Topic: The Chit Chat Thread

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@Werehog I moved it over here. I'll do a 1 and a 2, I already know it won't fit.

This is # 1

I may have to edit for typing mistakes.

Do you know though I noticed something? You previously said you had some trouble finding the self-confidence to take some new screenshots? Then we talked about LGBT things, you explained them in a way that made sense to you and with a passion. That picture you posted today, the second one with the flag, might look like just another one of your action shots but it captured everything you said, it's powerful, it's action and actions speak louder than words.

There's an enormous amount of social pressure and expectation, at least in our culture, where outgoing traits are celebrated as being "normal" and "healthy" and the opposite is true, that introverts should be forced "out of their shells" for their own good.

• This I didn't know at all. I think someone tried to explain it here before as 'I wanted to stay in and game, they wanted to go to the Pub'. No one ever forced me out of anywhere, if anything it might be the other way around. My only reference point again is a big comfy cardboard box, incredibly safe but they were temporarily taken away because it was seen as unhealthy, now my Partner is fine with them again. It's either that or give me live ammunition at home, he doesn't want that either. I think, and could be wrong, that a box to him feels like a purchase and he doesn't want to feel like he purchased me, he prefers to know that I gave myself over willingly. If I'm right it's because he has that proper mindset that is necessary for this dynamic to safely function. I know what you are saying, my therapist would call that exposure therapy, I don't think you should force anyone out of anything, just be glad they are happy with their hobbies, interests and boxes. Her method was 'here try a VR helmet and lets go for a walk', it didn't work.

I do not take praise well, but I'm trying to do better in that regard, and so I'm forcing myself to highlight it. Thank you, really.

• I won't say 'you should because your screenshots and words are so well done', because if you said that to me I wouldn't register it properly either. I'd find flaws in all of it, partly because perfection is expected in life, one hair out of place is a no no, that too is normalized, praise isn't unless it comes with head pats and treats, you could try that, don't knock it until you try it as they say. I don't know what sound hedgehogs make, it can't be all that different to a mew and think of all of those treats too. I shouldn't say it but fudge it, it's funny. When my Ex took my PS5 I tortured him with squeaky toys for days, eventually he cut the squeaks out, then got me new ones, I tortured him again, he then gave me back my PS5. Don't do that to your Guy.

and while they're all surface-level things that mean nothing in the grand scheme, it's that kinda stuff people use to make snap judgements. The most common response I used to get, from friends, family and strangers alike, was, "No, you're not gay, you can't be!" and as much as I understood that those words were never any kind of order or anything... well, let's just say hearing them didn't exactly help.

• Sorry that happened to you, that's why I left my original response there because I assumed too, but they have no excuse because they probably knew things like camp existed. I thought it meant a tent, or shooting someone over and over again in a game. I wonder too if they were externalizing their own inability to recognize what was in-front of them all along? So while yes it was ignorant and hurtful they were demonstrating a lack of perception. And that in doing so they said all of the wrong things, when really they do care and lacked the skills to show it.

as dangerous as they can be, stereotypes exist for a reason)

• This I understand. I did a very brief week or so in school and everyone (children) thought I was going to have them put in suitcases, poisoned with Novichok (weaponized toxin) and all of the other hundred or so mentions. They were mostly all Saudis here to be educated, one girl was different, she was a Royal, we found some commonalities. We were both weird, but she had never seen a movie, none. I asked what she did with her time at home 'just wandered', I did too but I had movies and things. I don't know what she had. Adults make such a assumptions too, I just shrug it off now. I think they see a lot of guns, ink, and assume, perhaps I would too. It happened a lot of Paris fashion week and I almost got out of the conversation by saying I was a Communist, I'm not but they didn't know how to answer, then I found a spot on the floor and went to sleep under the table until we left and I went back to playing Infinite Wealth the game not the life. I probably shouldn't say this too but that night I called Jeff Bezos the man who played Peter Parker's boss in Spiderman, I'd never seen him before.

He sounds like a proper jerk. Actually, he sounds like a lot of much stronger words, but this is a family forum, so we'll go with "proper jerk" for now. I'm glad you got out.

