a small price to pay for feeling like a human again, though.
@Ralizah The best thing about making that first change, however big or small it might be, is discovering that change is possible to begin with.
After that, the sky's the limit. Feels like unlocking a superpower. Of course, all superhero origin stories feature a set of struggles, and I'm sorry to see yours have been particularly rough, but that makes it all the more impressive that you've chosen to keep going, because it's always quicker and easier to give up and regress. Remember that strength when facing any future difficulties.
You're literally the hero of your own story, and I'm so happy that you're happier.
"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."
Well, I was never fully gone, but my presence online has been diminished for a good while now. I'm at the point where I'd like to start posting every day again.
@RogerRoger Thanks. It's... a lot. It'll take a long time before I get where I want to be, but I can feel myself becoming less ashamed and more open to the world every day, and for now that has to be enough.
Wait, do we have a one-in, one-out rule for regulars now...?!
@Kidfried Hope there's nothing negative behind your break, and that you enjoy whatever you get up to during your time away. This place'll be worse off without you!
@Ralizah I'll spare you yet another sappy Hallmark reply and simply say a heartfelt "welcome back" (and maybe add a quick "you got this" for good measure)!
"We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn't mean that we have to be enemies."
Forums
Topic: Goodbye/Vacation Thread
Posts 1,021 to 1,040 of 1,065
Please login or sign up to reply to this topic