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Feature: Eight PlayStation Properties That Deserve a Shot at the Silver Screen

Posted by Sammy Barker

Hollywood highfliers

Sony’s gone cinematic adaptation insane. Not content with the Ratchet & Clank and Heavenly Sword movies announced last year, the firm has now confirmed that cunning raccoon robber Sly Cooper is set to sneak into theatres in a couple of years. With the platform holder clearly seeing the appeal of bringing its brands to the big screen, though, it’s prompted us to ponder which other properties from the PlayStation archives deserve an opportunity to waltz down the red carpet. Included below are some of the franchises that we think would fit the full motion picture format best – and some daft plot pitches to boot.

Blasto

Released as part of a corporate push to bring the borderline plagiaristic Blasto back from the dead, this big screen reboot would retell the Batman-esque hero’s origin story, as he battles the nefarious space tyrant Bosc for complete control of Planet Uranus. The movie would adopt the guise of a big DreamWorks summer smash, complete with glossy graphics, plenty of action, and more raised eyebrows than a James Bond flick with Roger Moore in the iconic role.

EyePet

A feel good affair for everyone, this fusion of real actors and animated animals would see an idealistic suburban family adopt an EyePet – and expose all of the adventures that they get up to together. The rousing finale would see the titular fur ball crushed by a golf cart while holidaying in Orlando, but after a few nail biting veterinary scenes, the cuddly character would survive to see another day. (Or cynical sequel.)

The Getaway

A real-life action thriller shot in the seedy underbelly of London, the cast for The Getaway almost writes itself. Ex-Wimbledon midfielder turned Hollywood hard man Vinnie Jones would shave his head for the role of chief antagonist and Bethnal Green Mob boss Charlie Jolson, while star of the recent The Sweeney reboot Plan B would fall into the suit of conflicted protagonist Mark Hammond. Ray Winstone, Billy Murray, and Danny Dyer would all appear, too. Duh.

Journey

An arthouse indie animation produced by a group of underground Parisian posers, Journey would be a short film designed to convey emotions so deep that the common man has yet to even acknowledge them. This would almost certainly be the biggest commercial flop on this list, but Oxford media graduates would preserve its legacy by writing papers on its philosophical importance for decades to come.

Patapon

An ear-shattering musical in the vein of an old-school Disney movie, the Patapon picture would focus on the rise of one intrepid monochrome swordsman against the evil Zigoton Empire. Featuring elaborate animated dance sequences and noisier kick drums than the kind that come from a boy racer’s car stereo, this flick would have the potential to drive future parents mad when their hypnotised sprogs demand to watch the inevitable Nickelodeon re-runs.

Pursuit Force

Designed to capitalise upon the popularity of the Fast & Furious flicks, Pursuit Force would see a heavily made-up Nicholas Cage adopt the role of a down on his luck cop wrestling against a ragtag band of clichéd gangs. Rather than waste its budget on a quality screenplay, this movie would invest every last penny into outrageous special effects – the majority of which would focus on ol’ Ghost Rider leaping between different vehicles like a Jack-in-the-Box.

SingStar

A romantic comedy that tells the tale of a totally not typecast Anne Hathaway, this fist-pumping flick would plot the rise of the world’s oldest teenage misfit from video game karaoke queen to world renowned pop princess. Actually an elaborate advertisement, SingStar would boast prominent promotions for the popular PlayStation product of the same name, and would launch alongside a special set of pink microphones for your PS4.

Twisted Metal

Series creator David Jaffe would front this attempt to transform Twisted Metal anti-hero Sweet Tooth into the slasher movie star that he’s clearly always wanted him to be. With a budget slimmer than the crazed clown’s conscious, this rotten tomato would target the lowest common denominator with burnt out Camaros and more decapitated body parts than Frankenstein’s lab. Worryingly, it would probably also top the box office charts.


Which of these proposed pictures do you think would win an Oscar, or do you think that they’ll all dead certs for a coveted Golden Raspberry Award? Blow your PlayStation movie ideas up to the big screen courtesy of the comments section below.

Which of these PlayStation properties would you like to see on the big screen? (38 votes)

Blasto

5%

EyePet

  0%

The Getaway

  3%

Journey

21%

Patapon

11%

Pursuit Force

  3%

SingStar

  3%

Twisted Metal

29%

Other

26%

Please login to vote in this poll.

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User Comments (38)

irken004

#3

irken004 said:

Uncharted's an obvious good pick if the original cast is on board. I think a Killzone or Resistance movie could work too if given a good script. And we all should know that Assassin's Creed is already becoming a live-action movie, hopefully it'll pan out well.

