Sakura Wars, the mecha action waifu simulator also known as Project Sakura Wars in Japan, just got rated by the ESRB. This means that the game's close to getting a confirmed release date here in the West, but before that news breaks, we really just wanted to share the title's ESRB rating summary, which is basically a description of the game.
Seriously, it's outstanding as far as summaries go. Slapped with a T for Teen rating, the description begins: "This is a relationship simulation/action game, set in a steampunk 1920s version of Tokyo, in which players lead a combat troupe to defeat demons by using giant mech suits. Players use swords and blasters to fight enemy robots and demons in melee-style combat." Pretty standard as far as quirky Japanese games go, but it gets way better very quickly.
"The game also contains some sexual material: dialogue referencing pornography (e.g., “I guarantee you that's porn”; “Whoa, that's definitely a nudie magazine.”)." It continues: "minigames in which players can zoom-in on characters' body parts (e.g., legs, buttocks, breasts), with accompanying dialogue (e.g., “Man, those legs…Just imagining the paradise at the end of them...”; “As far as chest size…The bigger, the better!”); a still-image sequence depicting a character groping a woman's chest while stating, “But they look so soft! Just one little squeeze…"" Incredible. Imagine having to write all this down.
The description ends rather abruptly: "A handful of bath-house sequences depict partially nude female characters, with breasts slightly obscured by steam. The word “sh*t” appears in the game."
So, er, are you looking forward to Sakura Wars? We'll keep an eye out for an official release date, but until then, feel free to admit that you're interested in the comments section below.
[source esrb.org]
Comments 27
I have to admit, I was hyped for the gameplay but it does sound suitably tongue in cheek 😂
Definitely relationship sim elements then. I am sure it will make sense in context. I mean it can't be that bad given it is only Teen right? ...Right?
At least you know the ESRB were very... thorough when it came to those specific scenes. I am looking forward to this game though. It will be good to try Sakura Wars proper, though I hear the gameplay is different from predecessors.
Don't you just love Japanese games? This looks like a good laugh. Definitely checking it out when the English version comes out
“Man, those legs…Just imagining the paradise at the end of them...”
Someone has a foot fetish.
I just love the quotes so much xD
I'm sure the person who wrote it was having a blast.
Relationship sim my arse. My wife doesnt let me squeeze her boobs or go to "paradise" and I've been with her for 10 years 🤔
@Kidfunkadelic83 this wins comment of the year and it’s only February 😂
@Unffclcntrllerpd thanks man. First time I've ever won anything 😂
If I played this my girlfriend would be like..."you like that then yeah..****** marry her then"
@vapidwolf sounds perfect. No compromising, no answering back, always know where she is and you can turn her off when you bored. Sounds like a win win to me 👌
The guy at the ESRB must have been hot and bothered typing that all out.
@Bliquid I've got 3 kids so I'm guessing I have too 😂
And Sony is allowing this? Looks like they've really learned, huh...
@YozenFroghurt Jesus dat u?
@Ralizah feet > boobs and bum
'dialogue referencing pornography (e.g., “I guarantee you that's porn”; “Whoa, that's definitely a nudie magazine.”)." It continues: "minigames in which players can zoom-in on characters' body parts (e.g., legs, buttocks, breasts), with accompanying dialogue (e.g., “Man, those legs…Just imagining the paradise at the end of them...”; “As far as chest size…The bigger, the better!”); a still-image sequence depicting a character groping a woman's chest while stating, “But they look so soft! Just one little squeeze…"" Incredible.'
Sounds like a typical paedo pervy animi game.
Sounds like a lot of over embellishment for a T for Teen game.
While these lines are funny, they definitively kill every interest in the game for me. Cringey sexual allusions in anime, potentially written by eternal virgins, are not the exception, they are a plague. And as much as I like some animes, I can't get over this anymore.
@YozenFroghurt But if you get 3 kids that way you must really have bad luck. 😆
@Hengist Thats a bit to harsh. But i eont agree about the chestsize bigger isnt always better.
@Ralizah er... Or they're hoping to be going up the leg, not down...
Dont' know what this game's about, but I'm sold...
@JoeBlogs I may have over exaggerated slightly 😂
i bet sony are gonna do their best to censor it.
@Ralizah Depends which end he means
@Kidfunkadelic83 my pleasure , always a win with those husband comments 😂
@Unffclcntrllerpd 👌😂
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