TAXI CHAOS! That could be the name of a game simulating the experience of loitering in a Newcastle taxi rank at 4AM drunkenly nursing a tray of cheesy chips, and if it was, we'd undoubtedly be more excited about it than we are about this game which is just a Crazy Taxi clone.
If the game were good we'd perhaps be inclined to call Taxi Chaos a homage to Crazy Taxi but it's not, so we won't. We'll go with "shameless rip-off" instead. Taxi Chaos is to Crazy Taxi as Creed is to Pearl Jam, and if you're not old enough to understand that reference then you're probably not old enough to fit into the target demographic for this game.
Here's the gist: if you loved Crazy Taxi on Dreamcast and you've ever thought, "Man, I wish somebody would just make this game again only without the soundtrack or the charm and without making any discernible improvements to the formula," then this game is going to be right up your alley. Honestly, we've got the Crazy Taxi nostalgia, and there were a couple of moments playing Taxi Chaos when our rose-tinted spectacles had us grinning.
But then cooler heads prevailed. We take our reviewing seriously here at Push Square, and that's why we slapped those nostalgia goggles from our faces and gazed upon Taxi Chaos in the cold light of day with a critical eye and the verdict was clear: Taxi Chaos is a dated, boring, charmless fare-'em-up, with barely enough content to see you through a commercial break.
You drive and pick up a fare. Then you drive and drop off the fare. For some reason your taxi can jump. The quicker you get your punter to their destination of choice the more points you get and then after 90 seconds the session ends. Then you do it all again and try to get a better score. There's different taxis to unlock and a couple of characters to play as and that's pretty much all there is to it.
If all you want is a facsimile of Crazy Taxi that you can play without dusting off your old Dreamcast then Taxi Chaos just about fits the bill. But that's all it does. For anybody coming into this without the benefits of nostalgia or more money than sense, Taxi Chaos is just a dull arcade driver with precious little to offer other than the dubious pleasure of chasing a high score. Send this one to scrap yard.