YashaStepanovic

#4

YashaStepanovic said:

@get2sammyb, I have no idea how a LBP movie would work personally, but most likely a kids animated flick, could be rather cute.

KIllzone and Resistance are both good picks too, as long as any Killzone movie actually has a better story that the games... I was rather disappointed with the end of Shadowfall.

And dare I say... TLOU movie ;)

get2sammybAdmin

#5

get2sammyb said:

@irken004 Would you go for an animated format for Uncharted, then?

@YashaStepanovic Yeah, I definitely think LBP would be a movie for kids. Seeing as the characters don't talk, it would be tough to do, though, I think.

Cloud7794

#6

Cloud7794 said:

How did Blasto have no votes? I don't care how critically panned the game was, it was one of those stupid games you just had to laugh at/with. I actually started a new playthrough not long ago.

Don't worry Blasto, someone will do you justice. Just don't hang out with Duke for a while.

Bad-MuthaAdebis

#8

Bad-MuthaAdebis said:

Yeah resistance or killzone would be good. Infamous and uncharted are the obvious choices along with The Last of Us (Matango - a Japanese film set on an island where shipwrecked people get turned into mushrooms!).

BornOfEvil

#9

BornOfEvil said:

1. The Last of Us (live action movie or tv series)

2. Killzone/Resistance (live action movie)

3. Uncharted (animated tv series)

4. Infamous (live action tv series)

5. God of War (live action movie, tv show or animated series)

6. LittleBigPlanet (animated kids show about creativity)

7. Puppeteer (animated kids show)

8. Twisted Metal (live action movie)

ztpayne7

#12

ztpayne7 said:

To be honest, I couldn't figure out if this was a joke article or not. I feel like none of these would make it well as a movie. If sony wanted a movie for one of their franchises, god of war, infamous...I mean, I think even medieval makes more sense than a lot of these choices.

Hongo

#14

Hongo said:

I always thought Resistance would make a good TV series.

Kinda like Falling Skies, but better and set in the past, following the storylines of a few characters trying to survive.

get2sammybAdmin

#17

get2sammyb said:

@ztpayne7 Just a bit of fun, really. Having said that, I do think The Getaway and Twisted Metal would work. Obviously God of War, inFAMOUS, and Uncharted are the most obvious ones, but I feel they share too many similarities with other films to ever be realistic either.

Honestly, they probably picked the right franchises with Sly and Ratchet, as those do genuinely have a shot at being successful in my opinion.

Splat

#18

Splat said:

@get2sammyb - GOW sounds good on paper in-till they give the role to someone like Vin Diesel and it's all down hill from there.

Hongo

#19

Hongo said:

@Splat Spartacus was always the "this is what a God of War TV show would be like" to me.

Which made it awesome.

get2sammybAdmin

#23

get2sammyb said:

@Splat Yeah, I think the other problem with God of War is that Kratos does not really resemble a man - he's obviously much taller and doesn't really have the figure of a human being. As we've seen in the commercials, he ends up looking weird and rubbery when someone tries to dress up like him.

AeroZeppelin

#24

AeroZeppelin said:

@RyoHazuki Because then they would lose money studios don't make movies to lose money they make movies to make money As for Nicholas cage he hasn't been in any movies in a while

jmburks

#25

jmburks said:

Uncharted, Infamous, Killzone, Resistance! those would all be good movies that i would go see!

AeroZeppelin

#26

AeroZeppelin said:

Just so everybody knows there has been a Twisted metal movie in development since 2012 just google it

Grockumus

#27

Grockumus said:

@Hongo Resistance would make a REALLY awesome TV show, especially if it followed an assortment of characters from different parts of the world, primarily the UK and US (maybe even Russia, where it all really started).

Epic

#33

Epic said:

THere's alrady an Uncharted an Ratchet and Clank movie on the works so I don't have much to ask.

eliotgballade

#36

eliotgballade said:

great feature article . my vote would be for a getaway film .
agree with the suggestions for the cast , but I would also
have that bloke from eastEnders who looks like an alien
from mars attacks ( "ha ha ! no , seriously , i WILL kill you ! " )
and Robin Askwith as the bethnal green mob boss .

hydeks

#37

hydeks said:

I voted Blasto cause Blasto was awesome! Only problem is Phil Hartman is dead, and he made that role.

Other than that, I would definitely go see Twisted Metal if they made a movie out of it....that doesn't suck :-P

Squiggle55

#38

Squiggle55 said:

I have no doubt that twisted metal would make the best movie. Simple story. Flesh out the characters. Battle Royale to the death. Pure action. Just like Mortal Kombat. It writes itself.

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