Remember: Duke Nukem Is Never Sexist. Every Other Video Game Is.

Uh-oh, time for the sexist white knights to jump on their horse and ride to the rescue — guess what, Duke Nukem Forever objectifies women? Hang on, wait a minute, Duke Nukem? Is that the sound of a thousand angsty nobodies dismounting their horse? Sure — because in any other video game this would be deemed "sexist" by said sensitive types, but Duke Nukem always gets a free pass.

Mainly because it's "funny". Supposedly.

Take Duke Nukem Forever's "Capture The Babe" mode. It's a play on Capture The Flag. Get it? The twist is, instead of picking up a pole and ribbon, your letching after a "babe" that's prone to sporadically "freaking out". How do you put a stop to her whining? Give her a good ol' smack on the rear. Great.

As you were then...