• Just a Psychopath who was also Sadist, not all Dominant People are Sadists (it's a misconception, one of many) but all Sadists are Dominant and running into the latter can be dangerous. I was in his eyes a non-entity, and he treated me as such. I wanted to give, he wanted to take, it's a very real mindset. They exist in normal society too, anyone can cross their paths, even in a 'normal' relationship. Which is why it's worrying to know that people in the LGBT community have to sometimes stick to the shadows themselves, isolation can be an open door, as can desperation, and by that I mean when a person is forced to have to go outside of those norms to find that other person, for company and comfort. I think both of our societies push their own to those corners, they want them out of view, and monsters lurk in the shadows.

Quite a few of the forum regulars don't post in the comments, and vice versa. Different worlds with different objectives and, as you unfortunately discovered, totally different vibes.

• My friend said these types of forums are a relic of the internet that she and many of our Group once knew, and it's a big part of why they steered me here in the first place. She said she knew some of you too, and won't elaborate. I just know that here and the DeepWeb is similar in how it does use forums/chatrooms, it's old school for old schoolers. People think it's all Hacker kids over there, it's mostly Adults with their own morals, Ethics and opinions. I see some of that here too, passion too, people care about the things they discuss. I think passion offline is replaced with power, I combine the two and it works, my head stays above the water.

The forums are far less public-facing and so far more chill, and far more open for people to be themselves, without fear of attack.

• I'm at the point now where if someone did say something to me in the Forums I'd just remind them that they could be doing literally anything else with their night, and leave it at that. I don't want to bother Moderators, I'm sure they already have enough things to do. I'd hate to do that job, seeing angry people, hateful comments, that can't be good.

No, we met through work. Bless him, he "tolerates" my interests, the same way I make an effort to engage with his.

• Once again, another thing I relate to. With Witchcraft it was funny because even once all of the spooky stuff was on the table, his response was 'I trust that you know what you are doing and I won't worry too much unless I walk in there one day and find you floating in mid-air, then I'm calling a Priest'. I still find it funny but almost every interest I have he doesn't, and yet we work really well together, there's a song, I'll find it.

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@Werehog I moved it over here. I'll do a 1 and a 2, I already know it won't fit.

This is # 2

He'll often tease me that "Mario is better than Sonic" and crack silly jokes to undercut Godzilla, Star Wars, etc.

• Sonic is better, my source? I played one Mario game, perhaps three Sonics. Tell him he's outnumbered.

No. I think empathy is real, and I think that sometimes people wanna label their own brand.

• This I absolutely do believe but my friend swears she has (checks) 'finely tuned Gaydar' and 'trust me on this kats, I know the way', so I have to agree with you both. It sounds more like a mystical power of perception than a label. Tjuz said he has one too.

Yes! Although I'm not a big fan of zoos, as they tend to make the animals perform for the crowds and I think that's cruel

• That's why we stopped going too and instead go to pet-farms, it's safer too. I'm good with wolves, bears, certain wildcats but there are still risks. I was headbutted recently by a goat, that's as rough as it gets. Chased by some chickens too, all of those animals looked and lived healthier and freer, except, there was a lesson there too. One day we were sat for lunch, the man said 'are you enjoying that patte?', I said of course, he pointed to the window and said I'd just eaten one of his ducks. It was a life lessons as in, this is where food comes from. That was my Partner's way of doing it. Back home's way of doing it was me seeing a burger, asking to finally try fast food, I took a few bites said I was full. That burger came with me all day, everywhere we went. I had to eat every bit of that thing, it had layers. The rest I can't talk about, needless to say I understand the value of food now. I prefer the duck way but don't really eat unless he uses certain methods, it's psychology, without those methods I won't eat anything, for days, etc. The file that says 'I'm hungry' it's removed, quite a few are, he tried some reboots.

Luck of the draw. It's better than it used to be, but kids can still be cruel, bigots can still feel entitled, and hate crime is still a very real issue.

• That's something I picked up from talking to Tjuz months ago. He tried to explain the same thing, I tried to explain a security detail and we both sort of pondered it away between ourselves for a few days. It was odd to both parties. I don't have to think about hate crimes, I have to think of what happened to that idiot who tried to lift my phone. He got the ever loving Jesus beaten out of him and police came, questioned everyone (which was memorable for them too) we were issued an apology and told that if and when it came to court the Embassy would handle it. I hope he never tried to steal a phone again, but I didn't want to see that outcome either.

