Ryo Hazuki - Constantly Pursued, Never Interested.

Really hate it. Everytime we utter the words Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing we die a little. Hint, SEGA - this is how you make your game's title better: Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing. We understand though, commercial reasons. Marketing departments. Etc.

Still, if you're anything like us, you'll be massively interested in, sigh, Sonic & SEGA All-Star Racing for one reason: Shenmue's Ryo Hazuki is in it. Well, that and the fact it's a kart racer, which we happen to love.

But do you know how it could be better? If Ryo's jilted hottie on-off missus Nozomi was in it. Here's the heartbreaking part - she was gunna be. Maybe. According to info dug up by Joystiq via a Sonic Stadium forum post by executive producer Steve Lycett, "she was going to ride on the back of Ryo's bike." The problem? "There was the small issue of where she does go when the Forklift appears." If you've seen the trailer, you'd know that Ryo's special "power-up" is summoning his forklift from the original Shenmue game.

If the game is already bonkers enough to incorporate an 80's Japanese martial arts God, driving a forklift through Greenhill Zone next to a talking Hedgehog, well - just have her vanish or something? By the way - the levels of bonkers in, ahem, Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing is not to be knocked. It's exactly how the game should be.

But why stop at the last hurdle? Let's have Joy in there too, eh? In fact, hell, let's just have a separate Shenmue themed kart racer all together. It could be called Ryo Hazuki & Shenmue All-Stars Racing, perhaps?