"Alright, who broke the servers?"

Furthering developer Rockstar Games’ reluctance to do anything by convention, accessing Grand Theft Auto V’s hotly anticipated multiplayer mode is almost as complicated as quantum physics. In order to give you a helping hand, we’ve put together this handy walkthrough to get you connected to the online iteration of sunny Los Santos in five simple steps.

If you’re struggling with server issues, however, sadly this guide won’t help you. The developer’s said that it’s looking into the inevitable issues, which we suspect will take some time to solve. All that you can do is keep trying to join, and you might get lucky. Or you could go and do something else, and cross your fingers that it’s fixed by the time that you get back. (It won’t be.)