If it happened to you (theft) or worse, then it's a solo affair and if hate was involved, even worse. In Moscow the most dangerous day of the year is Hitler's birthday, all of those types walk the street looking to do serious harm, and anyone different, they don't. It can end in deaths, and does. That's more or less why I broke ranks and sneaked online, I saw some really bad things relating to hate crimes, no one would explain why it was 'right', I couldn't sleep, it made no sense how it was okay for me to be technically gay, but it was hated and worse for others. It's because the people who make the rules don't follow them, I truly believe that, I'm living proof of it.

there's the flip-side of that glamorous coin. When I was with my Ex he did something in a hotel lobby, to me, I won't say what he did, I need to be appropriate. A member of staff called the police, two came and a detective, they asked for the employee, who was then fired, my Ex was issued an apology and the night continued. That's not money, that's power and it can go both ways. People turned a blind eye, but for one person and they lost their job because of it.

Another example, in finishing school I tried to help someone by buying them a new phone. She talked a lot about her children in Morocco and her phone had a broken lens, sure enough after her next trip to and back she showed me pictures. They had very little, she was sending her money home so that her children could have a better life, even her husband was back there.

The house Madam found out, fired her to teach me a lesson. Another part of the infraction was because I'd read that a marine once said 'if you can make your bed in the morning you can do anything', so I did and that was also used against her. It bothered me then, and still does and that is 'normality'. I don't do as People do, I do as they say, that's the difference.

Google tells me the top five are Canada, Iceland, Malta, the Netherlands, and Spain, so I guess I'm lucky, because I like Canada and Iceland.

• One of the last locations my friend that fled was, Iceland. I tracked her flight from Saint Petersburg to Reykjavík then left things as they are now. I imagine you were given that result by Google for the same reason, it makes sense geographically. It's only a few hours direct. It makes me happy to at least know it's welcoming and safe for LGBT people.

Yes, a lot, and it's always disappointing.

• I'm not sure how to reply to that, words won't fix it. People can only fix their attitudes and if they want to wallow in ignorance then leave them to their own devices in their own space where you don't have to suffer that same ignorance.

I'm on record as being furious with certain story-driven games for forcing "me" to partake in a straight romance when others have, at the very least, included the courtesy of an option not to (and indeed, the best gay protagonists are found in RPGs where everything's already an option anyway, and none of your choices are canon).

• The part I don't get is just like real life no one is forcing me to have a girlfriend, he's happy I do because he's a man and there are benefits for him too. But if tomorrow I play an RPG and it says 'alright kat you can romance this man or this girl, it's up to you' my response would be 'why not both at the same time?', that's how my mind works. I'd never think 'this game is rubbish because it offers a gay option', there's no gun to my head, so why should I care? all it's doing is forcing choice away from those who deserve to choose in the first place. I can choose any optional mechanic in a game, removal of choice is only a good thing if you consent to having it removed, you didn't, you're money is as green as everyone else's and that needs to be brought into consideration when Developers are making those types of games.

What is happening on here? First Northern_Munky crossed the streams and entered ChitChat and now Mr. Smith (Neuromancer) is in the Movie Thread, I had to check I wasn't looking at the main page/articles, it's funny but surprising too.

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@Metonymy I need to split this into two parts, I know it won't fit.

This was # 1

I can understand why your parents might have been a little (or a lot) freaked out. If one of our kids had a dream and began talking about things they shouldn’t know…well, I guess I’m not sure how I would take it. But I can imagine it’d be a little freaky.

• I'll give more context because you shared something too. So one of the things I was told over there to mention as proof to my Parents when I 'got back' was that night I briefly mentioned to you about courting. I told my Mum that part too. What those 'people' up 'yonder' said was the following: That my Parents were parked in the forest listening to music, then radio turned off, the car turned off, something went through the car (whatever that means) a year later I was born. A year to the day. Then they talked about my blood-type and how they follow old families, even Masonry was mentioned. Why do 'people' in the afterlife care about me joining a Lodge? I didn't join, I passed their investigation process, proved my moral standing and can still join as a daughter of a Master Mason, only daughters and wives of one can join that Lodge, but I didn't go through with it. So why do people up there even care, it made me almost want to join to find out. My whole Family are Masons, but they don't talk to me about it. The female wing is for charity, philanthropy, to learn to be a good daughter/wife etc, it's old world like me, so it's normal but there's nothing normal about hearing the Lodge mentioned in another density. I say density because they called their worlds densities not dimensions. They were very clear on that just like how I told you what we call clouds in biblical texts they call membranes, then sure enough string theory matched their description word for word.

