If you were ever lucky enough to star in a Hideo Kojima game, have you wondered what name he would come up with for your character? The Metal Gear Solid franchise and the recent Death Stranding have proven that the man himself loves coming up with the most bizarre titles for both his allies and antagonists, so Polygon has taken it upon themselves to create a scientifically proven method that allows you to form your own name before Kojima even has the chance to ask.
In order to work it out, all you'll need to do is complete an 11-page worksheet consisting of 13 sections that cover the likes of your personal information, whether you'll be a clone or not, and your horny name. You'll even have a cool name, a violent title, and one that lacks subtext. We did tell you this generator is steeped in science, proof of which is that some factors will be decided by dice rolls. There's nothing more certain than dice rolls, folks.
We expect every Push Square reader to print out the document and follow along in order to form their own Hideo Kojima-themed name. Let us know the results in the comments below.