Well, here it is folks, the article that you've all been waiting for. We've finally hit the absolute bottom of the barrel, and so we're bringing you a gallery of PlayStation characters aged through the magic of FaceApp. Behold as we rob Nathan Drake of his youthful vigour, and turn Cloud Strife into a crumpled mess.
We hope that you enjoy it, but more importantly, we hope that you'll forgive us.
Uncharted Series - Nathan Drake, Chloe Frazer
Okay, maybe Nate and Chloe have still got a bit of kick to them, but they're looking worn and torn in their old age. That's what a life of death-defying adventure will do to you, we suppose.
Uncharted Series - Elena Fisher, Victor "Sully" Sullivan
Elena's looking pretty sharp for someone who's had to put up with Nathan Drake for most of her adult life, but Sully... Yeah, the initial plan was to actually de-age Sully and restore his youth, but we thought it'd be more fun to make him super old, and now we feel terrible.
God of War - Kratos
Kratos may look a bit ragged, but even with a few more grey hairs in his beard, we still wouldn't want to mess with him.
Horizon: Zero Dawn - Aloy
Despite spending her life hunting deadly robot dinosaurs, Aloy's not looking too bad, and she's still got that fiery red hair. It's probably all that time spent in the frozen wilds -- they say cold weather can slow the ageing process quite effectively.
Marvel's Spider-Man - Peter Parker
Oh no, what happened, Peter? All that worrying about protecting his friends and family has really taken its toll. We guess that having spider powers can't save you from the ravages of time.
Days Gone - Deacon St. John
Deacon's had a rough ride, and it shows on his now even-more-grizzled mug. At this age, he's gonna need that trusty bike more than ever.
Final Fantasy VII Remake - Cloud Strife
FaceApp refused to recognise Cloud as a man, tagging him as a woman instead. Not that it really matters anyway -- he's looking decidedly rough in his old age, his androgynous charm completely stripped away. This is what mako does to you, kids.
Assassin's Creed Odyssey - Kassandra, Alexios
If Kassandra or Alexios had lived a normal life, this is how they'd look. Probably. The Eagle Bearers still have a certain aura to them, but all those years out in the Greek sun have done some damage.
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Geralt of Rivia
Geralt's already old, but what if he was really old? Like old man Vesemir? Well, the White Wolf would look something like this. We doubt his reflexes are as impressive, but he's still got that spark of deadly intent in his eye.
Red Dead Redemption 2 - Arthur Morgan
Bloody hell Arthur, we know you haven't had the easiest life, but you look knackered.
Yakuza Series - Kazuma Kiryu
Every dragon has its day, and we fear Kazuma Kiryu's days of kicking the snot out of punks in red light districts are all but over. The Dragon of Dojima's still got that determined stare, but we can't see him wrestling big baddies on top of Millennium Tower again. To be fair, if anyone deserves a restful retirement, it's Kaz.
Detroit: Become Human - Connor
What if androids could age? Well here's your answer. Connor's discovered the secret to becoming an actual human, but it's meant that he now has to eat, sleep, go to the toilet, and, of course, grow old and grey. Was it worth it, Connor?
Who's your favourite PlayStation pensioner? Don't you dare tell us it's a slow news day in the comments section below.
Pictures: Stephen Tailby
Words: Robert Ramsey