We can picture it now: a PR person in a trendy office with a whiteboard desperately trying to think of a fashionable way to promote Mafia III without flinging early access codes at uncompromisingly enthusiastic YouTubers. The only problem is that he has to somehow link the game, which takes place in a fictional representation of New Orleans, to London, where the PR stunt is going to take place.
Suddenly, it hits him as he takes a sip of his office coffee. Coffee - coffee for 10p just like it was in the 1960s. He's going to make it so some coffee shop in central London is going to sell coffee for 10p to promote Mafia III. But wait - it gets better: he's also going to hire cockney nutter Vinnie Jones to be a "celebrity barista", because he's a gangster and all that. And that's what Mafia III is about, innit.
Seriously, this is something that's really going to happen on the 7th October at the TimberYard Seven Dials coffee shop in London. There'll even be "a Mafia III-inspired gunpowder ingredient" available courtesy of food "architects" Bompas and Parr. The press release reads: "Served in empty bullet cartridges, the gunpowder will add a mighty mobster-style punch to customers' coffee in celebration of the hard-boiled story of crime at the heart of Mafia III." God help us all.
There's a catch, though - you're not getting 10p coffee for (almost) nothing, you bloody cheapskate. Indeed, if you really do want that precious shot of mid-morning caffeine, you're going to have to tweet #MafiaIII and #10pCoffee, forever labelling yourself as just another cog in the corporate machine.
Surely though, your soul is but a small price to pay when you're sipping coffee that food architects Bompas and Parr have meticulously crafted - a beverage that Vinnie Jones himself has poured into an empty bullet cartridge just for you.
Lincoln Clay would do the same.
Comments 28
They should have just given early access to Lirik and Cohhcarnage on twitch that would have got the hype up. Even Vinnie Jones serving me a 10p coffee would not persade me to get this game. For that matter it would not make any difference who served me coffee there would be no chance of me getting this game.
Food architects? Who and who?
Get in the feckin' sea!
But I hope the game is decent. Quite interested, as I enjoyed Mafia 2 on PS3. Not sure enough to pre-order, though.
You have been asked several times now to watch the language I won't ask anymore. -Tasuki-
@Mergatro1d @DamienVonOslo @Drawfull We make the rules around here, we have shite privileges when necessary.
Next up, Trevor McDonald selling Lucozade for 5p in preparation for Final Fantasy XV
This is nothing; Acclaim would have left life like mannequins bodies floating in the Thames with a copy of the game in their jacket. Or put out a hit of the persons choice to the first 5 people to legally change their name to Mafia III.
@ShogunRok haha, as Ellie might say, "I'm just f*ckin' with ya"
@Drawfull I know, I know, but I hope you all realise that I campaign daily to protect your right to say in the comments section. I've got banners and everything around the office.
I hope this comes to the U.S.
Language -Tasuki-
@ShogunRok Just refer your colleagues to the Guardian's view on profanity both in articles and BTL
https://www.theguardian.com/media/mind-your-language/2010/apr/14/swearing-guardian They did a better piece more recently, but I can't find it. However, the salient point to take from their article is that asterisks are a cop out.
As if I wasnt dubious enough about this game. Now im all but convinced its gonna be shi..
@ShogunRok lol thanks for campaigning on our behalf! Back on topic, this marketing stunt is inane and completely irrelevant to the game. I'm going to pick up Tomb Raider first and get this on sale one day, irrespective of any marketing antics.
What the bloody hell even is this?! Although to be fair, Mafia III has the same levels of incongruence. For example, the ability to call a weapons dealer from almost any point on the map, even though it's set in the bloody sixties.
@Churchy Not to mention the fact that Lincoln Clay can somehow activate detective mode and see enemies through walls. Vietnam gave him some pretty special powers.
@ShogunRok When I saw it at Gamescom I personally dubbed it Clay-Vision.
@Churchy Very good!
@ShogunRok Joel does more or less the same thing and no one gave him for it... Lol
Language -Tasuki-
except coffee wasn't 10p in the 1960s because the UK didn't decimalise its currency until 1971. so it would probably have been 2 farthings and a sixepence or something. thankfully i was born well after decimalisation.
For all the language experts swearing ain't cool
in fact it is a sign of nervousness.
Life's a Beach not in Kent.
@ShogunRok can we have Malcolm Tucker do a guest review for Mafia III
I don't know what you are talking about and I'm fine with that.
There's no such thing as bad publicity! Haha it will definitely get lots of people talking and MAFIA 3 subconsciously in their heads.
That being said, I'd pay 10p to throw my coffee over Vinnie "I'm the Jaggernawwwwt, b*tch!" Jones any day!
They had free cookies from 7-11 in the student union today, they tasted like what windex smells like, I wonder how this coffee will be.
Did someone get told off for the previous headline for this story? @shogunrok
@Nifty Not necessarily told off, just... just persuaded by our overlord @get2sammyb to make it a little less aggressive.
@ShogunRok as in horse's head persuaded?
@ShogunRok
"Not to mention the fact that Lincoln Clay can somehow activate detective mode and see enemies through walls. Vietnam gave him some pretty special powers."
You don't know man, you weren't there.
Tap here to load 28 comments
Leave A Comment
Hold on there, you need to login to post a comment...