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Topic: Breaking up...

Posts 1 to 15 of 15

Scollurio

... sucks bigtime.
Anyone got a patented recipe for getting through the first 72 hours without hanging oneself?

#supportindies
Top 5 Indies I'd recommend you try: #1 Lovecraft's Untold Stories, #2 Moonlighter, #3 Hotline Miami, #4 Inside, #5 Into the Breach.

PSN: Scollurio | Twitter:

Reverend_Skeeve

Aw man, I'm so sorry to hear that.

As Tasuki said, booze might help to dull the pain...but it can also increase melancholia, so careful with that.

Do something that distracts you. Meet friends, watch some of your fav. series...and do some sports. Keeps your mind busy and releases some endorphines that increase your mood.

Hang in there, buddy...and if you want to play some Killzone co-op, hit me up.

Reverend_Skeeve

Sanquine

1. Friends, they helped me a lot. I had a cheating gf!So, if that happened to you i can relate.

2. Go to the gym and workout. I does help alot to have a way to extract those negative feelings.

A above getting drunk is terrible idea... It only enhances the feeling of lonelyness.

3. You will get the right girl (i thought you had a GF). Somethings are not meant to be!

PSNid= Sanquine90

PSN: Sanquine90

rastamadeus

A new game. When my ex and I split up I'd only bought Red Dead a few days prior. Shoved it on just for something to do and it captured me. By the time I'd gone through it (about a week and a bit) things felt a bit better as I'd had the needed distraction.

Drink, in my opinion, is the wrong way to go. Can lead to unnecessary problems and complications.

"Oh smeg. What the smegging smegs he smegging done? He's smegging killed me."

PSN: Rastamadeus | Twitter:

Tasuki

As others have said just keep yourself busy is the best thing to do.  Hang  out with some friends, play some games etc.  Try to avoid doing things that reminder you of her if it all possible.  Befor you know it you will be alot better and hopefully will be able to move on and find the right woman for you.

RetiredPush Square Moderator and all around retro gamer.

My Backlog

PSN: Tasuki3711

dark_gemuarto

Break ups don't need to be painfull. Just change the way you think about break ups. Remember life is an experience. Embrace experience, accept and understand it =))).

Edited on by dark_gemuarto

dark_gemuarto

Scollurio

Thank you to everyone's advice. Just some background, we broke up after 4 years, had a really intense and loving relationship but due to circumstance (living far separated, changes in everyone's life priorities, quite some age difference) it didn't make any sense anymore. I was hurt bad, no matter how to view it, it just hurt bad as I'm the sensible kind of person. We had a good talk, then made the step. After the first, horrific night, we had another talk to clear things up a bit more and left it at that and separated in a good mood without bad blood. I miss her. Lots but like most you suggested, my coping recipy is a healthy mix of: work hard, workout hard (got a rowing machine), enjoy life (listen to rainfall, enjoy fresh air afterwards, etc... little things) and go see friends (one of them happening to be a nice sweet girl that keeps the believe in sensible, warm-hearted women alive in me) and just enjoy one or two glasses of scotch before bed just so I fall asleep easier but not to knock myself out. It works. More or less. What options do I have anyways.

But hey, this will free me up to persue the holy grail of videogaming: a japanese gaming girlfriend.
lol
I'm bitter.
Thanks again.

#supportindies
Top 5 Indies I'd recommend you try: #1 Lovecraft's Untold Stories, #2 Moonlighter, #3 Hotline Miami, #4 Inside, #5 Into the Breach.

PSN: Scollurio | Twitter:

Sanquine
Scollurio

Thank you to everyone's advice. Just some background, we broke up after 4 years, had a really intense and loving relationship but due to circumstance (living far separated, changes in everyone's life priorities, quite some age difference) it didn't make any sense anymore. I was hurt bad, no matter how to view it, it just hurt bad as I'm the sensible kind of person. We had a good talk, then made the step. After the first, horrific night, we had another talk to clear things up a bit more and left it at that and separated in a good mood without bad blood. I miss her. Lots but like most you suggested, my coping recipy is a healthy mix of: work hard, workout hard (got a rowing machine), enjoy life (listen to rainfall, enjoy fresh air afterwards, etc... little things) and go see friends (one of them happening to be a nice sweet girl that keeps the believe in sensible, warm-hearted women alive in me) and just enjoy one or two glasses of scotch before bed just so I fall asleep easier but not to knock myself out. It works. More or less. What options do I have anyways.

But hey, this will free me up to persue the holy grail of videogaming: a japanese gaming girlfriend.
lol
I'm bitter.
Thanks again.