I was six when I told my Mum that and her response was 'there's more and I might tell you on my death-bed', she's a young woman, she had me very young, I need to know what 'more' means. The date is significant too because my Grandma passed on my birthday one year, and my Greatgrandma on the next, that to me is really weird. A near death experience itself is weird but that was a fluke accident, they didn't know someone would try to remove me from this side either, they were just as shocked that I was 'there' with them and not where I was supposed to be. Then like the four? or five pages I wrote to you? I was given months of a tour, so much information, and those after affects, that have thankfully hushed a little.

But two women going on the same date, with only one-year apart? I can't make sense of that, I can make sense of the things I saw over there because they explained it. If a word didn't exist in my vocabulary then they couldn't use it, so they used pictures and demonstrations instead. None of it was speech, it was just there, full conversations and they said because I was so non-verbal it was easier for them.

Another thing. Years ago back home, we'd been out visiting Someone. I'm bad with directions but if you look at your left hand, we were facing/driving that direction. I stopped to look at my Mum and her eyes were fixed to the right, then I saw it too. It looked like a big round orange ball, it came out of the trees and followed us for I don't know how long. It was about as far away as two doors laid flat. I was told 'it was gas' it wasn't, it followed us perfectly, we turned, it did too.

And fudge it I'll provide an example for this next one. This happened somewhere with protected military airspace. We were coming over the sea, about twenty minutes to landing and something appeared once again on the right side, it followed our plane all the way in, then went up and was gone. No one talked about it, I was sent to bed when we landed. I woke-up, it was dark outside but it was that usual feeling of 'hey kat look outside'. I saw this. And you bet I took a picture this time, I sent it to my friends too.

First it was one light, as you see here.

Then 'oh wow it's two now guys', one went up, the other down, then it become one red light again and and zoomed up and was gone. It lasted at least ten-minutes. I'd never showed 'civilians' in real-time. The night I talked to you and told you my head was buzzing, I went and looked, there was a big round light, I thought it was the moon, I looked behind me and saw the moon, looked back and the other one was gone.

I'd seen something similar years ago with my Dad. We were visiting a submarine base, I was nine at best. Something round and silver dropped down, everyone watched it, then it zoomed right up again, no one talked about it. The day of the invasion we were one of the only flights not grounded because it was diplomatic and it was our aircraft, there were a lot of weird things up there. They weren't drones. That's the same day my nightmares of nuclear explosions started, it's been years, I still have them. There's more to that too, which I can't go into, it's still happening and still raw. What came after talked about that too.

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@Metonymy This was # 2

Furious's reaction on Goodreads was 'hmmm almost one-thousand books on UFOlogy?' so I explained why, he mentioned having gone to a retreat to see something. I was six when I had that first experience, I didn't know what God was, what death was or what an extraterrestrial was. I watched Disney and only Disney. I came back with so much 'tell them this, mention my name' etc, the afterlife stuff I'm fine with, the other stuff I saw, it lit such a fire. And I bloody well knew you were going to say you saw something too, don't ask me why. This happens a lot when I find that one person and 'oh by the way'.

I'll tell you what happened in New York too. I had a friend over (the last after that night) we had two chairs side by side, both of us were getting ready to watch a movie, then it was like a switch was flipped and we both 'fell asleep', we both 'woke-up' at the exact moment right as those end credits rolled. We lost two-hours, I never saw them again, I've lost time plenty of time before, never with another person present. I told Lesley (the journalist) her best-friend had been a man named Budd Hopkins, he wrote many books on fourth encounter experiences, sure enough someone else experienced the same thing, in a pair.

It’s interesting to be living in a time where the powers that be have publicly confirmed the existence of ufo’s while also saying that they don’t exactly know what they are.

• In Russia we never did hide it as much, America did because of religion. Those men at the top were all hardcore Christians, they saw things that challenged their beliefs. They had to admit to themselves that God created more than humans, they saw it as Satanic and their fear was then that it would destroy religion as we know it. When I was 'up yonder' they told me the biggest secret of the afterlife wasn't the continuation of non-local consciousness, it was that we aren't all there is, those other 'people' looked like us but they weren't us. I know that sounds crazy, those two-minutes of being physically dead were months for me, I remember every single detail, it's clearer than any other memory or experience I've ever had. They said other things that I'll never share with anyone, I hide some of what I write down.

