Valentine's Day Snog Marry Avoid

Snog Marry Avoid may be the name of a trashy Jenny Frost-hosted makeover show, but it's also the basis of our obligatory Valentine's Day premium #Content for you all. We've collated some of the most famous names in PlayStation, and we want to play a simple game: which of these icons would you snog, marry, or avoid?

So that there can be no confusion: 'snog' means you're willing to give them a cheeky kiss with tongues but without commitment; 'marry' means you're ready to walk down the aisle with the love of your life; and 'avoid' means that you're poised to run the other way like from those peeps on Tinder who paste date reviews in their profile.



Pros: Built like a Greek Adonis because… Well, he is one, physical specimens don't get much more toned than Kratos. The former God of War and the son of Zeus, many goddesses have lauded the skin-headed deity destroyer's skills in the sack.

Cons: Tends to put it about a bit and wears the ashes of his dead family upon his skin, Kratos has a real anger management problem and apocalyptic Daddy issues.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Kratos? (113 votes)

  1. Snog9%
  2. Marry4%
  3. Avoid87%

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Sly Cooper


Pros: A dashing young raccoon with perfectly groomed fur, Sly Cooper may just be the most handsome mammal in the animal kingdom. A keen reader of the Thievius Raccoonus and the owner of a rather regal cane, the 'Coop may just be a keeper.

Cons: He has a tendency to let his fingers wander while getting intimate, so make sure you keep your wallet in a safe place. A man's man, Sly's often away on "business" with pals Bentley and Murray, while his on-off girlfriend Carmelita has a short-fuse and is definitely the jealous type.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Sly Cooper? (104 votes)

  1. Snog25%
  2. Marry10%
  3. Avoid65%

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Pros: A homemaker who exudes natural girl-next-door beauty, Elena has an eye for adventure, never misses a hot story, and is particularly forgiving of light-fingered types.

Cons: Tends to keep close tabs on her other-half during long foreign trips and knows her way around a loaded weapon if you catch our drift.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Elena? (120 votes)

  1. Snog33%
  2. Marry61%
  3. Avoid6%

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Ignis Scientia


Pros: Ignis, or Iggy as his close friends call him, is more than happy to be your personal chauffeur. A man of class, he's a fantastic cook and his loyalty knows no bounds. He's also got one hell of a voice.

Cons: No one's quite sure what Iggy's hairstyle is all about, and if you don't keep him supplied with the best ingredients that money can buy, you'd better get used to having toast for dinner. He may also wake you up in the dead of the night to tell you about one of his "new recipes".

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Ignis? (102 votes)

  1. Snog19%
  2. Marry17%
  3. Avoid65%

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Kazuma Kiryu


Pros: Kiryu's a man of experience, he can handle his drink, he's always up for a karaoke party, he has a cool dragon tattoo, and perhaps most importantly, he's really good with kids.

Cons: People close to Kaz usually end up getting shot at some point, and he has questionable fashion sense. He's also prone to bouts of street thuggery.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Kazuma Kiryu? (95 votes)

  1. Snog15%
  2. Marry14%
  3. Avoid72%

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Pros: Pretty as a picture and custom-made, 2B – better known as YoRHa No.2 Type B – rocks the ol' LBD better than any android we know, and she knows how to handle large swords. Wink, wink.

Cons: Two is company but three's a crowd, so 2B's ever-present robot companion may ever so slightly spoil the romantic mood.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid 2B? (110 votes)

  1. Snog65%
  2. Marry22%
  3. Avoid13%

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Pros: Sharp-witted and super intelligent, Clank's metal exterior may be cold to touch but you'll find warm reams of C# in his beating robot core.

Cons: There ain't no one coming between Clank's bromance with Ratchet; the close pals are quite literally inseperable (in both game name and gameplay), and are often far too pre-occupied, y'know, saving the world.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Clank? (99 votes)

  1. Snog20%
  2. Marry17%
  3. Avoid63%

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Ezio Auditore da Firenze


Pros: Good looking and complemented by a jaw line sharp enough to cut diamonds, the extravagantly named Ezio Auditore di Firenze is an able-bodied Italian stallion who ages like a fine wine.

Cons: Lived during the Renaissance period, so currently exists as a fettered corpse in a Florence tomb. Even when living, Ezio had his flaws – not least his obsession with slitting the throats of nobles, speaking with an irritatingly optimistic inflection, and spending a questionable amount of time lying in haystacks.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Ezio? (92 votes)

  1. Snog22%
  2. Marry12%
  3. Avoid66%

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Pros: Where Crash Bandicoot was lumped with a goofy face and a stumpy body due to Dr. Neo Cortex's weird experiments, girlfriend Tawna walked away from the lab looking like Jessica Rabbit. A quick Google search reveals a shocking amount of, er, art based on this buxom bandicoot, so she's clearly got a following of dedicated fans.

Cons: Tawna's a bandicoot with boobies, and we're just not sure that there's much more to her character than that. Plus, Crash went on a whole death-defying adventure to rescue her – he probably won't take kindly to anyone who tries to steal her away again.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Tawna? (102 votes)

  1. Snog48%
  2. Marry6%
  3. Avoid46%

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Pros: Raiden's robotic body means that he's capable of fulfilling just about any physical task. He can chop fruit and vegetables faster than any normal person, and he's still a pretty boy at heart. He's also a great listener as long as you're speaking to him via codec.

Cons: We've tried to find out if cyborg Raiden actually has a penis, but the reports that we've read are conflicted.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Raiden? (87 votes)

  1. Snog16%
  2. Marry8%
  3. Avoid76%

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Pros: Determined and always ready for action, Ryu never loses focus. He's strong, values friendship, and has a sweet beard in Street Fighter V.

Cons: Ryu has all the personality of a brick, and as someone who's always on the move looking for his next fight, he probably stinks.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Ryu? (86 votes)

  1. Snog22%
  2. Marry13%
  3. Avoid65%

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Yennefer of Vengerberg


Pros: Ageing isn't really a problem for Yen, and despite living in a world that's stuffed with dung-soaked peasants, she's got refined tastes when it comes to fashion. A daring lover with a deceptively strong sense of humour, many an admirer has fallen for this sorceress' charms.

Cons: Although she'd argue that it's always for the greater good, Yennefer can be a little manipulative. She's also prone to snap at those who question her, and she certainly has a stubborn side to her personality. We imagine a fate worse than death awaits those who would dare cross her.

Would you snog, marry, or avoid Yennefer? (109 votes)

  1. Snog39%
  2. Marry53%
  3. Avoid7%

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