One advice, please don't go searching for another girlfriend to fill the void of lonelyness... When i broke up after 5 years relationship i was heartbroken and i didn't want to be alone. I started dating the most horrific girls with no personality or girls that liked me before i had a relationship... every date was a trainwreck... Then i accepted the fact that i was single and it has it benefits like much more time with friends excetera. After 2 months a girl came to me in the bar and we had an amazing conversation. Since then i dated here a couple of times before yes this sounds weird asked me to be her boyfriend. (Yes, i was already in love and totally forget about my ex... difference between you and me was my ex was cheating and didn't want me to hang out with my friends)

Edited on by Sanquine

PSNid= Sanquine90

PSN: Sanquine90

Scollurio

Thanks for the advice man, but to prior experience I already know how this doesn't end too well. Im taking my time for myself, really digging into my hobbies, work and sports. Some friends I didn't even know caring for me helped me tremendously. The effort of you folks here is also not to be underestimated. It was a while since I felt the bitterness of a breakup. One of those breakups also was about a girlfriend cheating on me, so I know that special kind of pain as well. No joy really. Right now I made a huge progress by packing all her stuff and sending it to her (distance relationship) and I figured, while painfully reading through old love letters and photo albums, that what really fascinated me about the "invincible us" already stopped almost 2 years ago. You know, I believe, in every relationship there's a point where it's just over and if you're honest to yourself, you know it. That point was a fair while ago. I suffered, I survived, I learn. In a few months (meanwhile focusing on my work) I'll slowly try to "place myself attractively in public" again. Lets see.

Thanks again all.

#supportindies
Top 5 Indies I'd recommend you try: #1 Lovecraft's Untold Stories, #2 Moonlighter, #3 Hotline Miami, #4 Inside, #5 Into the Breach.

PSN: Scollurio | Twitter:

Sanquine
Scollurio

Thanks for the advice man, but to prior experience I already know how this doesn't end too well. Im taking my time for myself, really digging into my hobbies, work and sports. Some friends I didn't even know caring for me helped me tremendously. The effort of you folks here is also not to be underestimated. It was a while since I felt the bitterness of a breakup. One of those breakups also was about a girlfriend cheating on me, so I know that special kind of pain as well. No joy really. Right now I made a huge progress by packing all her stuff and sending it to her (distance relationship) and I figured, while painfully reading through old love letters and photo albums, that what really fascinated me about the "invincible us" already stopped almost 2 years ago. You know, I believe, in every relationship there's a point where it's just over and if you're honest to yourself, you know it. That point was a fair while ago. I suffered, I survived, I learn. In a few months (meanwhile focusing on my work) I'll slowly try to "place myself attractively in public" again. Lets see.

Thanks again all.

WOWW.. dude, you just described things i also got in many relationships.. The point you stay together because you don't want to be lonely but you dont have that love you once had... Keep strong mate! I hope you recover very soon.

PSNid= Sanquine90

PSN: Sanquine90

JJ2

I think this kind of thing happened to many of us..
My opinion is: always forgive but never forget (dont take her back) and be rich as in what you dont spend.
I thought I knew all about love before I had my kid but now I know what love really is.
Too bad for self centered girls etc.

The crowd, accepting this immediately, assumed the anti-Eurasian posters and banners everywhere were the result of acts of sabotage by agents of Goldstein and ripped them from the walls.

Gemuarto

Yeah, when you really love someone, you can't feel pain even if you break up with her. If you feel pain, it's not true love. Because true love can't be lost and erased and can't transform into pain. So it's good that you breaked up, if you feel pain about it. Pain is always comes from feeling of ownership, not from love. People don't like to lose things they own and feel pain, a lot of pain.

Gemuarto

Sanquine
Gemuarto

Yeah, when you really love someone, you can't feel pain even if you break up with her. If you feel pain, it's not true love. Because true love can't be lost and erased and can't transform into pain. So it's good that you breaked up, if you feel pain about it. Pain is always comes from feeling of ownership, not from love. People don't like to lose things they own and feel pain, a lot of pain.

Sorry but you do feel pain if you lose someone if she breaks up with you and you still love her... My cheating ex on the other hand i couldn't care less. Wants me back? ( She stalked me for two weeks because she didn't sleep on purpose with some guys... ) FU is the only thing i can say.

PSNid= Sanquine90

PSN: Sanquine90

Scollurio

While I necessarily don't fully agree on Gemuarto's opinion, because if you get your heart broken and you're still in "we are the 2 invincibles that go and conquer the world" when she's already moved on to "Im awesome, I don't need anyone" it just simply hurts.... at least for me.

BUT

It's easy to mistake "love" for something else. Like Gemuarto says, sometimes you're hurt not because you're love is broken but because you lose "ownership" over a person. They remove themselves from your grasp, don't care for your opinion anymore. I know what Gemuarto is talking about here, but for me, the line is REALLY thin between "love" and hurt pride because of lost ownership. You could also say if your word has no value to your ex partner anymore you're hurt on multiple levels, like pride and ego but also just simply in your heart, because you enjoyed helping her, honestly, and now you can't anymore, even if you'd still be together, she wouldn't give a poop anymore.

Thing is that I always seem to be the guy investing lots and lots, being the guy that so many girls openly want to have, caring, honest, loyal but in the end I always end up in this scenario: Picking a girl that needs some kind of help (I really enjoy helping a person I love) like a bird with 2 broken wings, and once that bird is confident in flying again after I mended it all up, it wants to fly away and drop a load on my head. Ahahaha.

Actually I'm not smiling here. Pff.

But, @Gemuarto to your hypothesis, when is it love then? When you let someone go with no tear shed because you know that one person will be better off without you and you're happy for her, not sad, not hurt, not angry?

#supportindies
Top 5 Indies I'd recommend you try: #1 Lovecraft's Untold Stories, #2 Moonlighter, #3 Hotline Miami, #4 Inside, #5 Into the Breach.

PSN: Scollurio | Twitter:

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