It’s a weird story that I don’t really tell people but it 100% happened.

• Is almost word for word what so many people have told me from all walks of life. Usually it's 'well kat that's weird and I don't believe in ghosts etc but', and they'll tell me about seeing a Parent or Grandparent before they passed, or something in the sky. Something never told anyone before. This happens every time I share with that one specific person. That's the part that I don't get, you are in Canada, we don't know each other but you just happen to have seen something up there. I don't know what those odds are.

Honestly, how boring would eternity be if we had all the answers in this life? 😂

• For me it's finding legitimate people who experienced what I did. Not crazy people who remove the science of what I saw, everything I saw was science, they called God the Big Bang, described it identically to what I eventually read when I got older. People in the near death community weren't looking for these things either, they came back changed, and never talk about that 'other' that they all saw.

Sometimes there are moments of 'wait a minute I experienced that too', I'll provide an example (checking my messages) An English man fell off a platform, was dragged under a speeding train, died, surgeons brought him back. I listened to him talk, he mentioned something no one else had but that I'd seen too. I told him word for word what I'd seen, shared some paintings and he recognized it too and 'oh that's fascinating kat, thank you for sharing'. He was also freaked out because the UFO field and the Spiritual field don't want to mix, I can tell you right now, it's all the same thing, I'm absolutely positively sure.

So many people don't want to admit that 'other' side to the otherside. Whitley Streiber was the first person to tell me what he left out of Communion, then that neurosurgeon told me what he left out of his book too, they all left that part out. Every publisher said you can't tell people, that the book won't sell. The woman who lived in the Conjuring house? I talked to her and she admitted that sure enough she experienced a lot more than that house. She saw her first UFO when she was my age, her Grandma would watch them from her window. I admit it because I know what I experienced, it changed my life, the same for so many other people. I still write to people in the field, and I did actually have something written for you about the movie you mentioned which I'll eventually finish and share. There's an important distinction there that divides that community too and another part that I don't understand but find fascinating.

I just grabbed one of my journals, I'll share some of what was shared. 'hunger divides the world', again these are old, I was a child and I wrote 'there is a need for balance and it's not being met, Third world countries are the biggest example of an unbalanced society that values personal gains over community stability'. I didn't even know what the Third World was. And this next part again as a child 'Anti-worlds exist, made of anti-matter, it's a counterpart of the 'real' universe that we live in'. This again as a child 'the secret of death is to be found at the rate of speed at which the outer shell vibrates, humans are aware of the visible world due to the rate of speed at which the body is traveling. The soul must pass from one body traveling at a certain vibration, to another traveling at a different rate of time' then there was something about a period of rest and now as an Adult I think 'rest' was that 'Heaven' place they showed me where they projected memories holographically into non-physical space. This one still sticks out to me 'knowledge is not wisdom, wisdom comes from within the person, it cannot be taught, a person who is wise does not say they are wise. One who is wise detaches, steps back, observes, and knows when to go forward without the Ego of exploitation'.

I found something similar in Stoicism as an Adult, not as a child, so you can see why my Parents said never even to tell anyone. Ah bingo I found a mention of densities 'we exist as a continuum of densities, the less dense we become the more holographic we are' then they talked about needing no particular skill to reach them just love, and that the key is stable attention. After that there are pages and pages about other dimensions, corridors and connections. I'll add this last part then go to bed because I haven't read some of these in years 'as the universe expands throughout eternity there will always be new knowledge, new colour, and new sound, foundations for elevation, compassion, courage, charity and kindness', then there's about fifty pages about 'up there'. And that is just one journal, I still keep dream journals too, I draw those things, paint them, and I keep it all quietly under lock and key because it's absolutely bonkers even if the science makes sense. I know what I was supposed to do when I came back here, I can't do that thing, my Family will never allow it. The best I can do is put it all down on paper somewhere, I hardly share any of this with people in the field either. I believe in objective evidence, there are too many charlatans and scoundrels who want to use that connection to milk vulnerable people, it's impossible for me to prove any of it, and I don't want to change anyone's mind, but God damn if it's not really interesting, I can't stop reading my journals now. I'm seeing things and realizing that 'oh now I understand'. But it just hit twenty past three in the AM so I need to stop reading and go to bed, and funnily enough I wrote about the importance of sleep too. I know what they meant about that now too.